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Poem
Song:-  1990

Mother    Mother
   love me  love me 
   love me  love me
   I need your love

   (repeat)

why don't you like me?
why do you hate me?
why do you hit me?

Mother  Mother

where is your love?
where is the safety I think of?
when I hear -

Mother  Mother  !!

Mother  Mother
are you mine?
why don't you love me?
why do you hate me?
why do you hit me?

Mother  Mother

How can I live without love?

I hide in the dark
I build walls in my mind
For I can't believe

Mother Mother

You don't love me.




I have posted this for others that are facing suicidal questions. 
This was a healing song written to release my own walls that I used to protect
myself from age 4 and onwards.  Was reading Daisy Tyrell request for feedback.  Hope it helps a little.  I could fill a book on the subject of the fight for life.  Will attempt to put some in words as I can.

And it is a fight - those that are willing never to surrender will live. I remember, one time - stuck in a noisy hospital wing, a friend also suicidal at same time in another city.  I wrote every moment, filling a large A4 pad.  On my knees, crying  - I was writing " I want to live"  I am willing to live.  Over and over. Line after line.  Page after page.  Also writing to my friend -
encouraging him to fight and live.  I won my fight that time -but my  friend
did not.  When I heard of his death - It put  me right back in hospital again.
The fight started all over again -never easy, but I won that one too and several more after that!

Daisy's poem talks of wanting to find beauty within.  That may not be what there is to find. A great truth is found the point of rock bottom.  Mental health counsellors term it  'bedrock'.   When you find bedrock -you find your truest self.  It was to my great astonishment I found my bedrock housed an 
unquenchable spring of joy!  Once I came to terms that this was the real me - 
I was able to identify what was capping that well of joy.  It took another 15 years to free myself from all those restrictive people. Once totally free never had another mental health issue.  Funny that.

I have only shared this to hopefully encourage others.  These times are long gone and totally cleared for me. Live a joyous, happy clownish though late starter life.  Love always - Virginia
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