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Home » High Critique » Your words... I hate your words!!!

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/8/2011 1:16:59 AM

Not Me
Posts: 4
This is the 3rd poem i've ever written, just started. Pick it apart, good, bad and the ugly... plz! thx




listen to the words

of this reality

chirps from the birds

of my own sancity




i feel provoked

with them mocking

i don't feel stoked

but sit back rocking




i hate the feeling

the anger i encounter

so hard fought dealing

like an out of towner




i grit my teeth

and close my eyes

i am beneath

these white lies




they think they're smart

but seen right thru

a cold bloody heart

i'll make due




i'll show them honesty

you'll never see

what is untrusty

is you to me




again i think

of why they want this

but brought down to ink

is how it is




the only way to deal

of the hand i've been dealt

just hope to heal

this hell i've felt
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