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Deborah Guzzi travels for inspiration: China, Nepal [during the civil war], Japan, Egypt [two weeks before ‘The Arab Spring’], and most recently Peru. First published at the age of sixteen, she writes articles for Massage and Aroma Therapy Magazines. Her poetry has been accepted in the Literary Journals of Western CT. University, Inclement Magazine, Pyrokinections, Jellyfish Whispers, Grey Wolf’s Summer Legends Anthology, The Germ, Wilderness Literary Review, The Anthology Sweet Dreams & Night Terrors, Bitterzoet Magazine, haiku journal, Contemporary Haibun Online, Bella on line, The Autumn Sound, Eskimo Pie, and Ribbons, The Inwood Indiana Review, Five Poetry, Tanka Society of America Journal, and 50 haiku. She has published two illustrated volumes of poetry, The Healing Heart and Heaven and Hell in a Nutshell.

6 th Sonnet Crown

Blog Posted:1/31/2014 3:45:00 PM
Crown of Sonnets, 7 will be picked to win in the contest, seven that  fit  the best together.  

It is a 7-sonnet sequence in which

the last line  of  each sonnet is repeated in the first line of the  next.

The first line is repeated as the last line  of  the 7th. sonnet;
These will be MODERN   SONNETS, 14 lines, 10 syllables per line

 abab cdcd efef gg/ I want  flow  but strict meter is not necessary.

 [we'll try 3 at a time & pick what works best] blend your writing style with Caleb's.

REMEMBER big Boy & Girl  Pants On

1. Caleb
2. Charles Henderson
3. James Goff
4. Isaiah Zerbst
5. Roy Jerden & Kelly Deschler& binibining P. iNk    
6. Carrie Richards, Joyce Johnson & Andrea Dietrich
7. Eileen Ghali, Sarah Kendrick & Dane Ann Smith Johnson

Everyone who tries will rank, the 7 in the crown will get a first place. 


Stone in the Cold

By Caleb Smith

#1 Caleb Smith
 Through the North's dark I come a stealthy hand
who but a man shadowed could be so bold?
My eyes hunt, take a reckon of the land,
look into the hollows, constant and cold.

My companion's solitude still as stone.
I  am the seeker of winds, and of scent.
By the trees yonder, I wait not alone;
my aim is true, and my purpose unbent.

Yet, death does not bring a smile to my  lips,
 nor a lift unto this wayfaring heart;
 in grief I am fed,  from silence I sip,
 and from the old wood, I shall never part.

Caleb am I, a hunter true, and I pursue
a life that no death can ever undo.

#2 Charles Henderson 

A life that no death can ever undo,
for  there are portals I've yet to find.
Hidden life in the green I wish to pursue,
oh, the secrets of life and death entwine.   

I search and search, I will know no defeat.
Each corner turned will find new paths to tread.
The deer or  the  bear, the fox that I meet
will reveal the secrets of life not death.

So, let the wood talk, hear what it reveals.
Riddle its meanings there to be understood.
The less armor worn, we brandish or wield,
higher truth follows our message of good. 

Come into the woods as in days of youth,
we  still face the test of absolute truth.

 #3 of 3 James Goff

We still face the test of absolute truth,
the nights coming fast, I travel unheard.
The reverence I feel, was born in youth,
tempered by sage, burnt offerings for birds.

Tormented by brambles whose thorns I collect
I come to remains of struggles long gone,
feathers and crushed bone, on these I  reflect.
I'm hoping once more, my arms are still  strong.

A pine marten scurries, close to my step,
the sweet scent of birch gum, his claws unearth.
My arrow's still sheathed, for creeks I have leapt.
though I grow cold, my spirit is rebirths.

Tracks at the creek, the water I savor
the brush moves, my aim must never waver. 

#4 Isaiah Z

The brush moves, my aim must never waver;
with strengthened arms, I bend my bow of yew:
my eyes pierce the  brush, intent to savor
the sights of a good hunt, an arrow true.

The  bracken parts, rattling, empty sighs;
 my draw fingers quake from the constant  chill.
My quarries' breath floats to the clouded sky;
my own breath  muffled as I track my kill.

Overhead, an arrow in deadly arc
speeds  toward the bear I'm seeking, still as stone;
a shadow moves, the arrow strikes its mark.
The hand that looses the shaft is not my own.

I am a man shadowed; death comes knocking:
The hunter hunted; the past comes a stalking.

