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Just That Archaic Poet's Blog

About Just That Archaic Poet
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I've always wanted to title my "Bio", "Highlights of a Low-Life" and I'll be damned if I didn't Google that title and it has already been used by someone  else. Figures!

So, here's a bit about me: my name is Chan Hurst. I've been writing poetry,  short-stories, essays and memoirs for 25 years. My forte, though, is "Rhyme"  and I consider it to be the only "true" form of poetry. I know: quite a  debatable, controversial and fascist belief, but this is my fervent conviction,  for which I am unapologetic and shall never waver.

My greatest poetic  influences include Poe, Shelley, Keats and Dickinson. If you are looking for  "odes to nature" or "grandma" or some other mundane topic, I am definitely NOT  the poet to read. I write what's in my Soul, and stay true to my  aesthetic.

I'm 35, gay, partnered for the past 5 years and married in my  own mind and heart. I have 5 children: 2 dogs and 3 cats. I am physically and  mentally disabled, suffer from numerous mental illnesses, am an addict/alcoholic  who also suffers with chronic pain. I'm a highly opinionated introvert with a  staggering IQ (I'm not modest when it comes to intelligence). What you are about  to read now is a paper I wrote as an introduction about myself to my fellow  classmates in one of my many failed attempts at higher  education:

    I am of the opinion that unless you are  some kind of celebrity, no one wants to hear your life story.  Since I find  99.9% of the human race utterly uninteresting, I have no desire to hear about  your plights or triumphs so I don’t expect you to want to hear mine. I’m a  misanthropist, damn it. A jaded Cynic. Would you expect anything less?

 Ok, OK! You asked for it. You want to know so badly? Well, then, I’ll  tell you. I’m a self-professed geek. Yes, I acknowledge as much. It seems that  in today’s age, being a geek is much more chic and “in” than it used to be.  Thank goodness media expands our limits and perceptions of “coolness”. I mean,  hats off to such influences as “Big Bang Theory”, right? You remember all those  reasons you made fun of nerds and geeks in school? Yeah, well, apply them to me.  And may the Force be with you as you live long and prosper. Insert “smiley face”  emoticon.

 Now I will cryptically and enigmatically tell you how un-exactly deep  my well of coolness allegedly is. This will all sound pretty flakyy so feel free  to roll your eyes or LOL wherever you see fit.  Ok, you ready? Thought not,  but here we go anyway: I am that person, that friend of a friend of a friend,  who has seen and experienced the most indescribably incredible things your mind  can fathom on dark and stormy nights.  I’ve had the kind of close  encounters that those weird people on TV swear and attest are true. I’ve  underwent the kind of mind-blowing revelations that those levitating Tibetan  monks or jungle medicine men have probably known for eons. A hit of Timothy  Leary on the end of your tongue on a bright and sunny spring day brings the  universe and life into perspective. But so does walking in the Shoes of  Insanity!

 What else? Hmmmmm. Ok, well, like many of you, I’ve had a number of  adventures in my 34 years on earth. Like what? Patience, young Padawan; I’m  getting to that. For example: I lived overseas with the Kiwis for a time in New  Zealand. I’ve lived high on the hog, but also roamed skid row (but not with  Sebastian Bach). My fashionable myriad of mental maladies have shown me the  inside of The Cuckoo’s Nest on more than one occasion. I’ve nearly died more  times than I can attempt to count. I have climbed the heights of pure Nirvana  and suffered tragedy of the Shakespearean kind. I’ve had organs removed and a  toe amputated. Loved and lost; hated and gained. I’ve been locked up, tied down  and shot at. Just to name a few...    

 I mean, so I got kicked out of a private Christian school in the tenth  grade; hasn’t that happened to everyone? Is going to class on acid really that  big of a deal in the grand scheme of things? Does it really matter that I almost  killed an up and coming country music star back in the 90’s? Or that I used to  dabble in the occult and dress like Dracula? Why are you shaking your head at  me? Who are you, Saint Peter?

 Like most of you, I’ve had various careers over the years; everything  from the educator of your children (I know, someone did indeed drop the ball  when they hired me) and street pharmacist (the money was good!). Years ago, I  enjoyed being the night manager at a hotel (so what if I routinely fell asleep  and slept with the guests?). Once, I had the distinct displeasure of working for  UPS as a truck loader (if any of your packages got smashed or were lost, I  apologize). I’ve been a cashier one too many times (my bad if you got  short-changed). Flipped my share of burgers (what do you mean yours was “raw”?).  In 2006 I worked with the criminally insane (I know, right up my alley!) but  quit two weeks later after I was nearly choked to death. Yeah, I’ve done a  little of everything. What am I doing now you ask? Wouldn’t you like to  know!

