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Roy Jerden's Blog

About Roy Jerden
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I starting writing poetry again in 2012 after a 50 year hiatus.

Born and raised in West Texas, I lived all over the area as a child until my mother remarried, as my father was in the oil drilling business, which required constant moving. I grew up in San Angelo, home of Fort Concho and the Buffalo Soldiers, but spent quite a few summers working on my grandpa's farm in the Texas Hill Country.

I met my wife Toni while I was stationed at Aviano AFB, Italy. I learned to speak Italian fluently and we still speak it at home interchangeably with English. My three sons, all born in Italy after I got out of the USAF, also speak Italian.

We moved back to the USA in 1972 and settled in Missouri, where I went back to school.

We moved to Atlanta in 1988, when Toni relocated here with AT&T. I got a job with McKesson (then HBOC) working with medical information systems, which started my career in this field. I had a natural talent for application design and parlayed this talent into a great R&D management position with an internet startup.

We are now retired. We spend time traveling the world and visiting our grandchildren in CA and NC. We also spend some time in Italy almost every year visiting and traveling with friends in Europe as we have a small apartment there in Sacile near Aviano, not far from Venice.

My other passions are mushroom hunting (the edible kind), gourmet cooking and bread baking.

Malapropisms and Mondegreens Contest Judged

Blog Posted:7/19/2013 2:39:00 PM
Malapropisms and Mondegreens 
Contest Judged:  7/19/2013 12:00:00 AM
Information About the Contest
Sponsored by: Roy Jerden

Well, I took more time than Craig to get these results back, but I was still jet-lagged coming back from Paris. We were there for a week and got to celebrate Be Still Day and the French Revelation, saw the Eyefull Tower, the Louver and Moan Elisa, Versay, and took a crews on the Sane. My wife ate some ex-cargo, I had a knees wash salad and we all had real French Fries which they call palm fritz.

If I ever do a contest like this again, I'll loosen up the requirements and include homonyms and the like. Only one contestant actually used any mondegreens, but hopefully more people now know what one is (for all intensive purposes). Ideally, the best malapropisms or mondegreens are transparent and don't require an explanation, but it's tough when you are constricted by meter and rhyme.
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  1. Date: 7/22/2013 11:46:00 AM
    Just came home from a weekend away, and see my poem actually made it in spite of the most outrageous verses!!! Thank you for "getting" my efforts, Roy!! I'm not sure most even knew what the heck I was saying! (neither did I !! ) LOL !!! But thank you very much. What a fun challenge !! Congratulations to all the warped minds who are able to do this..!!!!!

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 8:57:00 PM
    I surly do soap that no one is defended by these comets...

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 7:55:00 PM
    wow! I think Tim's gone crazy... LOL :-)

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    Ryerson Avatar Tim Ryerson Date: 7/21/2013 8:19:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    You lot THAT light, Brenda! You letter relieve it...I'm lazy like a box!
  1. Date: 7/21/2013 7:13:00 PM
    Please do not read this comment

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 7:05:00 PM
    And Abdulafeez!...What can I not say?...I'm speechlessly...Great humorless on replay here!

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 7:01:00 PM
    Wow Tim!...This is the best one I've read so far...

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 7:00:00 PM
    More! More! More! Hea-THER! Hea-THER! (whistles, applause)

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 6:58:00 PM
    Even MORE congratulations, Carrie

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 6:57:00 PM
    More congratulations Mandy!

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 6:55:00 PM
    Many congrats Constance!

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 6:54:00 PM
    Congrats Suzette!

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  1. Date: 7/21/2013 6:53:00 PM
    Only three comments? This was a unique and challanging contest Roy and only three comments? Hmmm...Forgive me Roy but I just can't resist...

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  1. Date: 7/20/2013 4:14:00 AM
    Near Toy - I am so thankless that you secluded my poet on your sinner's list...Configurations to all the other dinners two

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  1. Date: 7/20/2013 12:07:00 AM
    Thanks for my place Roy it was a tough one xx

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  1. Date: 7/19/2013 9:02:00 PM
    Thank you for a very fun contest, Roy. It brought back many happy memories of days when we tried to copy the lyrics of songs on seven singles (75's). English being my second language and being slightly dyslexic, made for some hilarious interpretations. This contest came naturally to me and I am pleased by the honoured bestowed upon me. In your next contest, you might consider including spoonerisms - it could be fun. I would like to draw everyone's attention to the hilarious comments left by our very esteemed Rim Tyson (Tim). Regards, Su