#5 Roy
The hunter hunted; the past comes stalking
as three men in the high grasses arise
they're enemies all, my skill they mock
they wounded the bear, now they want their prize.

From my quiver I load, I pull, the shaft flies
there's one man down, but two others advance
I round the still bear, turn toward their eyes
buck knife in hand, I fight on in a trance.

My senses heighten, I exult in pain
So crisp is each leaf and each grassy blade.
So fresh the air, and each wet drop of rain.
Three down and the bear wounded in the glade.

Death songs stir memories for this woodland.
Ahead, the bear in sudden motion stands.


Ahead, the bear in sudden motion stands.             

 The CLIMAX needs to be at the END of 5 or BEGINNING of 6

Ok here where we are Caleb [who we have naked with a muffler & a bow  quill & a buck knife -nice look by the way hubba hubba] in the North woods, there are ferns thorns & birch tree deer, bear, fox, pine martins

3 enemies are down [out of the fight for now - sure if they are totally incapacitated, will revive or dead] the bear is wounded [we don't know if it's a mortal wound] It's cold enough to see your breath [so like 32? degrees Fahrenheit] cold, wet. Since Jimbo did burnt offering he has matches - probably in his quiver?

We don't know the time of day but to see shadows it is day. Do you all see how we have MOVED HIM NOWHERE

so from verse 1-5 we had him stand, think, observe, load his bow shoot down 1 man grab his buck knife [I guess he dropped the bow BUT the quiver is still attached to him] fight to incapacitate 2 more mean around the body of a wounded bear & the bear alone REVIVES

What does the naked hunter do now, what time of day is it? He must be freezing? hungry? thirsty? TIRED? and alone in the same spot he started in the North woods. [Apparently he didn't get wounded at all during all this?]


This is not you, it is not your voice [ie the language you use] it is not your morals. Don't say "I would never say that or I would never do that ... if you read Caleb's blog you can get


The is Caleb, the place is simply the woods, the man thinks...thinks.. he is being shadowed night is falling [how does he react to the night coming on when he thinks he is being shadowed?] no mention is made yet of how far from home he is or what his
supplies are, does he have a camp set up? does he have to set a camp up with dark coming on? He's too far in the woods to get home now before full dark. Is there an old hunters cabin or a hunters platform he can go to? where the water? What's he eating? Is he cold? Perhaps there is no shadow perhaps he has a fever mounting?

 [no fantasy or magic, a real person in real time, who hunts to put food on his table not for sport a woodsman who has hunted since he was a child]

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 9:25:00 AM
    I don't see anyone stating that he is naked. Why do you say he is? I don't see any naked hunters running around in our northwoods.

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 8:49:00 AM
    Deb, he is obviously moving in some direction when it was said "I come to remains of struggles long gone," and then also "close to my step," also, "for creeks I have leapt." and..."Tracks at the creek," All this was from Jimbo's sonnet. So our Caleb is clearly moving...steps... and tracking something down by the creek....

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    Lindsey Avatar Catie Lindsey Date: 2/4/2014 8:52:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    and let us all assume he has clothes on.... LOL... some of the great poets never described how their heroes, or heroines were dressed, it was an implied factor...LOL you are so funny :)
  1. Date: 2/4/2014 8:37:00 AM
    Hi Deb, I haven't seen anyone copy and past this yet, would you like me to give it a try? hugs, catie

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    Lindsey Avatar Catie Lindsey Date: 2/4/2014 8:40:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    i can do it easily...
  1. Date: 2/4/2014 7:56:00 AM
    Okies Guys Jimbo, copy everything above from this page YOU put the blog up NOW I can't even start a new blog! grrrrrrrrrr - and we have a naked mufflered, bow,quiver& buck knife carrying caleb tired, wet, cold with 3 downed men somewhere in the north woods in the ferns & thickets WITH a wounded BEAR- JIMBO used the revised version of Roy's ONLY put up sonnets 1-5 cut out the rest

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 7:13:00 AM
    Ok if I can get the blog page to copy all for me I will use the rewrite of Roy's & Mark, when we are done, we can go back and tweak the meter [we have to plot to the end] all & all I wish we had actually shown what Caleb looked like but it's TOO LATE now

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 6:49:00 AM
    Also really like imagination in Kelly's re-work....the "camo coat" line, bit weak...

