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11/6/2010 4:55:23 AM
Top o' the Morning
||Hi everyone at the P-Soup
I'm Craig (29) from England. I've put some of my Rhymes on this here site (Got some nice feedback) and I'm wondering what's next for me..
Are my rhymes descent enougth to publish somewhere? I'm working on being a Singer/Rapper/Comedian, I wanna perform in front of audiences. I'll be in a band soon (Meeting with them in a coupla days.. I'm confident that they'll like me) and have been practicing my free-style MC'ing (making up rhymes on the spot)
Anyone made it big out there using their lyrical skills? Gizza hint or two
Thanks to all at the P-Soup, Big Luv - Craig
11/6/2010 5:38:53 AM
Crit this! :D Plz
I take you by the hand, and lead you down to the bed,
'I love you baby', and you repeat the words I said,
I whisper in your ear, just what I'm gonna do,
Before this night is over, I'll make your dreams come true.
You didn't have to say it.. 'cause I already knew,
But I'll give you what you want for the trouble you've been through,
Oh my coo, coo, cha choo, forget stress as I caress you,
As I confess that you're the best! And it's just us two.
Time can fly.. I don't care. I can't wait,
I hate being without you, and just lately I feel great!
Now we're cuddled up together.. forever isn't long,
Our passions grow strong.. I love what we've got going on.
'Cause all day long I picture your face,
Your eyes and your body, I could never replace.
With our souls combined, we can sit back and unwind,
And take it one day at a time.
I'm.. dreading the day, when you finally leave,
I'm a realist, it's not about what I believe,
But I'll survive, I'll live.. I won't die,
And no one will ever see the quiet tears that I cry.
However, that's the future.. and this is the now,
Forget the past, if you want, I'll show you how.
So hold on tight Girl, and go with the flow,
You've got a 1st class ticket, VIP, enjoy the show!
I won't ever stop, I won't ever go,
You know it sometimes feels like my heart is gonna blow!
You're the one, the only, great love of my life,
It's just a shame it had to cut me.. like a double edged knife.
11/6/2010 5:49:02 AM
My Faith to Wash Away (critique please?)
||I like it, big religious under-tow to the whole thing.. is it love that's destroyed your faith? Reads that way. You wanna move forward without losing your past.. Nice.
It's kinda rushed at the end, I like the honest pleading to find that faith that you used to have.. I'd mention the fact that love and faith are always at odds (For me anyway) But you've hit the nail on the head with the fact that belief is what creates the beauty against these odds.
11/9/2010 3:51:22 AM
Hello fellow poets!
I've just joined here myself, the Hardcore poets I've seen here so far are superb It's a great place for inspiration also both soft and proper Critism.
I'm in the process of setting up a website .. I was blown away by your site! Great style, it's an online work of art. I pretty much only do Rhymes and lyrics, but after reading your stuff.. I might try some other styles.
Inspirational stuff mate, do the book! I'd take a look Goodluck for the future. in years to come you're gonna get even better. Behold the future..
Craig 'DeadHunter' Watson
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