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A football star with super speed, Our prom king, Kyle, has gone to seed. No longer likely to succeed, He's out of work and hooked on weed. Behind you's Jennifer, the one Who led our cheers and planned our fun. Most popular, with honors won, She's sheriff now and totes a gun. And over there is rotten Chad, Once cocky jock, now deadbeat dad. He bullied me and so I'm glad That his investments turned out bad. Well, here comes Sue, who was so shy She never even kissed a guy. She's since helped seven husbands die, But always has an alibi. A wit and prankster of renown Who backwards wore his cap and gown, Was Jason there, our class's clown. The best mortician now in town. A teenage tramp in scanty dress, Yvonne no morals did possess. She'd cheat and lie, so who would guess She'd be a judge and great success. Poor Adam there has gone to pot, His hopes of being doctor shot. Divorced and now a lonely sot, The saddest of this sorry lot. Remember curly-headed Clay, The eagle scout and closet gay? He's quarterback for Tampa Bay, Is out, and wears a full toupee. Poor Brook, our class's beauty queen, Who prompted thoughts in boys unclean. She's gone from slender sweet sixteen To hugest hips you've ever seen. And look at Zack, the puny nerd With build and beak just like a bird. Once too afraid to say a word, He's now a billionaire, I've heard. A romeo, Jake had his fun. Most every girl he knew, he'd done. Now congressman in Washington, His votes are screwing everyone. There's Beth, who boys refused to date. Alone for years, she married late. Her husband left a vast estate. That hunk she's with is twenty-eight. Example of the alpha male Who knew not how it felt to fail, My buddy, Ethan, went to Yale. But he's not here 'cause he's in jail. I view this wreckage with dismay, This gathering of youth decay. For one exception, look this way. I haven't aged a single day.
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