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 6:43:00 AM
    love Roys too....just have hesitation 'bout the weak line "there's one man down"

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 3:46:00 AM
    On poem number 5, I didn't really consider's because of her disregard of the syllable count which was a stipulation of 10 syllables. I liked KD best but his version not Deb's quite as much. The story line wasn't quite as good as the rewrite of Roy's. So, I will have to vote for Roys for the good of total crown. If we can redo Kd's closer to the story line and still preserve his write. I would be happier. As it is---- Yea Roy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 1:24:00 AM
    Ok my vote goes to K.D. original one as it not only stays very close to caleb's theme but it also has elements of his as well, it is intense as well as mysterious, voices from brooks, eyes are everywhere, something is near....very good.

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  1. Date: 2/4/2014 12:49:00 AM
    Honestly, and this pains, all three seem choppy and in need of polish, not far short of rewrite. Of all, I like Roy's original, which needs only a tweak or two and a bit more drama.

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  1. Date: 2/3/2014 11:36:00 PM
    If we don't want gore why are we writing a hunting sonnet? The rhyme is compromised in the third verse of K.D.s 2nd version. I still vote for Roys.

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    Peterson Avatar Mark Peterson Date: 2/4/2014 12:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

  1. Date: 2/3/2014 9:46:00 PM
    Diggin' the Nikko re-write! Oh yeah!!!

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  1. Date: 2/3/2014 9:09:00 PM
    Soup working on fixing my blog page I can't copy this to a new blog with verse 5 until the do [sigh]

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 9:21:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    if it's not fixed by tomorrow morning I figured out a way around it.
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 9:08:00 PM
    I'm not quit sure what's being asked of me, but I will say that my fave sonnet of all the ones here is #3. Earthy without being smarmy, I like that. Thanks for inviting me to your blog, Debbie, is cool to read you and see some old friends here! Namaste ~N

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  1. Date: 2/3/2014 8:33:00 PM
    This is so hard, but I think I'll pick the last version, just for the new twist to the poem. :) They are all so great!

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  1. Date: 2/3/2014 7:14:00 PM
    I like Nikko's but it makes me want to "get romantic" with the next sonnet and I think the one by Roy would make me want to keep talking about nature, so I vote for that one.

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 7:20:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    man I wish they'd fix my blog page
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 10:40:00 AM
    ok last one I think-- the ending couplet is so different from how I wrote it, oh shucks :(! I was trying to be coherent to Isaiah's sonnet, wherein there was an arrow shot by someone else-- and I tried to address that there PLUS the idea of the "past stalking" enters in as well, with that hand being of the huntress-- someone from the past of the hunter, and also somehow referring back to Caleb's line of "I wait not alone" --it could have a double meaning of other animals or persons. Sorry if I nitpicked here a bit... hope you understand. It's not that I am not open to suggestions, I just feel the need to explain why I wrote it in that manner...

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    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 1:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I enjoyed writing this, made me explore some stuff I wouldn't normally write, thank you.
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 1:00:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    as for me not showing the hunter being hit by the arrow, for me it does-- thus the "beads of sweat"-- for me that shows some kind of reaction from the wound. Hmm, as for searing, I don't mean sear as in verb, but as in adjective, as in describing the type of pain? A piercing kind of pain? Ok, have to sleep now :)
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 12:57:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    It's ok if my plot wasn't used, seriously, I just enjoyed putting up my ideas for this, I don't want it to appear that I am pushing for my plot (I think Roy's and Kelly's are very interesting), so I won't say how I think my last couplet does have potential, I explained already below why I wrote it as such---
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 12:43:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    line 4 the bear is wounded by the man line 12 I took [keeled] as in keeled over - okies - let's see whose plot get picked?
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 12:42:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    if your plot is used your last couplet is not forward moving enough of the plot - verse one is basically the same content only changed for syllable count & clarity, verse 2 line 1 the man is wounded by the bear, [your line one does not show the hunter winged by an arrow - too tricky seared is what meat does when touched by hot metal]
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 10:33:00 AM
    Another one-- again, L4S3 kind of bugged me as well, since I didn't know how to bring the message across right--but what I was trying to imply there was the disbelief that the bear suddenly keels over, and not by the hands of the hunter---from how I interpret the revised line, it's more like disbelief from being attacked by the bear-- or maybe I didn't read it right?

