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According to the local reports
The 24 hr. ATM on Main Street 
Opened on time again forever
Today and every day as predicted
Aint fake news great in America

They also say at 11:00 am the ATM went missing
Jack was ninety. Jack was nimble. Jack was quick
Forget about the candle stick
He used dynamite for the job
And wore clown shoes size 49 
And makeup to keep it real
And brought his favorite stilts
To make him taller and less conspicuous
Harder to identify in a line up

Strapping the ATM on his back was tricky
One stilt broke in the get away escape
We don't know why but we can speculate
Perhaps the weight ...or height..or cop chase
Navigating gets harder as you age

The ATM never saw it coming
Made it to hour 23 today they say
As Jack hobbles or hops away
One stilt and plenty of cash on hand
Aint life grand.......grand theft that is

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