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Jan caught a jet plane to New York
Where bacon does not come from pork
To end her trip
Jan let one rip
The Captain delivered a stork

Jan's flight was Economy grade
Stuck between an old man and old maid
In the middle row
Which way should she blow?
"Hey!  I've got a new hearing aid!"

Hot air will rise up to the Heaven
Where degrees are numbered to seven
But Jan's chocolate farts
Broke all of the charts
And bounced back to suffocate Devon

Donald Trump and May made a pact
To abolish the Clean Air Act
For with Jan on the loose
Even Trump could deduce
Air stinks as a matter of fact

Jan could hear the wind in the willows
And lay down her head on the pillows
But one gust of wind
Would quickly transcend
Her sheets into shuddering billows.

So Jan wanted to go back home
But her agent booked her to Nome
The crews final task:
"Get oxygen mask"
Jan's luggage was blasted to Rome

Jan thought that she needed a rest
So she flew off to Budapest
She let off a few
For Captain and crew
Now she oompahs Oktoberfest

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