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Just That Archaic Poet's Blog

About Just That Archaic Poet
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I've always wanted to title my "Bio", "Highlights of a Low-Life" and I'll be damned if I didn't Google that title and it has already been used by someone  else. Figures!

So, here's a bit about me: my name is Chan Hurst. I've been writing poetry,  short-stories, essays and memoirs for 25 years. My forte, though, is "Rhyme"  and I consider it to be the only "true" form of poetry. I know: quite a  debatable, controversial and fascist belief, but this is my fervent conviction,  for which I am unapologetic and shall never waver.

My greatest poetic  influences include Poe, Shelley, Keats and Dickinson. If you are looking for  "odes to nature" or "grandma" or some other mundane topic, I am definitely NOT  the poet to read. I write what's in my Soul, and stay true to my  aesthetic.

I'm 35, gay, partnered for the past 5 years and married in my  own mind and heart. I have 5 children: 2 dogs and 3 cats. I am physically and  mentally disabled, suffer from numerous mental illnesses, am an addict/alcoholic  who also suffers with chronic pain. I'm a highly opinionated introvert with a  staggering IQ (I'm not modest when it comes to intelligence). What you are about  to read now is a paper I wrote as an introduction about myself to my fellow  classmates in one of my many failed attempts at higher  education:

    I am of the opinion that unless you are  some kind of celebrity, no one wants to hear your life story.  Since I find  99.9% of the human race utterly uninteresting, I have no desire to hear about  your plights or triumphs so I don’t expect you to want to hear mine. I’m a  misanthropist, damn it. A jaded Cynic. Would you expect anything less?

 Ok, OK! You asked for it. You want to know so badly? Well, then, I’ll  tell you. I’m a self-professed geek. Yes, I acknowledge as much. It seems that  in today’s age, being a geek is much more chic and “in” than it used to be.  Thank goodness media expands our limits and perceptions of “coolness”. I mean,  hats off to such influences as “Big Bang Theory”, right? You remember all those  reasons you made fun of nerds and geeks in school? Yeah, well, apply them to me.  And may the Force be with you as you live long and prosper. Insert “smiley face”  emoticon.

 Now I will cryptically and enigmatically tell you how un-exactly deep  my well of coolness allegedly is. This will all sound pretty flakyy so feel free  to roll your eyes or LOL wherever you see fit.  Ok, you ready? Thought not,  but here we go anyway: I am that person, that friend of a friend of a friend,  who has seen and experienced the most indescribably incredible things your mind  can fathom on dark and stormy nights.  I’ve had the kind of close  encounters that those weird people on TV swear and attest are true. I’ve  underwent the kind of mind-blowing revelations that those levitating Tibetan  monks or jungle medicine men have probably known for eons. A hit of Timothy  Leary on the end of your tongue on a bright and sunny spring day brings the  universe and life into perspective. But so does walking in the Shoes of  Insanity!

 What else? Hmmmmm. Ok, well, like many of you, I’ve had a number of  adventures in my 34 years on earth. Like what? Patience, young Padawan; I’m  getting to that. For example: I lived overseas with the Kiwis for a time in New  Zealand. I’ve lived high on the hog, but also roamed skid row (but not with  Sebastian Bach). My fashionable myriad of mental maladies have shown me the  inside of The Cuckoo’s Nest on more than one occasion. I’ve nearly died more  times than I can attempt to count. I have climbed the heights of pure Nirvana  and suffered tragedy of the Shakespearean kind. I’ve had organs removed and a  toe amputated. Loved and lost; hated and gained. I’ve been locked up, tied down  and shot at. Just to name a few...    

 I mean, so I got kicked out of a private Christian school in the tenth  grade; hasn’t that happened to everyone? Is going to class on acid really that  big of a deal in the grand scheme of things? Does it really matter that I almost  killed an up and coming country music star back in the 90’s? Or that I used to  dabble in the occult and dress like Dracula? Why are you shaking your head at  me? Who are you, Saint Peter?

