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Rudolph's nose shines frosty bright,
Relations will be cool this night
He raps a hoof on Santa's door
And says we feel we should earn more

If we're to work on Christmas day
We must insist on double pay
And if we do not get our way
We'll just refuse to pull your sleigh

Santa sneers, I do not like
Your attitude, so take a hike
For if the reindeer go on strike
I'll just go out and buy a bike

Rudolph hisses, listen Guv
A bike to fly the sky above
With all your weight you'll need a shove
But don't call on the reindeer, Bruv.

If I must I'll hire a van
Just remember, I'm the man
Who makes the rules, because I can
You pull sleighs... That's the plan.

Rudolph gasps, in fact he balks
Santa thinks he flys with hawks
Hark at him and how he talks
Without us reindeer, Santa walks

You cannot strike, it's not allowed
You've got your head stuck in a cloud
But don't get used to standing proud
You'll soon be back, your heads all bowed

We're underpaid, don't stand and preach
We fly all night, one carrot each
If no agreement we can reach
You find us lounging on the beach

But Santa says, you're meant to vote
To tick a box and post the note
So no one knows just what you wrote
So who says you can rock the boat

Don't stand and quote the union rules
You take us for a bunch of fools
And treat us like a herd of mules
Tonight my friend, we're downing tools

Then Santa sighs, Just stop your squawking
Without you lads, I won't reach Dorking
Would two carrots each stop you walking
Ah, says Rudolph, Now you're talking

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