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The conflict that I’ll never let you see Is one that rages here inside of me I face the day and smile away the pain Yet deep inside these doubts drive me insane I strive to show a strength I know I lack For none must know my soul’s under attack The monster is within and not without To end my life is what he’s all about My failures he recounts with vicious glee To prove that there is nothing good in me I shiver when I hear his venomed hiss That tells me I’ll not taste of heaven’s bliss He flays my sense of worth; I’m left to bleed I writhe in anguish, longing to be freed Each day, a battle’s fought inside my mind I wonder if I’ll find my peace of mind And so I fight these waves to reach the shore Where tempests of my fear will scream no more And yet my soul is sinking in despair If God exists, I wonder, does He care? A prayer bursts from my lips, a desperate plea “Oh God, you know this storm inside of me Reach out your hand and pull me from this wave Please intervene and save me from the grave!” A sweet and gentle calmness fills my soul As I let go and give Him full control I feel my soul revive and conflict cease For in my heart now reigns the Prince of Peace. Eileen Ghali
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