 Like most of you, I’ve had various careers over the years; everything  from the educator of your children (I know, someone did indeed drop the ball  when they hired me) and street pharmacist (the money was good!). Years ago, I  enjoyed being the night manager at a hotel (so what if I routinely fell asleep  and slept with the guests?). Once, I had the distinct displeasure of working for  UPS as a truck loader (if any of your packages got smashed or were lost, I  apologize). I’ve been a cashier one too many times (my bad if you got  short-changed). Flipped my share of burgers (what do you mean yours was “raw”?).  In 2006 I worked with the criminally insane (I know, right up my alley!) but  quit two weeks later after I was nearly choked to death. Yeah, I’ve done a  little of everything. What am I doing now you ask? Wouldn’t you like to  know!

Oh, lest I forget, can I get an “AMEN!” if you, too, have perpetrated  embarrassing acts that made your father wince and your mother cry? Can I get a  “HELL YEAH!” if you’ve partied too much and wound up in the slammer or  slept with someone who looked much better when you were drunk? Can I get a fist  bump from all my fellow “He-Whores” and “Jessebels”? No? What a bunch of prudish  pansies! Like I’m the only one who’s gotten too loaded and told everybody I  could play the bongos with my feet? Don’t act like you’ve never passed out in  public or urinated on the side of a church!

 Like everybody else, I could go on and on, yadda yadda yadda with some  blah blah blah, but I think you get the gist of it. I'm a weirdo; a freak and  geek, but damn proud of it. I am unconventional, controversial, unorthodox and  fascist. Hope that's not a problem for you lol.

 

 


Trouble-Makers!


Blog Posted:3/26/2014 11:19:00 AM
Just wanted to share some pics of my babies; they're trouble-makers for sure lol ;) <3

Bilbo when hims was just a puppy

Bilbo now :)


Sammy laughing it up and posing for the camera :)

Marley when he was just a kitten :)

My sweet baby Archie <3

And last but not least, my lil Punky Punk, the star of my avatar pics :)


Just wanted to share something positive and happy :)
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  1. Date: 4/2/2014 10:10:00 AM
    They are soooooo cute, Chan!!! ...I hoope to have a new babies soon... but it's not welcome for now in our house.. :'(( thanks for sharing this blog!!! ...you painted a big smile on my face today!! ...^_^

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  1. Date: 3/28/2014 5:27:00 PM
    Paints a smile.

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  1. Date: 3/28/2014 1:13:00 PM
    Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone :) ~Chan

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  1. Date: 3/27/2014 2:48:00 PM
    If you ever need a animal sitter just let me know......Roger

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  1. Date: 3/27/2014 10:45:00 AM
    They don't look as trouble makers... maybe Sammy. : D

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  1. Date: 3/27/2014 10:12:00 AM
    Cute family pics... Great choice for todays blog!

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  1. Date: 3/27/2014 9:48:00 AM
    Now these kind of trouble makers I don't mind seeing and hearing about at the soup. Thanks so much for sharing. Love, Carol

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 7:35:00 PM
    All beauties Archy, I'm right taken with Marley, I love black cats, reminds me of mine, though long gone now, did leave an indelible memory, quite literally by running over fresh laid concrete, I see those footprints even now and it raises a smile.

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 7:13:00 PM
    Ah, Chan, I can see a little of Dad in each face!

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 6:43:00 PM
    Hi Chan, :) They are all adorable!!! So cute. love and hugs, Catie :)

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 4:07:00 PM
    Chan Why do you want to make me jealous with your cute little "troublemakers". LOL Hugs and Love forever and always Sweet Pea

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 3:17:00 PM
    you have an adorable family

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 3:15:00 PM
    so cute. Love your blog. My Razzmatazz is a black cat too but I never got to see her as a little kitty.

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 3:01:00 PM
    Each one brought a smile !!

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 1:19:00 PM
    HOW SWEET! LOVELY! Thanks for sharing....That last pic of Bilbo...Like..."Ok...I'm in this...getup...hurry with that pic before I ......" Fill in the rest.

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 12:06:00 PM
    LOL HOW CUTE!!! Oh my goodness I'd never get to work; too many to play with!

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 11:45:00 AM
    OMG gorgeous!

