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TURK TATIL MIZAH 





FOREST GUMP

Did you hear about old Forest Gump
Went up to do a parachute jump
Gave the rip cord a jerk
Found out it didn't work
Hit the ground with one hell of a thump...

JED

In the care home was an old boy called Jed
Always given some blue pills with his med
And every night
He didn't excite
But it stopped him from falling out of bed...

THE BAKER

There was a baker from Hemel Hempstead 
His loaves were the best you've ever tasted 
But what people didn't know
LSD was in the dough
After eating his bread they'd be wasted...

PETE

A meat factory owner called Pete
Won gold awards for his sausage meat
But his meat supply
And this is no lie
Was of meat from stray dogs off the street...

SANTA  ( NOT FOR KIDS )

Santa Claus was out preparing his sled
Whilst all children were tucked up in bed
Put some presents at the back
Had a fatal heart attack 
The elves rushed out but poor Santa was dead ...

THE SWIMMER

A young man went for a swim in the sea
Smelt a bad smell wondered what can it be 
A woman shouted swim back
The sewer pipe has a crack
He then realised he was swimming in pee...

JOHN

John was heading off to hot sunny Spain
When he landed saw snow falling and rain
Went through immigration
Hit with realisation
At the airport he'd boarded the wrong plane...

SUZE

She was born in the city of Syracuse 
Was a stripper with the stage name of Suze
Was ginormous on top
That made all men's jaws drop
For private shows she's the one men would choose...

FRED

Fred went out for a curry vindaloo
All okay till he bent down to his shoe
A sharp pain then some gas
He was sure it would pass
Too late, he never made it to the loo...






Written on 24th September 2019.

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