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I find myself In a dark room Strapped to a bed The light turns on The large TV comes on A smiling image Of Satan fills the TV He is dressed In a conservative business suit Looks like he came Out of a corporate board meeting surrounded by demonic aides who constantly shove papers at him He looks up from his lap top And smiles A deadly so insincere smile His voice booms out Welcome to Hell My satanic slaves I am Satan Your new master Each of you Has been sentenced To an eternity of torture And the punishment Must fit the crime So, for you Mr. Jake Cosmos Aller Failed aspiring poet And novelist Your torture Is to be strapped To that bed Unable to move As you are filled With the need To piss and But you cannot move And your skin Is crawling with bugs And itchy as Hell so to speak and you are so sleepy but you cannot sleep the TV will play endless repeats Of some of the worst TV and movie shows ever produced Starting with my favorite A Series of Unfortunate Events Featuring your favor annoying little girl Carmetta! Singing for you forever As you are the ultimate cake sniffer Welcome to Hell
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