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My Past Blog Posts

Cowboys in the Badlands Part 2 - Roy Jerden
Date Posted: 9/21/2014 7:30:00 PM
Cowboys in the Badlands Part 1 - Roy Jerden
Date Posted: 9/19/2014 10:32:00 PM
The Pedicure Virgin - Roy Jerden
Date Posted: 9/11/2014 8:19:00 PM
How to make an image out of a long poem
Date Posted: 9/3/2014 12:58:00 PM
How to do a scansion of your poem to verify the meter
Date Posted: 8/19/2014 6:03:00 PM
Too Subtle?
Date Posted: 8/15/2014 1:39:00 PM
New Feature -Poet's Notes About the Poem
Date Posted: 8/2/2014 12:31:00 PM
Free Verse: Start here or finish here
Date Posted: 7/21/2014 7:04:00 PM
Bogus Entries in Contests
Date Posted: 7/19/2014 6:46:00 AM
Punctuation and Capitalization in Poetry
Date Posted: 7/18/2014 6:35:00 PM
About Poem/Poem Notes/Inspiration, etc.
Date Posted: 7/18/2014 8:17:00 AM
Bawdy Limericks II Judged
Date Posted: 7/6/2014 2:48:00 PM
To Footnote or Not to Footnote?
Date Posted: 7/3/2014 8:47:00 PM
User trying to set a password
Date Posted: 6/24/2014 10:01:00 PM
Centering, Bolding, and Italicizing in a Poem
Date Posted: 6/9/2014 9:51:00 PM
Bawdy Limerick Contest Complete
Date Posted: 6/7/2014 4:38:00 PM
Limerick Contest Update - Last chance
Date Posted: 5/27/2014 5:31:00 PM
Bonnie Parker's Poetry
Date Posted: 5/24/2014 2:48:00 PM
Limerick Contest Update
Date Posted: 5/22/2014 2:48:00 PM
Kudos on the Miltonic Sonnet Contest
Date Posted: 5/13/2014 4:06:00 PM
Limerick Contest
Date Posted: 5/4/2014 7:56:00 PM
Roy's Ramblings - The Final Invention
Date Posted: 5/4/2014 9:42:00 AM
Contest Enhancements I'd Like to See
Date Posted: 4/24/2014 10:12:00 AM
Age Test
Date Posted: 3/23/2014 8:44:00 PM
A couple of not so burning questions
Date Posted: 3/23/2014 12:23:00 PM

My Poems

Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
9/15/2014The Empty QuarterAlliterationearth,nature,stars,
8/31/2014Bad GoldilocksAbecedarianhumorous,
8/25/2014Pussy RiotChastushkahumor,
8/23/2014Matryoshkan MultiverseHaibunhumor,
8/18/2014A Roll of Duct Tape - FootleFootlehumor,
8/10/2014The New OneBlank versedark,
8/5/2014Picket Tupp and Poteeta WheyQuatrainchild,children,
7/22/2014A Brush of WingsVersebird,
7/16/2014Great A'Tuin - the Giant Star TurtleHaibundeath,journey,stars,
7/13/2014Blood on the SaddleLimerickfunny,vacation,
7/8/2014Willow: A FableRhymechildren,death,dream,fant
6/30/2014Ragnarok: The StormEpyllionweather,
6/28/2014Dante's PathQuatrainspiritual,
6/11/2014Bill's DrillLimerickhumorous,
5/26/2014Albert EinsteinClerihewhumorous,science,
5/22/2014John Cougar MellencampClerihewbio,humorous,
5/14/2014Into the SunlightHaikunature,
5/7/2014Jonah Falcon He's NotLimerickfunny,
5/6/2014The Well Traveled LinguistLimerickhumorous,
5/5/2014Raise the MastLimerickhumorous,
5/4/2014Are you glad to see me or is that just a wrinkleLimerickage,funny,
5/2/2014The Devil Can Cite Scripture For His PurposeRhymehate,religion,slam,

My Photos

Fav Poems

Poem TitleFormCategories
AmazementFree verseplaces,voice,life,voice,
Pearl DivingQuatrainlove,
Slow Movin TightsBalladme,red,women,
That Night We KissedRondeauromanceheart,night,heart,
A Voice In The WindRhymeimagination,nature,
Within a StormSonnetinspirational,
Sailing the Seas In A Pecan TreeRhymeadventure,old,
Soul of the PoetQuatrainfarewell,poems,poetess,
MuseFree versewords,writing,
Falling upwardRhymeanger,angst,bereavement,b
No Longer Mourn for Me When I Am DeadLyricdeath,faith,religious,

Fav Poets

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