1. longest word..smile because it has a mile between the first and last letter
2.Saddest fruit... blueberry
3. Is old $100 bill better than a new one, yes $99 dollars better
4.Left hand/Right hand... aren't you fed up always being right?
5.What do you call a man who doesn't have all fingers on one hand? Normal because we have them on both hands.
·1. Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.
2.The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn't know they are. What is it?
3.I am always hungry,
I must always be fed,
The finger I touch,
Will soon turn red. What am I?
4.I know a word of letters three. Add two, and fewer there will be
5.Half-way up the hill, I see thee at last, lying beneath me with thy sounds and sights -- A city in the twilight, dim and vast, with smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights.(Longfellow)
Joke On Second Thoughts
A young lady stops by her grandmother's house on the way to a dance. She wants to introduce her boy friend to her grandmother. As they are chatting, her boy friend spies some peanuts on the coffee table. He begins munching on them as they converse.
After about an hour, they are getting ready to leave and he thanks the grandmother for her hospitality and especially for the peanuts.
"Oh, your welcome young man," she says. "I appreciate you finishing them up. Ever since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off of them."