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Nervous, apprehensive, determined most of all
Excitement on hold, a job to be done
His greatest gift, holy, our creation.
I was prepared, clarity in vision.
Betrayed, a body incapable of my goal.
The journey we started forced to an end,
Mind over matter now meaningless sentiment.

Consent hurriedly signed as corridors sped by
Smell and sounds unfamiliar to our plan,
Masked faces, green gowns occupy our space
Determination gives way to trepidation uncontrolled.
Your father takes my hand, soul now stilled
Presence of his strength restoring all calm.

Searing pain, tearing through me, more than I can bare
Again the end goal grows too far,
You are within reach, unable to be touched
The seconds tick by, clock jealous of our need.
 
Finally the cocoon that was your home releases you,
A screwed up face and manhood presented to me.
Overwhelmed, emotions lightening in speed
You are here, your arrival the greatest event.

An afternoon spent lost in your gaze,
Confirmation perfection on earth exists.
Stars appear in the night sky
Wearily, with reluctance, utata kisses us goodbye.

The phone call arrives,
Urgency the need,
The greatest day turned inside out.
Your life safe I faced my own mortality
Seconds, minutes, hours all pass by
Again and again dark skies give way to light.

Awake! Scared! Fear foremost in my mind.
What happened to my child?
Why do I not feel you near?
Your father’s hand never far from mine
His eyes reflect my fear,
But knowledge gives him ease, relief has found him.

Tests, observations, all stealing time from me
Never a woman’s need for her kin has been so great.
The warmth of your skin a glove to my heart.
A life spared, second chance, saved by God’s grace.

The years pass by, 10 in all,
Sometimes you question my humanity
Forever I reassure you I will never leave.
Your heart, your blood they are part of me,
Entwined are our souls, never to be freed.

You took my life as I gave you yours,
It was You who gave birth to me,
For you created a mother, 
A higher being.
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