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  1. Date: 2/3/2014 10:23:00 AM
    Sorry, I feel some of the ties I put in there got lost in the revision...Admittedly, I was a bit vague in my 2nd stanza-about Who actually had that flesh wound-- the bear or the hunter? It's pretty open for interpretation, in my mind though, it was the hunter that was wounded this time (ths "the hunter hunted"-- but yes, either way, there WAS a second shot of an arrow (implied by quivering of leaves and the word "sears"-- I'm no expert, but I can only imagine a shot of an arrow would have a searing kind of pain)--it makes for more suspense, both of them being wounded--but yes, a niggling thought for me as I wrote this? why would he be shot at? accident or intentional? it remains to be seen I guess. cont'd

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    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 10:27:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    ok, i know my own quivering line is a bit vague, but with the revision, it's still a bit vague as to how the flesh wound appears? was it done by the hunter? or by the bear?
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 10:16:00 AM
    Hi! Ok, umm I see some revisions have been made (I have no qualms with the syllable changes) but yes, I do have some concerns over some of the changes, Debbie-- I hope it's ok if I point it out and Why... it sort of deviates from what I had in mind (and yup, I am keeping the previous sonnets in mind) hear me out pls and bear with me, it's gonna be kinda long-- oops, I know I keep going on about my captchas--they are freaky it says "mum" now, but nope, I won't be mum, haha

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    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 1:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    it definitely could ;) ok really going now...sorry if I kind of hogged this blog-- won't be here much tomorrow, that's why...oh one last, yes, it was "keeled" over but another party caused it to, it keeled over After the hunter is on the ground...thus the disbelief. sorry I explain myself too much, maybe I wasn't so clear with how I wrote things, sorry.
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 12:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    maybe it mean Ma, mummy, mommy ;)
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 9:46:00 AM
    I'm waiting on Cyndi's invective for use of the "huntress" term. Just kidding...

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 3:14:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    nothing wrong with it nikko, Dee objects to being called a poetess, Dee is a person the comment was to her, the huntress is a fiction figure.
    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden Date: 2/3/2014 1:28:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Sorry, kind of an inside joke. I don't have a problem with huntress. However, if your poem is picked, and it is already established that there is a huntress, it might be more effective to not reveal that until close to the end of the complete crown, to add an element of surprise. Maybe we can get a name from Caleb, otherwise I suggest Diana, of course.
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 10:47:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    yes, she definitely is! please don't let me change the word "huntress"! What's wrong with the word "huntress"???
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 10:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    LOL Dee will let me be me ... and this woman is the hero! So I'm fine ;) ;)
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 8:39:00 AM
    I'd like you to NOTE the SEEING added to Kelly's we now know how Caleb is dressed for the weather and where his camp is and have a scene set up for more suspense BUT possible safety ... FROM the climax we must slowly roll to the end, a firm conclusion with a 2 line more or less moral?

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  1. Date: 2/3/2014 8:37:00 AM
    I like Nikko's.. :) Only a huntress can pull poor Caleb out of this mess! HA! :)

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    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 10:50:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you, Catie :)! Wouldn't that be cool if they also help each other out, hunter saves her too somewhere along the road?
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 7:08:00 AM
    The two lines below now have only 9 syllables as both have been changed from what I submitted. The 2nd one now has the word "stands" instead of "descends", so this word is used in both of the last two lines of the poem. I don't see this an an improvement./ "wait his pounce upright and unafraid."/ "A deadly still stands upon these lands"

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    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden Date: 2/3/2014 8:37:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    OK, thanks. Fix when you can.
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 8:35:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    sorry Roy as I said the cut and paste function of the blog isn't working & I had to hand type jumping back & forth front the Word program to the blog page, it was just a mistake on my part, let's see whose plot line is picked, I notified Soup of the blog page problem last night, it's not fixed yet.
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 6:50:00 AM
    Okies folks - which plot line are we going on with Roy's, Kelly's or Nikko's?

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  1. Date: 2/3/2014 6:09:00 AM
    Caleb's companion, is possibly a dog, another tool of the hunter. It senses things, will fight to death protecting its master, etc. Hunting is spiritual to Caleb, killing doesn't make him feel good, but it's a necessity.

