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I read in the news the other day,
Believe this if you can.
We should have a gingerbread person,
And not a gingerbread man.

Yes, things should now be genderless,
In order to avoid the flack,
Should anyone be offended, 
When buying a gingery snack. 

When it snows, don’t build a snowman,
Avoid the ladybird,
No, if you’re vexed by the gender of biscuits
I don’t think you should be heard. 

If upset by a Portuguese Man of War, 
Then I hope it’s because you’ve been stung. 
Not because it shouldn’t be male. 
Please just watch your tongue. 

So sheep must be feminine, 
According to your rule.
Or maybe they’re just sheep after all,
And you’re really just a fool?

Do you avoid mannequins?
Their manly name make you sad?
Or do you try not to be happy,
For a male is contained in ‘glad’?

Manchester must surely be added, 
To your list of masculine foes.
But it also contains ‘chest’,
And we all have one of those.

In this scary world of ours, 
With so many keen to divide. 
We must choose our battles wisely,
And then fight them with pride. 

We must support those who need us,
Targeted for who they are.
For their race, religion or who they love,
And we must re-set the bar. 

Equality, yes! Ridiculousness, no! 
There is a much larger war,
And everyone should have the same chances of life, 
However they are born. 

I think it’s clear to most of us, 
That it’s really very drastic,  
And we must act now to prevent the planet…
… from drowning in a sea of plastic. 

I cannot fathom how so many treat
Our fauna and our flora,
In a world where so much is advancing,
Our planet is getting poorer. 

The world is going weird on us, 
And should it be deemed fussy,
When a woman has to ask…
… that she is not grabbed by her pussy?

And the UK is struggling too;
Do we leave or do we remain?
Just tell us of the final deal, 
And let us vote again.

We’re letting down the NHS, 
The sick, the lonely, the old.
And I think wealth is skewed beyond belief,
If I may be so bold. 

So when choosing your battles in future, 
I really wouldn’t risk it. 
Nobody has time for someone,
Who’s offended by a biscuit.
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