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Catie Lindsey's Blog

About Catie Lindsey
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Bloggers PhotoBorn 12/15/1956 in the mountains of Central Oregon. :)

I may be a mountain girl, but I am no Hill-billy!

Accountability (Random Thoughts)


Blog Posted:12/17/2012 7:08:00 AM
The rest of the world rambles, why not I? I hold no answers for what works for you, how you conduct yourselves, or your lives, but this is what works for me. Never again, will I write dark prose, or even dark poetry. Never again will I give darkness the slightest foothold, thinking that I could toy with it, forgetting that darkness grows. It spreads. I must be accountable for what I write. Where are the lines, at what point would I find myself overstepping the boundaries? No more hate. There's enough of that out there already. Sorrow, I suppose is harmless, but anger is never acceptable. What if I were to write a poem which infused others with anger, and what if a psychotic read it, and acted out aggression? I really need to clean up my act. I always told myself that in creative writing, fiction is allowed, and I have always thought that bringing darkness to life was a mere act of fictional writing. Where is the accountability in that? I was spreading darkness.
   Can you believe this? I used to pray that God would somehow give salvation and forgiveness to Satan. Yeah, I thought that if Satan was somehow magically transformed by salvation, that all our problems would be over. I should have known that God knows best. Now, I feel Satan has been unleashed into our world, and he is attacking our children.
   If I, my writing, is not part of the solution, then it is part of the problem.
   I am only human, and sometimes the pain needs to be poured out, yet I must be responsible in this, so that I am not just passing it along to my brother.
Like I said, this is only what works for me. I can still put drama into my poetry, without spreading darkness.
Perhaps, I am just pretty confused right now, but lets look back at the greats... how many of them really engaged in what we, today, call dark poetry? I dare to say, that even their worst, was mild compared to what we write today....yeah, these are just my thoughts, where my mind is taking me today. If I were to leave a message for another generation of people who populated our Earth, in some distant future, I would tell them to never, ever devise a weapon to do harm to another human being. To destroy it right away. But then again, they would pick up sticks and hurt each other. There is too much evil out there.
   Back to my writing...yeah, no more darkness from me, I choose to be responsible with it, and not spread darkness any further than I already have. I shall destroy those poems.

Someone, please, help me understand....where are the lines????
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  1. Date: 12/19/2012 9:25:00 PM
    I understand, hon! I, too, have been looking closer at some of my choices. One day I'll tell you about my daughter, the miracle that became my child -- its quite the tale. After she was born, I became more sensitive to violence and found I could no longer stomach what I'd used to watch with my husband ... I kept seeing my girl everywhere. I haven't been able to write much poetry since Friday. I am feeling such empathy for the families of Newtown, but there loss is unimaginable. I will be writing my government, something I should have done a long, long time ago. I know my words will not make an impact on laws, but I need to say something or I have done nothing. YOU ARE A LIGHT, SWEETIE. But as I said, I do understand. I am sad that you are removing your poetry, but I support your exploration, questioning and need for action! xox Cyndi (PS.. like you have questioned satan, I have questioned Judas. There HAD to be a Judas. Doesn't he deserve forgiveness, too?)

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  1. Date: 12/19/2012 5:41:00 AM
    The more "liberated" we become, the more we fail as a society. Don't look for God in the school system. We threw Him out. Now we are shocked by the very society we created. We make the rules. We screwed up when we got away from the values we were taught. It's not Satan attacking our children, it is us inviting him to do so.

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  1. Date: 12/17/2012 10:01:00 AM
    Catie I think this is one of the reasons I deleted my poem, I really do understand where you are coming from, I, like most of the reasonable, sensible world out there, am still struggling to come to terms with this and I too would ban every violent video game, they must be having a mental effect on todays youth....

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    Lindsey Avatar Catie Lindsey Date: 12/17/2012 10:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I agree. Violence should be banned in those games.
  1. Date: 12/17/2012 9:27:00 AM
    cont...then he said "kids love to blow up their enemies"...and said, "besides, it's just pretend!"... Unfortunately, the fact is that that is how most of our kids are being entertained, and are being taught to think....... How has it become okay to laugh and find glee in violence?! How is it okay to laugh and find glee and and be joyous over darkness? In the smallest ways we have to make choices, to make the changes. If writing a poem, or choosing a gift, or helping a neighbor, or smiling at a stranger, or one small polite gesture can make little differences....only then can we take part in the change

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    Lindsey Avatar Catie Lindsey Date: 12/17/2012 10:02:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    In China, a madman entered the home of an elderly woman, and killed her in her home, then went to a grade school, children ages 6-11, and stabbed 22 children just as they were arriving for school. Cutting off their ears and fingers. Did that in any way influence the madman in Conn? I wonder....
    Lindsey Avatar Catie Lindsey Date: 12/17/2012 10:00:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I agree with your thoughts on this, Carrie, and when does information become too much information? I read about the stabbing of 22 children in China, which happened the same day as the massacre here in the US, and since China is a bit ahead of us, time wise, I wonder if that news, being broadcast on the internet, did in any way influence the gunman here in the US?
  1. Date: 12/17/2012 9:23:00 AM
    Dear Catie, As Frank says, you are being hard on yourself today, and yet I applaud your thinking and I applaud the idea of each one of us taking responsibility to make the world a safer, more gentle place. In every small way, if each one of us took these sad times to make love and kindness rule. While shopping last week for my grandkids, (video games for my grandson were on his list)...I asked this young man (clerk who was helping us select) about the content of one game...and about the violence. He was excited and enthusiastic about one game in particular.....and I asked him how appropriate for an 11 year old, and the young man brushed off my concern like I was some old school fuddy duddy.

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  1. Date: 12/17/2012 8:22:00 AM
    OH CATIE! Sounds like a bit of 'Survivor's Guilt' dropping by your Beautiful, Sensitive mind! To be a little more 'Thoughtful.'...is a good thing...so much Thoughtlessness...passes even here...between individuals...that leads to hard & hurt feelings...driving a wedge in what otherwise could be a great community of friendship. But please don't let anything stifle that AWESOME & CREATIVE...BEAUTIFUL MIND of yours...Dear CATIE! We ALL SO adore you...here.

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    Lindsey Avatar Catie Lindsey Date: 12/17/2012 8:47:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you, Frank. I just dont want to increase darkness in any way, shape, or form. Yes, I'm probably a little confused right now. love and hugs, catie :)
    Lindsey Avatar Catie Lindsey Date: 12/17/2012 8:47:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you, Frank. I just dont want to increase darkness in any way, shape, or form. Yes, I'm probably a little confused right now. love and hugs, catie :)

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