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THE DUNMURRY INCIDENT

There’s a big row going on in Dunmurry
And the whole place has come to a stop
There’s a war going on with the girl who makes cakes
And the bird in the newspaper shop

They both fancy Taxi man Terry
Though Newspaper Nell saw him first
Yet it seems he’s enticed, by Puff pastry Pat
Now poor Nell is fearing the worst

Pat has been seen tempting Terry
With her big baps, and choice of cream cakes
Poor Nell can’t offer those fanciful things
But she’s willing to do what it takes

Then Pat hit Nell with a doughnut
So Nell thought she’d better give chase
She walloped poor Pat, with an old Sunday Life
Then rubbed newsprint all over her face

Pat staggered back to the bakery
And she brought out a large lemon pie
It went over Nell’s head, and into her ears
Some even went into her eye

Nell made a soft muted whimper
From the sting in her eye I suppose
She reached in her pocket, and that’s when aul Pat
Got a triple A, stuck up her nose

Well the cops, they arrived in a hurry
And they pulled the two ladies apart
So peace was restored to the village 
And poor Terry, he had to depart

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