Oh, lest I forget, can I get an “AMEN!” if you, too, have perpetrated  embarrassing acts that made your father wince and your mother cry? Can I get a  “HELL YEAH!” if you’ve partied too much and wound up in the slammer or  slept with someone who looked much better when you were drunk? Can I get a fist  bump from all my fellow “He-Whores” and “Jessebels”? No? What a bunch of prudish  pansies! Like I’m the only one who’s gotten too loaded and told everybody I  could play the bongos with my feet? Don’t act like you’ve never passed out in  public or urinated on the side of a church!

 Like everybody else, I could go on and on, yadda yadda yadda with some  blah blah blah, but I think you get the gist of it. I'm a weirdo; a freak and  geek, but damn proud of it. I am unconventional, controversial, unorthodox and  fascist. Hope that's not a problem for you lol.

 

 


You Wanna Know Something that Gets on My Nerves?


Blog Posted:2/3/2014 12:30:00 PM
This is totally off topic and perhaps more than a little random, but you wanna know what gets on my nerves? Yeah, I know, besides that, though! This concept of "Celebrity Stylists"; I mean, seriously, WTF? You're how old, exactly, and you NEED someone to dress you? I don't know about you guys, but I haven't had a stylist since my mom stopped picking out my clothes for me in grade school. It's kinda pitiful that these people seemingly cannot dress themselves lol.

In high school, my style was "grunge" (hey, it was the 90's; Nirvana, Kurt Cobain and the whole Seattle music scene was a major influence over my developing brain.) Weather permitting, I always wore my tattered grey cardigan sweater with the big "smiley face" button fastened en lieu of a brooch. Later I added a black pentagram. My backpack was adorned with many different odd buttons and patches, my most notorious one being the "Satan is a lesbian" sticker that I hot-glued right beside my "Question Authority" button. That one really got people riled up, but I never got in trouble for it, weirdly enough. Then I discovered Marilyn Manson and quickly became a grungy "Goth" hybrid. I had my style down pat: I made the whole "just crawled out from a cemetery" carrying a vintage metal "Care Bears" lunchbox motif work and look chic (shut up, Jill, lest we forget the "tassel" incident!)

Having a huge collection of band t-shirts to select from (some quite shocking and offensive; kids would NEVER get away with this today, sadly) in addition to many chains on my wallet and gaudy macabre jewelry, I was your quintessential angst-ridden teenager with an outlandish fashion sense. My parents, naturally, HATED it, especially when I dyed my hair pink or purple; that really tore them up! I cut up some of mom's black panty-hose, making sure they were full of runs and tears, attaching them with safety pins to my t-shirt and making sure to cut out finger holes. My peers gave me hell, but I was undaunted. Luckily I found a fake lip ring to add to the overall effect. If you look through my pics, you'll see one of me from high school, sporting a "Beware of God" shirt, with my long hair and dog collar. Ah, what fond memories! My classmates may have ridiculed me mercilessly, but no one ever laid a finger on me; they were too frightened lol. I also wore this formidable silver claw ring which looked like it could take out an eyeball. Not long after that, I went through a "glam" phase, but we best not talk about that!

So basically I think this notion of celebrities needing stylists is ridiculous. That tells me they never had their own unique style to begin with, and need outside support to maintain some kind of specific "look".

You know what my "look" is now? One word: COMFORT! Pajama or track pants, nice, plain t-shirts. No more combat boots; just simple ol' Nike's or sandals/flip-flops. Besides, you can't get away with that when you're almost 35; it just looks sad and desperate. I've already done the whole "shock value" thing; now, I just choose to blend in with the rest of the sheep. It's not titillating anymore to be stared at in scorn, bafflement and contempt; you know what I mean, Vern? ;)
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  1. Date: 2/5/2014 2:49:00 AM
    I went to high school in uniform, how boring. I had a mullet, then put the back of it in a hair tie. Oh I wish I still had that much hair... See you when my tans darker, glad the Tweet worked.

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    thirtyseven Avatar scott thirtyseven Date: 2/5/2014 3:42:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Always a pleasure.
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/5/2014 3:41:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    When I lived in New Zealand, I noticed all the kids wore uniforms and I got asked many times whether American schools and teenagers were really like as depicted in movies and they very much are. Thanks for the tweets, Scott :)
  1. Date: 2/4/2014 5:02:00 PM
    In your own words, "you be like a sack of russet potatoes with earrings!" 8/20/2009 8:40 p.m.