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  1. Date: 3/26/2014 11:25:00 AM
    this really brings out the happy in me, c!... you must have a little zoo for all your cute pets, awhhh!... huggs

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My Past Blog Posts

 
What's So Phunny?
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 12:32:00 PM
In Out Up Down
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 1:11:00 AM
Salutations, my dear friends!
Date Posted: 8/9/2014 12:51:00 PM
Trouble-Makers!
Date Posted: 3/26/2014 11:19:00 AM
Through the Looking Glass
Date Posted: 3/21/2014 2:00:00 PM
I'm Ready for My Close Up, Mr. DeMille!!!!!
Date Posted: 3/18/2014 5:22:00 PM
Artpocalypse PentaStar
Date Posted: 3/3/2014 1:28:00 PM
So Mad I Can't See Straight!!!!! : Seeing Stars
Date Posted: 2/20/2014 11:35:00 AM
Inappropriate Laughter: A Series of Short but Embarrassing Memoirs
Date Posted: 2/17/2014 4:22:00 PM
New/Old Collage Art Piece :)
Date Posted: 2/12/2014 12:39:00 AM
More Pentagram/Optical Art
Date Posted: 2/8/2014 4:20:00 AM
You Wanna Know Something that Gets on My Nerves?
Date Posted: 2/3/2014 12:30:00 PM
Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward!
Date Posted: 1/28/2014 10:13:00 PM
Memoir: Crashing "Women's Studies"; Feminists, BEWARE! lol
Date Posted: 1/25/2014 1:42:00 PM
My Pentagram Art; let me know what you think! :) ~Chan
Date Posted: 1/16/2014 6:08:00 AM
THE KING AND MASTER OF POETRY!!!!! KNEEL!
Date Posted: 1/7/2014 12:20:00 PM
Click for a Surprise...!?
Date Posted: 12/31/2013 10:32:00 PM
Do We, As Artists, Have The Right to Change Our Work?
Date Posted: 12/23/2013 11:12:00 AM
Coming Clean
Date Posted: 12/17/2013 5:01:00 PM
Paper-Cup Porsche: Memoir from the Mental Ward
Date Posted: 12/3/2013 8:38:00 AM
Collage Art: Warning, May Be Offensive!
Date Posted: 12/1/2013 5:13:00 AM
More Visual Poetry: Collage Art
Date Posted: 11/25/2013 7:48:00 AM
IT'S A TRAP!!!!!
Date Posted: 11/20/2013 6:21:00 AM
UP IN SMOKE! VISUAL POETRY! IN YOUR FACE, BISHES!
Date Posted: 11/12/2013 5:14:00 AM
From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration?
Date Posted: 11/5/2013 4:54:00 PM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
8/9/2014Grey AreaRhymedark,truth,world,
8/9/2014The Plot ThickensRhymegod,judgement,life,truth,
8/9/2014GlossophobicLight Poetryfear,world,
8/9/2014Only God Knows and Time Will TellRhymechange,god,time,
4/3/2014Anti-PsychoticRhymepain,
3/22/2014Science FrictionRhymespace,stars,
3/21/2014An Exercise in VersatilityVersepoetry,self,
3/19/2014Pas de DeuxRhymelove,
3/18/2014Do Not Read and Operate Heavy Machinery or EquipmentRhymedream,heart,poems,
3/6/2014Inder the UnfluenceCoupletdrink,humor,wine,
2/20/2014PsychomanteumRhymeheart,spiritual,
2/19/2014RosettaI do not know?confusion,nonsense,
2/19/2014What's Weighing Heavy on My HeartRhymelost love,
2/17/2014She Sold Her Soul in a Bathroom MirrorRhymeevil,satire,woman,
2/12/2014The Last SonRhymeart,truth,winter,
2/11/2014What Gets On My NervesNarrativeanger,angst,how i feel,
2/10/2014Surgical BlueFree versehealth,me,satire,
2/8/2014Restless NativesSonnetboat,journey,ocean,
2/7/2014Casting CouchSonnetart,god,life,
2/5/2014Hemlock ValentineRhymedeath,fire,grave,heart,lo
2/4/2014Veracious Vainglorious Vivacious Vixen: Very Virtuous, Very ViciousRhymebeauty,woman,
2/1/2014I'm Gonna Need a TransplantRhymeabuse,addiction,drink,
1/31/2014Assault and PepperRhymehow i feel,
1/28/2014Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental WardNarrativecrazy,woman,
1/26/2014Nothing's NewRhymefun,morning,poems,sun,wom
1/25/2014Memoir: Crashing Women's Studies- Feminists, BEWARE lolNarrativeart,funny,poetry,social,w
1/25/2014Social ClimberRhymedeath,father,heaven,money
1/24/2014Rubicons and OubliettesRhymeemotions,feelings,
1/23/2014Water BrothersRhymebeauty,brother,death,wate
1/7/2014Poking the BeastRhymeanger,fire,violence,
1/6/2014Humble Pie, AnyoneProsehow i feel,introspection,
1/1/2014Room ServiceLyriclust,romance,sexy,
12/31/2013One-Trick-PonyRhyme 
12/18/2013The FoolRhymebaby,fun,horse,humorous,m
