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while playboy hallucination at my male member does yank
key mud hood dill, where reality doth usually tank
with muss elf feeling prick 
   sans figurative or real shaft shank

   quite the opposite with wife acidly rank
she frequently pulls my hair as childish prank
knowing full well that action turns my mood sour as a crank
I would escape, but no money in the piggy bank.
 
Other times, her karma roars into tempest with rage
lashing out like a half-crazed maniac loosed upon global stage
on account of silent battles we regularly wage.
 
I admit my own fair share of peculiar traits
which only to private confidences t'will now relate
keep on the q-t lest spouse doth berate.
 
Chief among these oddities comprise
   lower gastrointestinal perturbations issuing from the ass
which prompt innumerable outbursts of gas
Ranging from quiet puff to a noisy, windy pass.
 
After usage of toilet with a bowel movement 
   large enough to sink a sub
wash rectal residue from my behind 
   with a hose attached to the tub.
 
This couple resembles Frankenstein 
   and his bride – argh what a pair
she taunts when i shower, clean the rest of my body including hair
dry follicles shaking head back & forth side-to-side through the air.
 
There you now know foibles and unusual personal ways
uttering that such antics how she plays
like netted in a one-man fraternity undergoing constant haze
pelting this poor soul with scraps of food, she flays
until these covered with thick pasty gloppy glaze as verboten entrees
Now laugh till you fall over and remain in stitches for days.

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