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/4/2014 6:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    THAT'S what I said to you, you jaundiced albino! lol Go get you another spray tan xD You still too skurrrrred to wear that Jackie O. dress! Did you keep your rhinoplasty appt.? LOL!
  1. Date: 2/4/2014 4:27:00 PM
    Out of curiosity, how did you guys dress in middle/high school? Any other grungy goths out there? In middle school I dressed really "preppy" (sends shivers down my spine now lol.) Any other fashion mavericks wanna come forward? ~Chan

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 12:06:00 PM
    Lol...I'm with ya , Chan. Fashion is not a stong area of mine...haha..But maybe more than I think...camo is IN right now isn't it?

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/4/2014 12:51:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    *reading lol
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/4/2014 12:50:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Camo is in if you say or think it is. Nevermind "trends". Be true to your own style aesthetic, Caleb :) Thanks for readinf and sharing your thoughts, my friend!
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 10:22:00 PM
    In my family, you can wear yer jammies on XMAS...it's a long day, dedicated to family...Grandpa started the tradition 60 yrs ago....I git my jammies @ Duluth Trading Co. They got cargo pockets! so I can carry my pocket knife to assist with gift-ribbon cutting! Jimbo

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/4/2014 10:17:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ours is the same way, Jimbo; we all stay in our jammies for Christmas, too. Thanks for the read and comment, bud :)
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 7:07:00 PM
    Fun blog, my friend. My son never has forgiven me for making him sometimes wear clothes from the thrift shop, but I don't believe in buying into the consumer mentality of "get what is in fashion." I am still wearing some of the things I bought 14 years ago!! The ones that still fit me anyway. I like comfort around the house, but at the school where I work, I often dress up very nicely, and I am known as a person who coordinates well. I have many earrings, etc that I enjoy matching up with my outfits. But I only buy discount clothing and sometimes I still visit thrift shops. It was a big hobby of mine in the 80's! It's funny how you scared the students in HS. Good way to keep the bullies away

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/4/2014 10:20:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Some of my favorite clothes have come from thrift shops; you can sometimes find awesome stuff. I have no qualms whatsoever about buying clothes from Goodwill or the Salvation Army. It was "cool" when I was a teen to be a thrift store shopper. Thanks for reading and commenting, Andrea :)
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 3:45:00 PM
    cute blog, had me laughing

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 4:00:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, Francine :)
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 3:22:00 PM
    Liar! You'd DIE to have a stylist! ...as would I. Good thing you called yourself out in the last paragraph or I would have.

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    Thomas Avatar F. J. Thomas Date: 2/5/2014 7:10:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yeeaaa....imma take your word on that one C. ;)
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/4/2014 10:22:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    lol Luckily I never made it through the front doors with the black lipstick on; it made my lips look HUGE!! During my "glam" phase, I wore gold and silver lipstick which was a far better fit ;)
    Thomas Avatar F. J. Thomas Date: 2/3/2014 4:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Guess you decided to steal her thunder and tell us first?? lol It does NOT surprise me that you pulled that Chan!!
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 4:02:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    We are best frenemies lol, FJ. She came to school in a cow girl ensemble, complete with cowboy boots and a shirt covered in tassels xD Now, she's gonna bring up the time I tried to wear black lipstick; just watch! ;)
    Thomas Avatar F. J. Thomas Date: 2/3/2014 3:38:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    You know, Chan, when you make a statement like "Don't make me tell the masses about the tassels!".... ya kinda told the masses about the tassels!! lol You two are either related or must be close friends!! lol
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 3:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I don't need a stylist! Maybe you do (given your atrocious wardrobe!) but if I wanted to look dapper, I wouldn't need help. You had a distinct fashion style, once upon a time. Now it's lumberjack or those aWWWful Betty Page dresses! Don't make me tell the masses about the tassels!
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 2:11:00 PM
    LOL the bad thing is they all have stylists and half of them still make it one the worst dressed list! Which generally means they probably did pretty good; saying that because when I see what makes the best dressed I want to walk up to the stylist, hand them the glasses they apparently need so desperately, then slap them on the back of the head for putting someone in that!! LOL

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 3:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I just think it's sad they need so much help. People with real style don't need help (or at least I don't think so.) Just can't imagine being an adult and depending on someone else to dress me lol
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 1:10:00 PM
    I'm here, ain't I? :) In answer to your question....I read blogs...I don't always comment. Chan...these celebs are in the SPOTLIGHT 24/7. They even make it on WORST DRESSED LISTS. Those are the ones who probably DIDN'T have a stylist. HA HA! I'd LOVE to have a stylist....Of course....if it TOTALLY makes me feel yucky...I wouldn't wear it, but...always good to have the EXPERTS when you are in the public eye. ELIE SAAB...My fav designer...so...yea. Anything by that man...superb. Having said that...Love the fact that you were secure in yourself to wear what you wanted. My favorite...REBELLIOUS piece...A t-shirt with the words TROUBLE MAKER splashed across the front. Yea! Made me feel ...naughty!

