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Home » High Critique » Our Wedding Day

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/11/2012 10:01:32 AM

sherry smith
Posts: 2
As I stand before you
And say the words "I do",
I give to you my heart, my soul
For they belong to you

We have been togather
Many days, you and I
And I know that we will make it
On this journey called life

So as our love we proclaim
Before God amd family
We will start our life as one
And togather we will always be

--
sherry smith
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3/17/2012 4:08:42 PM

David Smalling
Posts: 4
A great poem cannot be about the self, the self must only an analogy for the world ... this is the poem's universal appeal and not its title, which only can promise an argument in the mortal conversation about immortal anxieties. Best wishes, Sherry.
edited by dlsmalling on 3/17/2012
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3/17/2012 4:21:06 PM

David Smalling
Posts: 4
I stand before you now trying
To remember when we were one
"I do" wish what I wsas thinking
Was suddenly naked in the sun
Again. Love is a hide and seek
Game until we find what we are
I pray my thoughts does truly leak
Like my pores, for thoughts dare
My will not hide my soul again. I
Want to defy the odds love's history
To live with you for you until I die
At pundits, sage, and sin scoff and defy
I marry you to recover my place
Where your heart beats above my face.
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