elizabethwesley

Date: 2/9/2013 6:31:00 PM

Frankie darling, I was looking for something else you told me about and came across this tempting tidbit so I'll add my 2 cents. How about "cocked casualty"? Does that tickle your fancy? :)

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Date: 2/7/2013 2:19:00 PM

Chris has a great story, but I think it is really the reason there are no more dinosaurs.

Catie Lindsey Date: 2/8/2013 7:20:00 AM

so funny! :)

craig cornish Date: 2/7/2013 2:57:00 PM

Hmmm, Joann might have something here, but perhaps then the big bang was not climax related--not sure--no....wrong event---Joann's explanation deserves consideration because even though it was written in brief I'm sure volumes of thought were involved and....

Chris D.Aechtner

Date: 2/7/2013 9:54:00 AM

Reptile Dysfunction is a term recently coined in Arizona, where there is a growing following of single females, who due to their inability to keep a dance partner(or a partner in general), as a as a viable stand-in, raise iguanas, training the lizards to stand on their hind-legs and learn various dance moves. If these iguanas are brought to a dance-hall, and because of shyness or nerves, refuse to stand-up and dance, their owners are known to shriek: "Oh! My little man has reptile dysfunction! He refuses to get it up!" Since this latest craze is catching on like hula-hoops and frisky-disco, causing single females all over the state to train iguanas to dance, an experimental iguana viagra, called IV42, is being marketed for dance partners experiencing Reptile Dysfunction. There have already been a few complaints from iguana owners who have given their iguanas this reptilian form of viagra, relaying harrowing tales about how their "little green man stood erectly at attention for 24 hours in a row, becoming forceful and dominating, with a drive to do nothing but the Cha-Cha and Tango." Sally Hardbanger, a woman from Phoenix, Arizona, who is currently involved in a multi-million dollar lawsuit with a Pharm company that markets IV42, explained how after giving her iguana an IV42 pill for the first time, the iguana proceeded to force the woman to engage in a pounding Tango for 8 hours straight, with her little man refusing to stand-down. Critics of the Hardbanger lawsuit, believe the woman should be grateful for the overall experience. Sally Hardbanger claims that after the first 2 hours of the supposedly horrific ordeal, she couldn't feel her thighs anymore: "After 4 hours, I didn't know if I could go on, I've never achieved multiple dances before....why, it used to be hard just to achieve one dance at the best of times. Those multiple dances just kept coming and coming and coming! That day, I truly thought I saw God."

Chris D. Aechtner Date: 2/8/2013 10:34:00 AM

I am glad if people enjoyed the quirky humour here, inspired by Frank's blog. @R(h)ubarb -- yeah, I wasn't going for any major subtlety. I am almost certain someone could use their wit to come-up with a whole different angle that is more subtle.

Ruben O. Date: 2/8/2013 8:28:00 AM

Ohhh! OK! : ) You won! I think we're talking about the same abnormality... subtleness doesnt work this time! LOL! Good one, Chris!

Catie Lindsey Date: 2/8/2013 7:19:00 AM

you have my vote too! so funny! :)

craig cornish Date: 2/7/2013 2:18:00 PM

This is why they seed tournaments, so they're not over before they start. Just got off a conference call with the other 17,532 members of the soup and we quit, give up, whatever, no mas----hope yur happy Chris LOL!!!

Deborah Burch Date: 2/7/2013 1:21:00 PM

BRAVO!Chris!! Layers upon layers lol!!! True to form...you have my vote!! Lol. Well done. Big hug. Love ya cap'n deb

Becca Lucas Date: 2/7/2013 1:10:00 PM

i think we have a winner :P

Debra Squyres Date: 2/7/2013 10:53:00 AM

lol

CatieLindsey

Date: 2/7/2013 8:30:00 AM

Reptile dysfunction refers to the inability of a reptile to shed the scales/skin of it's tail. Therefore leaving the poor thing with an engorged, but useless appendage. HA!

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DebraSquyres

Date: 2/6/2013 10:33:00 PM

Reptile Dysfunction: Simply stated: When a reptile loses the desire to eat live prey. The reptile becomes a vegetarian to the embarrassment of its fellow reptilian family. Thus shunned by its fellow creatures it becomes a hermit and forages for seeds to plant instead of prey to eat. As of this days print, there has not been a cure found for this dysfunction which leaves the poisionous snakes...poisionless. Mankind and creature kind are unwilling to search for a cure.

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Ruben O.

Date: 2/6/2013 9:57:00 PM

Reptile Dysfunction refers to the difficulty experienced by the "spitting cobras" when they loss the ability to raise their front quarters of their bodies off the ground... this mechanism is usally accompanied by the flattening of their necks which makes them appear larger to a potential predator.

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Ruben O. Date: 2/6/2013 9:58:00 PM

This dysfunction was immortalized by Emily Dickinson in her "A Narrow Fellow in the Grass" : )

SerenRoberts

Date: 2/6/2013 9:36:00 PM

Damn Frank i wish a cockerel was a reptile would have had "cock-a-doodle don't" ...Seren

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