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Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
It has been twelve years
Every one of those years
I have been turned away 
by officials of the city
Twelve long years 
of being on the housing waiting list
Being the only breadwinner
Times got tougher 
To my children I imagine 
that to them 
I am a failure in many ways
No where for me to seek refuge
The only way is inside my head could convince me otherwise
What do you say to a 
man living with cerebral palsy?
Who has to proof himself on all fronts
Spiritually it becomes draining 
in a one room flat
He becomes out of touch 
with those immediate loved ones
Wife then kids or vice versa
All freedoms are compromised
Specially the kids
As a physical impaired man
I am not much affected 
Considering my boarding school days
It becomes tough 
when it is an all female club
And I am the only male 
and physically impaired
Mentally the impact takes its toll
There is a heaviness within me
I cannot seem to find an outlet
That's why I'm living on a page
Out of control
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts 
I cannot repair
If you see me smiling 
It is a front 
this is how I deal with my pain
Many second job attempts fail
I am beginning to doubt myself
I sometimes stare at myself in the mirror
My wife's take on it 
is that I am full of myself 
That may be the case
It runs much deeper than that
Maybe I am taking her 
too much along with me
But I can't help it we are close knit family 
The Lord has blessed me
With three daughters
They could write 
a book about me 
one day if they are aspiring authors
along with my wife as their editor
Poetry is my only sanctuary 
My world in black and white
I silently wish for all those material things
Things that is out my grasp of understanding
Why some of us
gets it easy and others hard
Is there a lesson 
to us that are disenfranchised 
or are we nearing our expiry date?
Hey, it is just a thought 
along with my perception of things
Who gets to build us up?
When you hit rock bottom 
What is the bottom line?
What if we get to that helpline too late?
What will they say in your obituary
Were you worthwhile living with
Or were you known to be a prick
Only time will tell
Poetry is my only sanctuary 
My world in black and white
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