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Poem: I need you

Mom, you’ve left us so unexpected
Since then, I feel nothing inside
You were my shadow
Now you’re gone, I feel so hollow
I admit, 
when I write these lines,
I’m emotionally scarred
People say it is very evident from eyes

I hate to tell lie,
These emotions are real, 
Let me, paint the picture for you,
how I feel inside my mind.
I’m trapped here, I need to release
Being vulnerable is so hard to comprehend
Pain is a prison for me, it looks like there is no end
I’m not here for people; to please
I’ve realized, at some point in life
people will always leave.

Now, I live on the dark side
So much self-consumed by the fear,
that has comfortably got settled in my mind
you left us so unexpected,
we were waiting for your recovery
but life played a game of treachery
every time I heard the door-bell,
 I run to window-side
Coz you’ve kept us at the window, waiting for you

believe me, there’s no secret
I wish, when my mom took the last breath
I should have been there, that’s the only regret
I still feel like, I’m dreaming
It’s hard to comprehend the fact that, 
you are not here anymore
I was too young to understand that,
When your soul departure to home-of-God, oh Lord!

I’ve lost the old me
I’m bleeding to death, with the holes in my chest
I’m living with regret; 
I don’t trust the thing beating inside my chest
It’s harder to face this all alone
These thoughts make me feel captivated
I don’t want to feel this way,
I’m always aggravated
These emotions are automated.
I wish someday, 
I wake up and I’m able to get rid of this burden 
I’m a perfect definition of wreck-soul

In our last conversation, sitting in the bedroom
We talked about career and life,
I remember you told me,
” If I’m gone, son: strive hard to make your life”.
I’ll be your guardian angel, to protect you from any harm
We’ll meet in your dreams, and I’ll keep you warm
I was crying my eyes out, that kid was feeling pitiful 
Now, this relationship is something 
we will never have,
It’s not funny, it’s hard for me to grasp 
It took me everything- not to scream at your funeral
It hit my brain, especially the frontal
I need you; I need you, mom
I cannot face this alone

©	-Vishal Singh.
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