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Poem

To leave all of this behind,
Would be a blessing and a curse. 
I wouldn’t mind seeing the other side,
Who knows what awaits for us?
I’ve thought about it every day for the last ten years. 
At least some form of it. 
Mental health needs to be at 100%,
She says I just need to be stable. 
But for me to be stable, I have to give up these thoughts. 
How could I? They’ve been there for me for ten years, 
how could I abandon them?

But in all reality I know what needs to be done. 
It’s not easy, it’s not always fair. 
Most days I feel an absolute fool. 
Most days I question legitimacy. 
But how can I question if I don’t know how to ask?

Fleeting thoughts of death return,
Fleeting thoughts evolve.

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