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Debbie Guzzi's Blog

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Deborah Guzzi travels for inspiration: China, Nepal [during the civil war], Japan, Egypt [two weeks before ‘The Arab Spring’], and most recently Peru. First published at the age of sixteen, she writes articles for Massage and Aroma Therapy Magazines. Her poetry has been accepted in the Literary Journals of Western CT. University, Inclement Magazine, Pyrokinections, Jellyfish Whispers, Grey Wolf’s Summer Legends Anthology, The Germ, Wilderness Literary Review, The Anthology Sweet Dreams & Night Terrors, Bitterzoet Magazine, haiku journal, Contemporary Haibun Online, Bella on line, The Autumn Sound, Eskimo Pie, and Ribbons, The Inwood Indiana Review, Five Poetry, Tanka Society of America Journal, and 50 haiku. She has published two illustrated volumes of poetry, The Healing Heart and Heaven and Hell in a Nutshell.


Will you Play with Me


Blog Posted:1/5/2014 7:54:00 AM
I thought it might be fun for all of us to build a poem together. A perfect form for this would be the RENGA [a thousand year old form]. This is a Japanese form originated as a PARTY GAME. The great poet Matsuo Basho participated in many of these and preferred his RENGAY to have 36 stanzas. [100 -1000 verses were often done.] This form came before haiku & senryu. It combines the best characteristics of both 1) a sense of season and 2) humor.

The RENGAY is written in alternating stanzas of three lines and two lines.

It DOES NOT read like a story.

Each is linked to the one before it BUT NOT the one before that ...


SHOW us your skill at making IMAGES

Show us connections we have never thought of before!


Verse one must contain an image suggesting SEASON & PLACE

{PS I've never done this before maybe Chris has so hopefully he will PIPE :) in?]

Here goes [no strict 5/7/5 but Ok if you must]





frost crystals

creep up the window pane

wet boots


icicles sparkle lighting up

the dark frozen landscape


the rising sun

draws neighbors outside

snow angels


laughter from the back yard

little devils with snow balls


the garden shed's

open door slams shut

stray cat


long purple shadows

stripe the well trod lane


a frill of snow

coils along the lane

craters on the moon


the curve of the white cats

bushy tail rounds the corner


two yellow eyes

stare at the winter moon

coyotes' howl


a shot gun fires

momentarily stilling the night


 a chorus 

calls and responds

 cloud covered moon


mother hollers

for more firewood


landing lights

blink red and white --

wood smoke


the TV voices leak

through the open window


while on the porch

puffs of white rise

grampa's pipe 


 the crow warms on a branch

over the dryers vent


snowbirds take flight 

across a pink sky

thaw


a hungry mouse

scurries toward lunch crumbs

unused mittens




Add one in a comment then I will add it here!

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  1. Date: 1/6/2014 9:04:00 PM
    Smart tweak on mine, Deb...pulling personal "your" now cleaner, more traditional (good!) just jimbo

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  1. Date: 1/6/2014 9:28:00 AM
    Thanks Adam, Catie & Jimbo, remember to relate it ONLY to the verse above

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    Hapworth Avatar Adam Hapworth Date: 1/6/2014 9:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I think I skipped over Catie.. sorry :)
  1. Date: 1/6/2014 9:21:00 AM
    how about....snowbirds take flight / across pink skies / bare branches squeak

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/6/2014 9:27:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    that's the idea Catie-Did it would have worked. I tried to stay with your warming trend but SHOW
  1. Date: 1/6/2014 9:00:00 AM
    hungry mouse scurries/ under watchful eye of black/ childs mittens dry

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    Hapworth Avatar Adam Hapworth Date: 1/6/2014 9:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    hungry mouse scurries/ watchful black eyes track snack/ childs mittens dry (Just in case I needed to seperate the first two lines)
  1. Date: 1/6/2014 8:23:00 AM
    snowbirds take flight / across pink skies / North Pole shifts

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/6/2014 8:35:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    can't use the third line Catie-did it's not so to speak 'in the frame' stay with factual observation
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 10:16:00 PM
    the crow warms on a branch/ over your dryer vent

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 7:28:00 PM
    Don't forget the next one's a 2 liner!

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 7:12:00 PM
    while on the porch/puffs of white rise/grampa's pipe

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 7:19:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    hmmmm tricky!!
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 4:18:00 PM
    Less is more Roy both call & wail & respond is not all necessary to get the picture- vocabulary wise - drop all your free verse words all your intellectual highbrow vocab [this was SO hard for me] 10% of the senryu is on the page the rest is to appear in the readers mind by inference & sensory suggestion

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 4:43:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    don't get me wrong [that sounded mean/fret] I LOVE my words but these forms as Jack Kerouac put it must " be as simple as porridge and yet make you see the real thing."
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 3:52:00 PM
    two yellow eyes/ stare at the winter moon/ coyotes' howl/ // a chorus of wails/ call and respond/ a cloud occludes the moon

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 4:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    yup Roy you got the idea now - to advance further the connect between yours and the one before it the connection needs be possible but more surprising remember we can use senryu types too
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 2:49:00 PM
    Roy we can not tell what you are reffering too each 3 liner or 2 liner must be able to stand on its own as well as refer to only the one above it, I will guess you mean the cat, in the 3 liner, two of the lines must be connected grammatically & you must use sensory images or the next person has nothing concrete to play off of...

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 1:07:00 PM
    demanding entrance/imperious manners /chilly gratitude

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 10:57:00 AM
    fibrils of snow/ coil along the lane/ robing frail moon's eyes....

