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A nice cruise from New York, I thought From down by Pier two-one I thought I'd head to England For a good old spot of fun An Ocean trip, some nice fresh air Eleven days at sea I thought this would perfect to Help inspire me I'd never been to Europe So I did some reading first The history's insane there The books did quench my thirst I couldn't wait to get there To travel all around And take all sorts of pictures To show folks what I'd found On board, I met a punter A real hard boiled chap He told me of "his England" Not the funny, tourist crap He asked where I was going I said "I've no idea" He told me that he'd show me things As long as I bought beer I asked him what he meant by this He said "Just wait and see" "I'll show you things...will curl your hair" "You watch son, follow me.' He told me of a werewolf Running loose in London town He was killing folks in Soho And they couldn't bring him down He said "Two nights from now" "The moon would be real nice" "A full moon brings out werewolves son..." "That's your first bit of advice" I shuddered then, I wasn't sure If "this England" would be right But, I begged off from the table And I settled for the night My mind was working overtime Nightmares and dreams came quick And with the heaving on the water I woke up to be sick I went up on the deck to walk And grab a little air But who to my surprise was by the railing standing there He said " I thought you'd be here sooner Isn't it a lovely moon? Just a few more days to go The werewolf walks real soon "Let's go and get a coffee" "I figured I won't get back to sleep" "And my nerves are really shaky" "I know I won't sleep deep" He said "Don't worry laddie" "I've lots more tales to speak" "But their stories for the hearty" "And you son...seem so weak" I asked him about Whitechapel He said ...."Oh, Jack the Ripper" "He murders girls down that way son" I then peed in my slippers He goes around at night you see And picks up girls in the night gloom Then he takes them back and guts them In the comfort of their room" I thought, I wanted jolly stuff Like palaces and such This tour of London murder sites Well, it seems a little much I said "I've heard of Harley Street" "Can we go there for a ride?' He said "No problem son.. "We might meet Mr. Hyde" "Dr. Jekyll drinks this stuff Thats turns him to a beast The monster's name is Mr. Hyde It's in London...to the east." I thought, this isn't what I signed on to go see I didn't want the next victim To end up being me. I said "Is there a place that's safe at all?" He said "I can take you by the palace" "We can go walk up the mall" I said "that would be perfect" "That doesn't sound so hard" He said "Just watch for Moriarty" "Sherlock Holmes and Scotland Yard" At this point I got up and said "I think I'm off to bed" "All this talk of horror" "Caused an aching in my head" I said " I think, I'll just move on And travel somewhere like Albania" He said that I must see His friend in southern Transylvannia. He said Mr. Van Helsing Would take me for a tour And with what I'd see in Europe I'd forget the London gore" I thanked him and I went to bed And I then asked him his name "Dracul" he said...but call me "Vlad" "I'm sure we'll meet again" I changed my plans, went to my room And I figured "What the heck" But I have this one last question" Why was he staring at my neck?
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