For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/8/2011 1:16:59 AM
Desidean Rice
Posts: 4
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This is the 3rd poem i've ever written, just started. Pick it apart, good, bad and the ugly... plz! thx
listen to the words
of this reality
chirps from the birds
of my own sancity
i feel provoked
with them mocking
i don't feel stoked
but sit back rocking
i hate the feeling
the anger i encounter
so hard fought dealing
like an out of towner
i grit my teeth
and close my eyes
i am beneath
these white lies
they think they're smart
but seen right thru
a cold bloody heart
i'll make due
i'll show them honesty
you'll never see
what is untrusty
is you to me
again i think
of why they want this
but brought down to ink
is how it is
the only way to deal
of the hand i've been dealt
just hope to heal
this hell i've felt
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