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No Toilet Paper My mind is boggled. What is with the Coronavirus mania? Why is everyone going freaking nuts over this? From what this writer understands, It is much like the regular flu, Which is killing thousands as we speak, and Hospitalizing even more. And this has been going on, As long as I have been alive since 1952. But this particular microbe is novel, and Since little is known about it apparently, People are afraid they will “get it.” So off to Costco they all go, and Buy as much toilet paper they are all permitted to buy, Take it home, store or hide it with the other family treasures, And then realize, inexplicably, that now They are all magically immune to “getting it.” Is that what these crazed souls are thinking? I can think of a fate worse than “getting it.” Worse than sports games being cancelled; Worse than concerts and plays going on indefinite hiatus; Worse than school classes and Sunday services finding the exit door, for now; Worse than millions of vacations being cancelled, and Entire industries being brought to their knees; Worse than the world economy taking a complete nosedive Into depression and financial paralysis; Worse than millions of human beings dying Horrible, agonizing deaths due to this little microbe. No, I can think of something even worse. Imagine going to Steak Corral - All You Can Eat, One night soon, and you wanted your money’s worth. So you load up your plate with: Whiskey-laced, barbecued baked beans and garlic bread; Two breadcrumb-laced quarter pound char-burgers, Each smothered in a half dozen beer-breaded onion rings, With ranch dressing dripping over them like lava. Then you go get some more beans on french fries with Big raw garlic chunks nestled in them, and then, You wash it all down with three beers. Imagine the next morning. Imagine the horror, the horror, Of voiding all that Steak Corral stuff, and then Having the absolute worst possible thing Happen to you in today’s crisis times. No toilet paper.
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