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What Say You - Not Mine


Blog Posted:5/2/2014 7:57:00 AM
Can I say of her face - altered
as I have reason to remember it,

perished as I know it is - that it is gone,
when here it comes before me at this instant,

as distinct as any face that I may choose
to look on in a crowded street?

Can I say to her innocent and girlish beauty,
that it faded, and was no more,

when its breath falls on my cheek now,
as it fell that night?

Can I say she ever changed when
my remembrance brings her back to life thus only;

and truer to its loving youth than I have been,or 
man ever is, still holds fast what is cherished then?
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  1. Date: 5/3/2014 10:22:00 PM
    I love Dickens...I love David Copperfield. My favorite character was Tommy Traddles....sweet boy. No wonder I loved this...This, I can deal with. This kind of enjambment I can....understand. Thanks, Craig. I love it.

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  1. Date: 5/3/2014 1:02:00 PM
    A beautiful piece but couldn't quite grasp what I thought of it til Andrea said an old fashioned feel... That fit perfectly. That and the feel of a real true one lost...

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  1. Date: 5/2/2014 8:18:00 PM
    It had that old fashioned feel to it that I knew it could not be current, so the way it was arranged confused me. Of course, i have already read the comments below. My only thing to add is that I was able to clearly understand it!!

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    rogers Avatar james rogers Date: 5/3/2014 8:12:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    lol
  1. Date: 5/2/2014 3:33:00 PM
    Just wondering how it would ring. I configured it like a poem but it's word for word a paragraph from the early pages of David Copperfield by Dickens.

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    Puddifoot Avatar Charlotte Jade Puddifoot Date: 5/2/2014 5:31:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    haha sneaky! no wonder I said it lacks imagery lol
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 5/2/2014 3:50:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    nod - old school
  1. Date: 5/2/2014 3:14:00 PM
    not keen, I've read similar a hundred times before, it's lacking in imagery for me...

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  1. Date: 5/2/2014 2:55:00 PM
    lots and lots of repetition, nice meter, pretty unoriginal take on a common subject

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  1. Date: 5/2/2014 2:14:00 PM
    Craig, I really like it....that's all I got to say bout that...

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  1. Date: 5/2/2014 1:10:00 PM
    Thanks Becca and Debbie, any more thoughts?

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  1. Date: 5/2/2014 10:37:00 AM
    I like the beginning its fresh and modern. The last two couplets push it too far toward a sonnet in particular-How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 - 1861 -

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My Past Blog Posts

 
Let's Get On Board For Debbie
Date Posted: 8/31/2015 3:32:00 PM
Get Along
Date Posted: 8/29/2015 5:12:00 PM
Some of the "Modern" sonnets
Date Posted: 6/6/2014 10:05:00 AM
Contest Inspiration Debussy
Date Posted: 5/24/2014 8:41:00 AM
What Say You - Not Mine
Date Posted: 5/2/2014 7:57:00 AM
UK National Poetry Contest 2013
Date Posted: 5/1/2014 8:37:00 AM
That'll Teach 'em!
Date Posted: 4/13/2014 3:01:00 PM
Cornish Sonnet Contest Results Posted Shortly
Date Posted: 4/11/2014 10:24:00 AM
Just a Couple Thoughts
Date Posted: 4/4/2014 11:17:00 AM
Another 16 Year Old
Date Posted: 4/3/2014 8:16:00 AM
A Teen's Musings JGM
Date Posted: 4/2/2014 8:50:00 AM
That's Enough for One Night
Date Posted: 3/28/2014 6:57:00 PM
New Formats
Date Posted: 3/25/2014 3:49:00 PM
Soup Mail Peeve
Date Posted: 3/25/2014 10:58:00 AM
Cornish Sonnet Clarification
Date Posted: 3/19/2014 10:25:00 AM
Ron Perlman Reciting Lord Byron
Date Posted: 3/12/2014 11:01:00 AM
Thought I'd Share
Date Posted: 3/11/2014 12:13:00 PM
Cornish Sonnet Simplified
Date Posted: 3/10/2014 9:38:00 AM
Angel of the Odddd
Date Posted: 3/9/2014 2:49:00 PM
Contest Rules
Date Posted: 2/27/2014 1:51:00 PM
The Real Robert Frost
Date Posted: 2/21/2014 11:39:00 AM
Constanza Contest Judged
Date Posted: 2/9/2014 2:10:00 PM
Constanza
Date Posted: 1/19/2014 8:09:00 AM
Meter
Date Posted: 1/14/2014 6:58:00 PM
Quoting Shakespeare
Date Posted: 1/13/2014 9:33:00 AM

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THE OLD OAK TREE Free verseautumn,life,spring,summer
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FIRST CHERUBIC CHANCE Lyricmystery,uplifting
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Passing Trains in Winter Rain Rhymedepression,
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FLEETING VISUALS Free verseadventure,art,
LONELY Free verselife,lonely,me,people,swe
POETRY IS AN ECHO Rispettoon writing and words,me,
Poe and I Rispettolonely,lost love,
Spring's Sweet Reality Free versedream,nature,spring,dream
The Angel Inside Rhymeallegory,angel,art,beauti
Back to Lost Rhymehistory,
Kiss the Rain Quatraingirl,people,rain,romantic
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The Old Wooden Bench Sonnetimagination,old,old,
Every now and then Lyriclove,miss you,
SYLVIA Crown of Sonnetslife,poets,writing,
Her Requiem Rhymedeath,faith,mother,
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Verses for Vivian Lyricdepression,
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Una and the Lion Monorhymeanimal,girl,happiness,inn
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The Soup Reich Free versesatire,slam,
Hold Back The Sun Free verselove,morning,passion,
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Aftermath Free versebaby,loss,winter,
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Recalling Her Free versegrandmother,memory,
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just like juliet Free verselove,
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Somber Days Free verseday,november,tree,
IN THE MOOD Light Poetryadventure,woman,
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In the Snowy Brightness of that Moonless Night Quintain (English)moon,new year,snow,
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