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    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 1:35:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I'm 35 going on 65, physically and mentally lol. Too old to be young, too young to be old! ;)
    Manassian Avatar Eileen Manassian Date: 2/3/2014 1:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Whatever makes you happy, my dear! :) OLD AGE indeed. That makes me a dinosaur at 46....I forgive you! ;)
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 1:21:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    lol Thanks, Eileen. You're right; I would definitely have some men's Versace and Comme des Garcons in my closet, but I'd rather be comfortable these days in my old age. I'm also a tightwad; I could never spend thousands on jewelry or a wardrobe; just a few select pieces would be sufficient, I think. I'll always be a Wal-Mart and Goodwill kinda guy, though ;)
    Manassian Avatar Eileen Manassian Date: 2/3/2014 1:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    HA HA HA HA!!! NO YOU WOULDN'T...You'd get all those designer clothes and wear them in STYLE! I'd flaunt them!!!! :) Why NOT???? Vivienne Westwood is a bit....LOUD for me, but...very creative. Lovely blog..I really enjoyed this!
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 1:14:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    *Comme Des Garcons, I meant ;)
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 1:13:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Oh, don't get me wrong: I LOVE fashion! I mean, L-O-V-E it! I wish I could be a designer. I love Versace, Missoni, Commes des Garcons, Vivienne Westwood (just to name a few), but I think I could pick out what looks good on me without assistance. I'm really making a big joke here. Even if I was rich and famous, I think I'd still shop at Wal-Mart LOL!
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 12:54:00 PM
    Lighten up and have a laugh with me, peeps. No reason to be uptight. Tell me YOUR pet peeves; we shall compare notes! People who don't use their blinkers while driving make me crazy lol ;)

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    Thomas Avatar F. J. Thomas Date: 2/3/2014 4:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    OMGoodness Chan you did not!!! Oh well, you just beat me to it!
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 2/3/2014 3:32:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Your camel toe aggravates me xD LOL!
    Valentina Avatar Sophia Valentina Date: 2/3/2014 3:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    cold deodorant unruly children people wearing pajamas in public panty lines coffee breath...

My Past Blog Posts

 
What's So Phunny?
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 12:32:00 PM
In Out Up Down
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 1:11:00 AM
Salutations, my dear friends!
Date Posted: 8/9/2014 12:51:00 PM
Trouble-Makers!
Date Posted: 3/26/2014 11:19:00 AM
Through the Looking Glass
Date Posted: 3/21/2014 2:00:00 PM
I'm Ready for My Close Up, Mr. DeMille!!!!!
Date Posted: 3/18/2014 5:22:00 PM
Artpocalypse PentaStar
Date Posted: 3/3/2014 1:28:00 PM
So Mad I Can't See Straight!!!!! : Seeing Stars
Date Posted: 2/20/2014 11:35:00 AM
Inappropriate Laughter: A Series of Short but Embarrassing Memoirs
Date Posted: 2/17/2014 4:22:00 PM
New/Old Collage Art Piece :)
Date Posted: 2/12/2014 12:39:00 AM
More Pentagram/Optical Art
Date Posted: 2/8/2014 4:20:00 AM
You Wanna Know Something that Gets on My Nerves?
Date Posted: 2/3/2014 12:30:00 PM
Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward!
Date Posted: 1/28/2014 10:13:00 PM
Memoir: Crashing "Women's Studies"; Feminists, BEWARE! lol
Date Posted: 1/25/2014 1:42:00 PM
My Pentagram Art; let me know what you think! :) ~Chan
Date Posted: 1/16/2014 6:08:00 AM
THE KING AND MASTER OF POETRY!!!!! KNEEL!
Date Posted: 1/7/2014 12:20:00 PM
Click for a Surprise...!?
Date Posted: 12/31/2013 10:32:00 PM
Do We, As Artists, Have The Right to Change Our Work?
Date Posted: 12/23/2013 11:12:00 AM
Coming Clean
Date Posted: 12/17/2013 5:01:00 PM
Paper-Cup Porsche: Memoir from the Mental Ward
Date Posted: 12/3/2013 8:38:00 AM
Collage Art: Warning, May Be Offensive!
Date Posted: 12/1/2013 5:13:00 AM
More Visual Poetry: Collage Art
Date Posted: 11/25/2013 7:48:00 AM
IT'S A TRAP!!!!!
Date Posted: 11/20/2013 6:21:00 AM
UP IN SMOKE! VISUAL POETRY! IN YOUR FACE, BISHES!
Date Posted: 11/12/2013 5:14:00 AM
From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration?
Date Posted: 11/5/2013 4:54:00 PM

