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Burden

Would anyone notice if i were gone,

How long before anyone would come,

What if i just slowly became withdrawn,

This game of chess i am simply a pawn,

Is it easier for them to just ignore me,

Not acknowledge the issues they can see,

Sweep it under the carpet like its dust

Creating a complete persona of mistrust,

No matter how much i hola and scream,

Stop talking nonsense, going to the extreme,

Just pull yourself together they spit in disgust,

Then I am scolded and relentlessly schussed,

If only it were simple a switch to turn off,

To change how i feel, the thoughts to stop,

But the tough love hurts, it makes me kick off,

You say I’m ignorant just an adolescent strop,

But if they would take the time to listen,

The depth of the hurt isn’t easily hidden,

But its easier to just ignore my position,

Than acknowledge I’m an abomination,

How long will i be able to live this way,

Hiding my feelings, slowly fading away,

Trying my damnedest to not ruin there day,

I wish i wasn’t this way, pushing them away.

I don’t want to be the burden i have to be,

I wish they could see what asking does to me,

Grown and helpless without the help i need,

The embarrassment i feel but i have to concede,

Burdening their lives and stealing there time,

The curse of my paradox within my paradigm.

Of course they're courteous when i chastise

When the anger fades i of course alchemise

Aware of the burden i hinder their lives with,

My apologies soon come verbally forthwith,

Of course my actions cause them to be gainsay

All i hope and pray is that i can be saved one day.

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