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neutrino - all messages by user

4/24/2012 10:50:21 PM
First one Hi guys. This is my first try at poem writing. I would appreciate as much critique and tips as possible. Also please note that English is not my native language so comments on grammar would be highly appreciated. Thanks!




Fall




As leaves were falling all around

And the gentle spirits of the fall awoke

I fell softly to the autumn ground,

As I lost my pretty Hope.




Alas Hope was really not her name,

But charming were those eyes of her.

Adventures brought me to her game,

Yet dreadful sins destroyed our flame.




But the leafy ground feels sweet,

As only silent heart-beat I can hear

And the velvet sky is all I see,

Only dreamy heights await me there.
4/26/2012 3:08:58 PM
First one Thanks a lot! I will surely fix these mistakes.
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