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'Twas the night before Christmas at the North Pole.
Santa paced to and fro contemplating his role.
Things were in disarray and Mz Claus was on his case,
Chiding him about working just one day a year was a disgrace!

He'd been doing his routine for two-hundred years or so,
And wanted to retire to the South Pole and take it slow!
His reindeer were getting old and fat and slowing down,
Especially Rudolph, the red-nosed one, of world renown!

The shafts and runners on his sleigh needed much repair.
Dealing with his slothful elves left him in deep despair!
They went on strike and there were few toys on the shelves.
Kids might have to go to Walmart for toys, fending for themselves!

He tired of kids peeing on his lap during whimpering interviews,
And getting stuck and rumpling his suit in all those sooty flues!
He was getting fed up with the usual snacks of cookies and milk;
Santa much preferred salami and cheese or something of that ilk.

Due to climate change, the Pole was thawing, adding to his woes.
All too soon his whole operation could be afloat on Arctic floes!
But despite his problems Santa saddled his cranky but faithful deer,
Determined to visit each girl and boy to deliver joy and good cheer!

Entry for Joseph May's "The Night Before" Contest
(22 November 2019)

Placed No. 3 in the contest

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