12/18/2013Coming CleanNarrativeanger,conflict,introspect
12/17/2013Perfectly TerribleRhymeanger,beautiful,conflict,
12/3/2013Paper-Cup Porsche: True Tale from the Mental WardNarrativeblack african american,cr
12/3/2013Gardens GreyRhymebeauty,celebrity,characte
12/2/2013Darth ExactitudeRhymecharacter,fantasy,star,wa
12/1/2013All We Have is HopeFree versecancer,conflict,hope,how
11/28/2013Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow FonderLight Poetryheart,how i feel,lonely,l
11/28/2013Twice the ChristRhymechristian,death,god,humor
11/21/2013I Think of You More Than You Think I DoLight Poetryheart,husband,i love you,
11/20/2013Love is a LieRhymegod,heart,love,love hurts
11/11/2013Have My Cake and Eat It, TooRhymecrazy,future,self,vanity,
11/6/2013Damage Control: An Apology PoemRhymeheart,poets,sorry,
11/5/2013From Great Pain Comes Great InspirationNarrativeanger,bereavement,best fr
11/5/2013Tug of WarRhymecrazy,pain,sorrow,war,
11/5/2013Believe It or NotRhymeanger,angst,god,lonely,lo
11/5/2013As God As My WitnessRhymeconfusion,dream,joy,life,
11/4/2013The Throne of Bone and StoneRhymedream,sad,sin,sleep,world
11/3/2013A Rational ExplanationRhymedeath,feelings,life,war,w
11/1/2013HorrorscopeRhymechange,self,space,stars,
10/30/2013Call Me Monday When I've Made My MillionsRhymedeath,heart,kiss,lost lov
10/29/2013An Ounce of PretentionRhymefuture,heart,
10/29/2013Burning ManRhymefire,grief,journey,sad,tr
10/28/2013I'll Have Another, and Keep'em Comin'Rhymeangst,drink,heart,poets,s
10/28/2013Glad-He-Ate-HerRhymeanger,violence,war,
10/27/2013Lazy ManRhymelove,self,
10/27/2013Escape ArtistRhymeheart,hope,lost love,poet
10/27/2013BlackoutRhymedeath,faith,life,sorrow,w
10/26/2013Around in CirclesRhymesleep,truth,
10/26/2013A Journey Through EternityRhymeanger,future,happiness,ho
10/23/2013Exercising My DemonsRhymeevil,heaven,religion,
10/23/2013Knock, KnockRhymecrazy,heart,self,song,sor
10/17/2013Damn You, EveRhymedance,heaven,innocence,lo
10/17/2013Romance the ChanceRhymebeauty,dance,hate,journey
10/17/2013The One Least LikelyRhymeemotions,sorrow,
10/17/2013Try as They MightRhymeart,people,poems,poetry,p
10/15/2013In the MeantimeRhymepain,
10/14/2013It's Hard to be a Rhymer in a Free-Verse WorldRhymeart,poetry,
10/14/2013A God Among MenRhymebody,heart,men,sky,
10/12/2013You Love Me More Than You Love YourselfLight Poetrychildren,grave,love,my ch
10/12/2013Spreading the SeedRhymedesire,fun,lust,sexy,
10/12/2013Burying the HatchetRhymegrief,pain,time,today,
10/11/2013What Would You Take Contest EntryNarrativefriend,husband,lost,music
10/11/2013Run for Your Lives--Them's Fightin' WordsRhymeconflict,fear,friend,pain
10/11/2013I'll Drink to ThatRhymeaddiction,drink,marriage,
10/10/2013Angel in Your Eyes Contest EntryRhymeangel,
10/10/2013Why Can't I Be Young, Rich and ThinNarrativeart,beauty,desire,imagina
10/8/2013Take Two and Call Me in the MorningRhymeangst,sick,
10/7/2013Twenty-Below ZeroRhymetime,trust,
10/5/2013You and I and I and YouFree verseanger,beautiful,corruptio
10/4/2013Leave a Message After the BeepFree verseabsence,dark,death,drink,
10/3/2013Delusions of Grandeur- Bon VoyageRhymejourney,stars,time,world,
10/3/2013The Verdict Is InRhymeevil,time,violence,
10/3/2013Alone with My ThoughtsRhymecolor,death,pain,truth,
10/2/2013PHARM FreshRhymeaddiction,love,
9/29/2013A Happy EndingRhymehappiness,life,love,pain,
9/29/2013No Assembly RequiredLight Poetrydeath,flying,travel,
9/29/2013Come Out, Come Out- Wherever You AreRhymelost,pain,peace,sleep,
9/26/2013Playing with FireRhymeanger,fire,heart,violence
9/26/2013Strange BathfellowsRhymebooks,humorous,insect,
9/25/2013I'll Gladly Pay You TuesdayLight Poetryfood,money,
9/25/2013Meet Me HalfwayRhymelost love,violence,
9/25/2013Thank You Lord, AmenRhymeevil,god,sick,sorrow,time
9/25/2013To Make Matters WorseRhymedeath,dream,friend,love,s
9/24/2013The Truth Isn't Always KindRhymelife,truth,
9/24/2013Hammer to a Concrete HeartRhymefear,heart,writing,
9/23/2013Life is Sweet in Honey-HivesRhymeflower,life,sweet,