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 2:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    since fibril is like monofilament wire/strand maybe frill [like embellishment] would work better & since what appears as the moon's eyes are the craters we can use that and stay subjective
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 11:06:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    nette dear please stay objective? use words which give sensory input & are not personifying -- take another whack at it- give me two lines
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 1/5/2014 11:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    what's a fibril?
  1. Date: 1/5/2014 9:49:00 AM
    Thanks Andie everyone remember to ONLY play off the one before you and TRY to show us a connection we haven't seen before!

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 9:45:00 AM
    a snow ball hits me/ laughter from the next yard/ snow devils (sorry,this is all I could come up with in the moment. Usually I take half an hour trying to come up with something even halfway good as a haiku!)

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  1. Date: 1/5/2014 9:14:00 AM
    thank you Yassie! NEXT? batter batter batter?

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My Past Blog Posts

 
SHUF Home of Experimental Poetics
Date Posted: 7/22/2014 3:52:00 PM
Grrrr PS please STOP
Date Posted: 7/17/2014 8:27:00 AM
Dead Snakes
Date Posted: 7/15/2014 11:30:00 AM
I got 'splaining to Do!
Date Posted: 7/7/2014 11:03:00 AM
Sijo
Date Posted: 6/14/2014 3:42:00 PM
Tincture - A Fine Magazine
Date Posted: 6/5/2014 3:22:00 PM
Smart and Small, Yet Says it All
Date Posted: 6/1/2014 5:42:00 PM
I'm Waiting!!
Date Posted: 5/27/2014 8:22:00 PM
Help Me
Date Posted: 5/17/2014 12:40:00 PM
Last Call Anyone Else want help? Spring haiku Contest
Date Posted: 5/13/2014 11:37:00 AM
Some Good Advise
Date Posted: 5/9/2014 3:21:00 PM
Andrea Dietrich, Joanne Grisetti, Susan Burch
Date Posted: 4/14/2014 9:17:00 AM
A Ghost Hunt by Jack Horne
Date Posted: 4/9/2014 5:32:00 PM
Intro to a VERY Friendly Publisher
Date Posted: 4/6/2014 5:17:00 PM
Thoughts on Faith
Date Posted: 3/29/2014 7:07:00 PM
God, Spring, Resurrection & Reincarnation
Date Posted: 3/21/2014 7:49:00 PM
What did you look like at Five?
Date Posted: 3/12/2014 9:00:00 PM
Writing, Writing, Writing
Date Posted: 3/6/2014 2:02:00 PM
Susan Burch [Black Eyed Susan]
Date Posted: 2/28/2014 12:24:00 PM
Five MONTHLY Poetry Magazine
Date Posted: 2/26/2014 2:21:00 PM
Haibun
Date Posted: 2/11/2014 10:41:00 AM
The Crown Polished
Date Posted: 2/6/2014 6:24:00 PM
The LAST Jewel in the Crown the 7th Sonnet
Date Posted: 2/5/2014 10:16:00 AM
6th Jewel in the Crown
Date Posted: 2/4/2014 9:14:00 AM
6 th Sonnet Crown
Date Posted: 1/31/2014 3:45:00 PM

My Poems

12345678
Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
7/22/2014Peek A BooVersebaby,
7/19/2014Ride Sally RideBalladsexy,
7/19/2014sun showerHaikucelebration,
7/19/2014Turtle BridgeFree versemythology,
7/17/2014The Scent of WaterVerselife,
7/15/2014The Great Turtle and Sky Woman Rhymemythology,
7/12/2014The Clarity of EyeSonnetuplifting,visionary,
7/11/2014Shattered StagesVerseloss,
7/4/2014Debbie's Rhyme SchemaVersefun,
7/1/2014Moonlight KissesGhazalsea,
6/25/2014SomnabulantSijonature,
6/24/2014Going DownLimericklust,
6/24/2014Dick's PickLimerickgirlfriend,
6/24/2014PenanceVersefaith,
6/17/2014Lord Harry's FrontLimerickfunny,gender,
6/13/2014Sea SawVersesea,
6/10/2014Dream CatchersSijoappreciation,change,
6/9/2014Glass BellsFree versebeauty,
6/7/2014The Virgin, the Villian and the Black DogSonnetlost love,
6/2/2014Munch's Moon Verselonely,longing,
5/18/2014Smiling CharmedVersetime,
5/17/2014The Day's MourningTerzanellebereavement,
5/16/2014blonde bombshellSenryudeath,
5/16/2014I See Your ShellTerza Rimaabuse,introspection,sad l
5/15/2014AwashTerzanellenature,sad,
12345678

My Photos


Fav Poems

1234
Poem TitleFormCategories
GodFree verselife,mystery,
Hard TimesCowboycowboy-western,family,fun
For Things Once CountedRhymeintrospection,loss,uplift
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Defender of the WastesFree verseart,life,parody,world,
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this is why i woo wordsVerseart,inspirational,philoso
ForbearFree versesad,
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SplatteredI do not know?life
EchoQuatrainlost lovewords,love,
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Respectfully, Emily DickinsonLyricintrospection
Give the End Back to the BeginningFree versededication,faithme,
The Bruised and Rotting PearCoupletfaith,hope
flyFree verseanimals
ABC's for a Young CaptainABClife
Not Entirely About Living In New YorkFree verselifeworld,light,light,
WoodcutterI do not know?warold,old,
DreamsFree versefaith,forgiveness
A Feed of ChipsNarrativefunny
Weep O WillowsVersedeath
Harlem BluesFree verseblack-african amerchildre
Summers EverlastingFree versenostalgia
1234

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
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