Email Poem

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Personal Note:

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Poem

It's blindsiding,
the clarity that context brings.
New eyes seeing
the things I did before knowing
any better.

For a moment
I got a glimpse
at the reasons
& answers
I have been so desparately 
seeking for so long.

Meaning became a taste,
luscious on my tongue,
velvet like ice-cream
& just as long lasting.

Love & hate are truly
intertwined in a knot
so untangle-able.
Because love
is nothing like I thought
it was.

& there's
no greater pain
than being numb…

Sometimes I wonder
if you ever got the chance
to grow tiny little fingers
like the baby book said.
Because your tiny, unformed hands
still hold my heart.

You were my dawn breaking
after the cold dead of night.
Showing me 
love's caress in the light.

You told me the strangest of stories.
And one day, when I meet you,
I will tell them back 
to you again.

I will tell you, 
baby,
that you made me 
understand living.

I know life with you
wouldn't have been easy.
I ache for it every day.

& like my shade
from the harsh beat of the sun, 
you keep me safe.
Reveling in your sacrifice,
I have the strength to stay.

Testing the waters
of what it means to be free;
death is the only ending -
nothing greater can be taken from me.

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