My Photos


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Fav Poems

Poem TitleFormCategories
The King of SanctimoniousRhymehumorous,metaphor,
I Think of YouRhymefriendship,loss,
A Beautiful LoveFree verselove,relationship,
Death Will Not Come For MeRhymedeath,evil,life,magic,
Leonardo DiCaprioRhymecelebrity,film,for him,ho
ALCOHOLFree verseaddiction,
Chaff vs Wheat - ReliefRhymeangst,goodbye,lost love,r
Fate's OccasionIambic Pentameterbeautiful,beauty,emotions
Heaven For A PoetRhymedream,fantasy,heaven,insp
NevermoreRhymehorror,poetry,tribute,wri
The Dead Of WinterQuatraindark,death,lonely,winter,
Oh Love, Fair LoveRhymeloss,lost love,lovelife,l
William part 2Balladeblack african american,gr
Bending BackwardBallad 
Popcorn MusicRhyme 
Rhyme MasterCouplet 
The Horde's PrayerVerseangel,
Come Sit by My SideTail-rhymefor her,marriage,moving o
DreamingCouplethumor,humorous,poets,
Let my heart be your pillowRhymebeauty,
The Other SideRhymeabsence,allegory,analogy,
Shocks Of Electrifying EmotionRhymelove,romantic,
A Dedication To The ManRhymededication,friendship,
EdinburghFree versededication,hope,life,love
A Stone in the ColdSonnetpassion,
In SearchFree versebeautiful,bible,god,
DUFFY DEANRhymecat,
Stalking The Stalker: Peter Pan CanFree versedark,
Pirates CoveRhymefunny,humorous,poetry,sea

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
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Danesh Morgan Singapore Flag Singapore Read
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Mustapha Mohammed Trinidad and Tobago Flag Trinidad and Tobago Read
Joseph Matose Zimbabwe Flag Zimbabwe Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Mark Peterson United States Flag United States Read
robin davis United States Flag United States Read
Laura Breidenthal United States Flag United States Read
Sophia Valentina United States Flag United States Read
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Rick Richardson United States Flag United States Read