My Poems

12345678
Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
8/9/2014Grey AreaRhymedark,truth,world,
8/9/2014The Plot ThickensRhymegod,judgement,life,truth,
8/9/2014GlossophobicLight Poetryfear,world,
8/9/2014Only God Knows and Time Will TellRhymechange,god,time,
4/3/2014Anti-PsychoticRhymepain,
3/22/2014Science FrictionRhymespace,stars,
3/21/2014An Exercise in VersatilityVersepoetry,self,
3/19/2014Pas de DeuxRhymelove,
3/18/2014Do Not Read and Operate Heavy Machinery or EquipmentRhymedream,heart,poems,
3/6/2014Inder the UnfluenceCoupletdrink,humor,wine,
2/20/2014PsychomanteumRhymeheart,spiritual,
2/19/2014RosettaI do not know?confusion,nonsense,
2/19/2014What's Weighing Heavy on My HeartRhymelost love,
2/17/2014She Sold Her Soul in a Bathroom MirrorRhymeevil,satire,woman,
2/12/2014The Last SonRhymeart,truth,winter,
2/11/2014What Gets On My NervesNarrativeanger,angst,how i feel,
2/10/2014Surgical BlueFree versehealth,me,satire,
2/8/2014Restless NativesSonnetboat,journey,ocean,
2/7/2014Casting CouchSonnetart,god,life,
2/5/2014Hemlock ValentineRhymedeath,fire,grave,heart,lo
2/4/2014Veracious Vainglorious Vivacious Vixen: Very Virtuous, Very ViciousRhymebeauty,woman,
2/1/2014I'm Gonna Need a TransplantRhymeabuse,addiction,drink,
1/31/2014Assault and PepperRhymehow i feel,
1/28/2014Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental WardNarrativecrazy,woman,
1/26/2014Nothing's NewRhymefun,morning,poems,sun,wom
12345678

My Photos


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Fav Poems

12
Poem TitleFormCategories
The King of SanctimoniousRhymehumorous,metaphor,
I Think of YouRhymefriendship,loss,
A Beautiful LoveFree verselove,relationship,
Death Will Not Come For MeRhymedeath,evil,life,magic,
Leonardo DiCaprioRhymecelebrity,film,for him,ho
ALCOHOLFree verseaddiction,
Chaff vs Wheat - ReliefRhymeangst,goodbye,lost love,r
Fate's OccasionIambic Pentameterbeautiful,beauty,emotions
Heaven For A PoetRhymedream,fantasy,heaven,insp
NevermoreRhymehorror,poetry,tribute,wri
The Dead Of WinterQuatraindark,death,lonely,winter,
Oh Love, Fair LoveRhymeloss,lost love,lovelife,l
William part 2Balladeblack african american,gr
Bending BackwardBallad 
Popcorn MusicRhyme 
Rhyme MasterCouplet 
The Horde's PrayerVerseangel,
Come Sit by My SideTail-rhymefor her,marriage,moving o
DreamingCouplethumor,humorous,poets,
The Other SideRhymeabsence,allegory,analogy,
Let my heart be your pillowRhymebeauty,
Shocks Of Electrifying EmotionRhymelove,romantic,
A Dedication To The ManRhymededication,friendship,
EdinburghFree versededication,hope,life,love
A Stone in the ColdSonnetpassion,
12

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Karen Anglesey United States Flag United States Read
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Richard Lamoureux Canada Flag Canada Read
Danesh Morgan Singapore Flag Singapore Read
Kelly Deschler United States Flag United States Read
Mustapha Mohammed Trinidad and Tobago Flag Trinidad and Tobago Read
Joseph Matose Zimbabwe Flag Zimbabwe Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Mark Peterson United States Flag United States Read
robin davis United States Flag United States Read
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