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 6:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    yup would have been a good add in verse 2 Marlon.
  1. Date: 2/3/2014 1:09:00 AM
    Just to let everyone know, my original poem was inspired by Caleb's story, about how the forest can have a haunted feel to it, sometimes. So, I thought maybe this hunter from the past may be a ghost, and not a living person. I just thought it would be an interesting story...Debbie, I have read the comments below, and if you would like to add more action to my poem, then you may do so. :)

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    Deschler Avatar Kelly Deschler Date: 2/3/2014 2:57:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you, Debbie. I understand what you meant about my poem not fitting with the current storyline. And, I do understand why the changes had to be made to my poem. :)
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 6:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yes Kelly well done beautifully done, adding to it would simply be because of its placement in the whole thing, this would have worked without change for verse 3 or 4 & thank you so much TODAY WE DECIDE
  1. Date: 2/2/2014 9:38:00 PM
    I vote for Roy's. there is movement in it that gives coming writers something to start with toward a climax and finish. Joyce

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  1. Date: 2/2/2014 7:43:00 PM everything 'bout yer sonnet! Story...Action....Suspense...."these thoughts hound me as I clutch my knife close" for me, sounds smoother? Everything else...ACES! jimbo

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    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 2/3/2014 10:53:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks so much, Jimbo, glad you enjoyed it :)! I really am kind of clueless when it comes to meter-- thanks for your suggestion but the end rhyme becomes different-- since I had "life" in the 2nd line, Debbie's revision was also good
  1. Date: 2/2/2014 7:38:00 PM
    "There, above me up the hill, a tree blind!"...Kelly your story! Here's a thought for this line to smooth it out? Jimbo

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/3/2014 8:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Jimbo I try hard to keep the original intent & end rhyme patterns the poet has established, I think both line changes you have brought up do flow better but I think [hard to be sure constantly scrolling up & down] but you have changed the end rhyme & that snow balls!

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My Poems

Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
9/3/2014The Devil Made Me Do ItHaibunanger,feelings,relationsh
9/2/2014Watching the Shadows GrowTrioletnature,
8/26/2014Love Froze the FlameGhazallost love,love,
8/21/2014Mist RiseOttava rimabeauty,
8/19/2014Bewitching PowerRhymemen,power,
8/15/2014Unknown InnocenceSonnetfaith,
8/13/2014Mi CorazonLyricromance,
8/12/2014What Ever Gets You Through the NightVersefaith,
8/10/2014A Different FearVerseabuse,
8/7/2014Prayer for HarvestVersesky,
8/4/2014Black Ships SailTail-rhymeabsence,
7/31/2014The Sky Larked MoonVersemoon,
7/31/2014White Shoulder DreamsFree versemissing you,
7/31/2014Masked at MidnightBlitzmurder,mystery,
7/28/2014Velvet as Laughter - BlitzVersejoy,
7/24/2014Soar Among StarsVersegrowth,
7/22/2014Peek A BooVersebaby,
7/19/2014Ride Sally RideBalladsexy,
7/19/2014sun showerHaikucelebration,
7/19/2014Turtle BridgeFree versemythology,
7/17/2014The Scent of WaterVerselife,
7/15/2014The Great Turtle and Sky Woman Rhymemythology,
7/12/2014The Clarity of EyeSonnetuplifting,visionary,
7/11/2014Shattered StagesVerseloss,

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Fav Poems

Poem TitleFormCategories
GodFree verselife,mystery,
Hard TimesCowboycowboy-western,family,fun
For Things Once CountedRhymeintrospection,loss,uplift
Defender of the WastesFree verseart,life,parody,world,
this is why i woo wordsVerseart,inspirational,philoso
ForbearFree versesad,
Gold FeverFree versefaithfaith,political,
SplatteredI do not know?life
EchoQuatrainlost lovewords,love,
Bells (after Poe)Lyricpassion
Respectfully, Emily DickinsonLyricintrospection
Give the End Back to the BeginningFree versededication,faithme,
The Bruised and Rotting PearCoupletfaith,hope
flyFree verseanimals
ABC's for a Young CaptainABClife
Not Entirely About Living In New YorkFree verselifeworld,light,light,
WoodcutterI do not know?warold,old,
DreamsFree versefaith,forgiveness
A Feed of ChipsNarrativefunny
Weep O WillowsVersedeath
Harlem BluesFree verseblack-african amerchildre
Summers EverlastingFree versenostalgia

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Carolyn Devonshire United States Flag United States Read
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Andrew Crisci United States Flag United States Read
Jim Fish United States Flag United States Read
Debbie Guzzi United States Flag United States Read
Nigel Fawcett Italy Flag Italy Read
L'nass Shango United States Flag United States Read
Andrea Dietrich United States Flag United States Read
Robert L. Hinshaw United States Flag United States Read
Chris D. Aechtner Canada Flag Canada Read
nette onclaud Philippines Flag Philippines Read
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