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master bait catching fear
some skipper known in whirled wide webbed 
     under water world, 
     cuz rumor did hear
auld his death defying exploits infiltrated 

     into the most remotely secluded lair
asper rugged crunchy captain 
     who didst dare 
the devil with dirty deeds 

     done dirt cheap, which flair 
subjected suffered gross distortion 
     due to optical glare
pandemonium ensued, sans each small hair
 
along backbone viz zit ting spinal tap vie 
tall hetty to rise 
     a flickr ring shutterfly  
more years than anyone could reckon, even Pi

Tha Gore Ass, hence 
     mystery fed legends, 
     any rhyme or reason asper 
     ruddy faced weather beaten 
     expert, who sailed every square inch 
     of the globe well nigh

cutting down to size mythologized 
     outrageous Leviathan sized monster 
     mashing machine with jaws of steel 
     that did wonders for the tourist industry the my
tee buck reared, snorted, twittered no lie

as truth told by Ishmael, 
     whom aye did befriend 
(said galley hand decked the halls, 
     of christened ship Pequod), 
     who strongly attest didst descend,
despite incontestable stance, 
     sans supposition,
     
     aye aver Captain Ahab 
     DID NOT perish at sea, 
     thus, his privateer life 
     did not meet a cruel end,
but believe his doppelganger incognito 
     body double electric reincarnation fiend

actually said peg legged swash
buckling adventurer of the high seas, 
     that saline mosh pit - by gosh
(hee...hee...hee 
     how blimey lame such archaic balderdash
 
(anyway...i gotta hunch), ghost 
     of spirited sailor lives incognito, 
     here at 2 highland manor 
     a this bucolic schwenksville, 
     pennsylvania enclave.

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