For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/21/2011 5:21:09 PM
Allen Nuytens
Posts: 7
|
Please watch your words
Your not worthless
They just are mindless
self indulgent
Abercrombie zombies
and they can't carry
the thought of being truly
in love
and it should never matter
what sex your partner is
love is love
so don't doubt yourself
don't doubt your love
Just because someone
is simply envying
that fact that you love each other
more than they love themselves
because at the end of the day
nothing matters to you guys
but each other
and i hope your love
lasts forever
show them what love means
Who says
a man can't love a man
a woman can't love a woman
what makes it so wrong?
in a world where thousands
die of starvation
and resources are declining rapidly
should the love of two people
who happen to be the same sex
really be a issue?
all the diseases we need to cure
all the ships of peace
they need to sail
the constant threat of losing our homes
an everyday chore
and love
is the enemy?
this system
this rusty hate machine
of the liar's in the mad house ofcongress
will never have my vote
for I simply will never believe
that politicians they cheat on theirwives
should have the right
to say who can marry
and who can't
for they don't even understand
what marriage means
more like
what it should
mean
which is between
a lover and a lover
no matter who that lover is
for We hold these truths to beself-evident,
that all men are created equal
and that love is love
so let's stop the hatred
and let's truly be free
and break forth to
a hate-free horizon
|
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
12/21/2011 5:47:34 PM
Angelina Dickson
Posts: 2
|
Other than a few minor style things I would personally change, I read this and felt moved by what you were trying to convey. Very nice.
|
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
12/22/2011 12:58:11 PM
Tom Larrow
Posts: 4
|
Eloquently put, I personally think it's because of man's need to blame others to justify himself. I think the flow is good and the idea of a hate free horizon is great but, until man deals with his enemies within this will not come to pass.
seasons joy and kindness
--
Back to the farm to gather and tell stories of life, hope and inspiration.
|
|
• permalink
• reply with quote
|
Powered by AspNetForum
6.6.0.0
© 2006-2010 Jitbit Software