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Painted Hunter's Blog

About Painted Hunter
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Bloggers Photo  Caleb A. Smith was born January 14, 1982, in Searcy, Arkansas. He grew up in a small town called Biscoe on the banks of the White River. He graduated from DeValls Bluff High School in 2000 and was voted "Most likely to be mauled by Bigfoot", by his classmates. He still resides in Arkansas with his wife and two children, and has not yet been mauled by Bigfoot.

Frankly funny story...


Blog Posted:1/10/2014 2:13:00 PM
  Ok, like Cyndi said, we are missing Frank's humor right now so here's a goofy little story for you. Not clever, or all that funny really...but if you'd seen it, you'd have never forgotten.
  So most of you have read stories of mine involving my brother, Micah, and I (usually hunting), but I have a younger brother also. His name is Jordan. We share ten acres, on which we raise animals.(It's not a business, but we do sell the pigs we don't need...and by need, I mean the ones we don't use for meat or breeding) As of now we have over 120 chickens, 10 ducks, 3 turkeys, 6 or 7 geese, 2 goats, 9 pigs, and one old, cranky mule named Lester. No, we don't need a mule. We just took him a year ago from someone who was giving him away ... now I see why they didn't want him. He's a real jerk. Anyway, last April, Lester knocked down the fence to the pen where we keep Hairy Larry, a 400 lb boar we use to breed our sows, Wilma and Sugar-Butt (don't ask). I received a call at 3:10 pm that day from the sheriff department informing me that Hairy Larry was raising hell at the school crossing. I'm not kidding, people. We're that country. Being a small town, the cops knew exactly who's pig he was and since our ten acres is only 3 miles outside of town, Hairy Larry had no trouble getting there. I was at work so I called Jordan and he met me there with our pig trailer. Lucky for us, Wilma and Sugar-Butt, had stayed put. Lester, who had escaped his own enclosure before loosing Hairy Larry, showed back up late that evening. I was hoping he wouldn't come back. Anyway, we were met at the school crossing with angry cops, gawking pedestrians, and high school kids snapping off pictures with i-phones. Hairy Larry had decided to plant his 400 lb butt right in the middle of main street, and nobody would come near him. In truth, he was scared and surrounded by people. He didn't know what to do so he just stayed put. Normally, he would load right into the trailer for us, but not this day. We couldn't even lure him in with sour corn. So, in the end, I did the only thing I could to get him in the trailer....I sang to him. Hairy Larry will follow me anywhere when I sing, because I sing when I feed him...probably not because I have the voice of an angel...haha, though, I can carry a tune. Was I embarrased? Yes. Were crowds of high school kids giggling and gawkers gawking? Yes. Did Hairy Larry load his fat butt into the trailer? Why, yes, he surely did. 
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  1. Date: 1/11/2014 1:42:00 AM
    Very funny..I'm reading and imaging all this in my mind : )

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    it was quite an afternoon...;)
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 11:19:00 PM
    Hey, Caleb. This is hilarious. I have a question: How much are you asking for one of your sows ... ehem ... not Wilma ... : D

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:19:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Lol...sorry, Ruben. Sugar-Butt is my best sow...but maybe I could rent her out...hahaha
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 8:30:00 PM
    Good one!

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks Roy
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 8:26:00 PM
    You made me smile...............SKAT

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Skat. glad to make ya smile!
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 7:25:00 PM
    What a wonderful story! I have stories from my families chicken farm! LOL

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    gotta love those chickens, huh?!
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 5:52:00 PM
    a fantastic personal story, Caleb. You are one crazy and unique guy, just like our Frank!!

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    haha...you gotta entertain yourself out in the boonies!
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 5:05:00 PM
    ha, Caleb, you are one of a kind.... Keeping the love, and spreading the joy... Luv~ Linda

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:21:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Linda...you're great...:)
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 4:53:00 PM
    - HAVE A NICE WEEKEND !!! - <3

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:20:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    You too, Anne!
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 4:40:00 PM
    The best Caleb!

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:20:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Craig
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 2:31:00 PM
    just goes to show you have a hypnotic voice, caleb... a fun blog for the weekend with hopes that frank is reading this,, huggs

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:17:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    hmmm...maybe I do..ha
  1. Date: 1/10/2014 2:18:00 PM
    OMG... Priceless! Love the names of your animals and your errant mule Lester. Frankly Frank will love this too! You need to write more stories LOL

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    Hunter Avatar Painted Hunter Date: 1/11/2014 2:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Karen..:)
    cornish Avatar craig cornish Date: 1/10/2014 4:41:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Karen, hope yur ok hon!!

My Past Blog Posts

 
Inappropriate church behavior ... a funny story or two
Date Posted: 5/28/2014 8:46:00 AM
Wassup y'all?
Date Posted: 4/15/2014 10:11:00 AM
Pictures. Me at 5 and others
Date Posted: 3/17/2014 11:32:00 AM
Fishin' contest closed, fishin' haibun, and nonsense as usual
Date Posted: 3/10/2014 10:57:00 AM
21 Cyclists, two hillbillies, and a deer on an ear...
Date Posted: 2/27/2014 2:05:00 PM
Gone Fishin' Contest
Date Posted: 2/19/2014 8:36:00 AM
Donkey Basketball
Date Posted: 2/18/2014 10:05:00 AM
Into The Wild ... And Back Again
Date Posted: 2/10/2014 11:09:00 AM
In honor of the crown
Date Posted: 2/7/2014 12:09:00 PM
Re-telling of the naked hunter...and other stories
Date Posted: 1/26/2014 3:36:00 PM
Honoring Levon Helm... Singer, Songwriter, Legend among the greatest
Date Posted: 1/20/2014 2:32:00 PM
Where do you find peace?
Date Posted: 1/13/2014 11:22:00 AM
Frankly funny story...
Date Posted: 1/10/2014 2:13:00 PM
The Guest
Date Posted: 1/2/2014 12:46:00 PM
Southern Expressions....??
Date Posted: 11/4/2013 2:17:00 PM
Contest prize photos up
Date Posted: 10/1/2013 11:43:00 AM
Contest Judged ... Finally
Date Posted: 9/30/2013 11:26:00 AM
New Contest Posted--In the Woods
Date Posted: 9/2/2013 8:46:00 AM
Poetry and Fishing
Date Posted: 6/25/2013 10:24:00 AM
No idea what I'm doing...
Date Posted: 6/17/2013 10:59:00 AM

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