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Home » High Critique » Freed Spirit

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/17/2010 4:54:31 PM

Latisha Jacobson
Posts: 7
If I could make myself strong enough to stand firmly in front of the gun,
Do you love me enough to pull the trigger?
Releasing me.
Freeing my mind from this hell.
Captured behind my eyes.
Bleeding in disguise.
Freedom is worth dying for.
Life is worth being free.
I live in a world that confuses me.
I have the world on the surface for everyone to see.
Then shadowed by my mind, I have a world for only me.
Trapped behind my eyes, misery and lies, betrayal and lust,
laughter and pain.
Shatters of un comfort rage destroys the happiness of my reality.
Caught up in the raptured discomfort of what I've created.
Purity is lost, sanity is the cost.
Haunted by my childhood, the curse that lust invoked.
I feel it all around me, absorbing and consuming me.
Attempting escape, yet by my hand just a waste.
I want someone to believe me.
Stand here freely and have the sympathy to release me.
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5/18/2010 9:46:04 AM

Catie Lindsey
Posts: 77
a very emotional write. It reminds me of an old book/turned movie called 'They shoot horses, don't they' This is terribly sad, but your writing is in perfect order, I seen nothing that needs correction. Catie
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5/18/2010 10:21:13 AM

Michael Benkhen
Posts: 40
I agree with most everything in that poem...
People fought for every right we had...and it's worth fighting to protect them.

--
The land is littered with the graves of animals I never killed yet somehow mourn.
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