Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Just That Archaic Poet's Blog

About Just That Archaic Poet
(Show Details...)
Bloggers Photo

I've always wanted to title my "Bio", "Highlights of a Low-Life" and I'll be damned if I didn't Google that title and it has already been used by someone  else. Figures!

So, here's a bit about me: my name is Chan Hurst. I've been writing poetry,  short-stories, essays and memoirs for 25 years. My forte, though, is "Rhyme"  and I consider it to be the only "true" form of poetry. I know: quite a  debatable, controversial and fascist belief, but this is my fervent conviction,  for which I am unapologetic and shall never waver.

My greatest poetic  influences include Poe, Shelley, Keats and Dickinson. If you are looking for  "odes to nature" or "grandma" or some other mundane topic, I am definitely NOT  the poet to read. I write what's in my Soul, and stay true to my  aesthetic.

I'm 35, gay, partnered for the past 5 years and married in my  own mind and heart. I have 5 children: 2 dogs and 3 cats. I am physically and  mentally disabled, suffer from numerous mental illnesses, am an addict/alcoholic  who also suffers with chronic pain. I'm a highly opinionated introvert with a  staggering IQ (I'm not modest when it comes to intelligence). What you are about  to read now is a paper I wrote as an introduction about myself to my fellow  classmates in one of my many failed attempts at higher  education:

    I am of the opinion that unless you are  some kind of celebrity, no one wants to hear your life story.  Since I find  99.9% of the human race utterly uninteresting, I have no desire to hear about  your plights or triumphs so I don’t expect you to want to hear mine. I’m a  misanthropist, damn it. A jaded Cynic. Would you expect anything less?

 Ok, OK! You asked for it. You want to know so badly? Well, then, I’ll  tell you. I’m a self-professed geek. Yes, I acknowledge as much. It seems that  in today’s age, being a geek is much more chic and “in” than it used to be.  Thank goodness media expands our limits and perceptions of “coolness”. I mean,  hats off to such influences as “Big Bang Theory”, right? You remember all those  reasons you made fun of nerds and geeks in school? Yeah, well, apply them to me.  And may the Force be with you as you live long and prosper. Insert “smiley face”  emoticon.

 Now I will cryptically and enigmatically tell you how un-exactly deep  my well of coolness allegedly is. This will all sound pretty flakyy so feel free  to roll your eyes or LOL wherever you see fit.  Ok, you ready? Thought not,  but here we go anyway: I am that person, that friend of a friend of a friend,  who has seen and experienced the most indescribably incredible things your mind  can fathom on dark and stormy nights.  I’ve had the kind of close  encounters that those weird people on TV swear and attest are true. I’ve  underwent the kind of mind-blowing revelations that those levitating Tibetan  monks or jungle medicine men have probably known for eons. A hit of Timothy  Leary on the end of your tongue on a bright and sunny spring day brings the  universe and life into perspective. But so does walking in the Shoes of  Insanity!

 What else? Hmmmmm. Ok, well, like many of you, I’ve had a number of  adventures in my 34 years on earth. Like what? Patience, young Padawan; I’m  getting to that. For example: I lived overseas with the Kiwis for a time in New  Zealand. I’ve lived high on the hog, but also roamed skid row (but not with  Sebastian Bach). My fashionable myriad of mental maladies have shown me the  inside of The Cuckoo’s Nest on more than one occasion. I’ve nearly died more  times than I can attempt to count. I have climbed the heights of pure Nirvana  and suffered tragedy of the Shakespearean kind. I’ve had organs removed and a  toe amputated. Loved and lost; hated and gained. I’ve been locked up, tied down  and shot at. Just to name a few...    

 I mean, so I got kicked out of a private Christian school in the tenth  grade; hasn’t that happened to everyone? Is going to class on acid really that  big of a deal in the grand scheme of things? Does it really matter that I almost  killed an up and coming country music star back in the 90’s? Or that I used to  dabble in the occult and dress like Dracula? Why are you shaking your head at  me? Who are you, Saint Peter?

 Like most of you, I’ve had various careers over the years; everything  from the educator of your children (I know, someone did indeed drop the ball  when they hired me) and street pharmacist (the money was good!). Years ago, I  enjoyed being the night manager at a hotel (so what if I routinely fell asleep  and slept with the guests?). Once, I had the distinct displeasure of working for  UPS as a truck loader (if any of your packages got smashed or were lost, I  apologize). I’ve been a cashier one too many times (my bad if you got  short-changed). Flipped my share of burgers (what do you mean yours was “raw”?).  In 2006 I worked with the criminally insane (I know, right up my alley!) but  quit two weeks later after I was nearly choked to death. Yeah, I’ve done a  little of everything. What am I doing now you ask? Wouldn’t you like to  know!

Oh, lest I forget, can I get an “AMEN!” if you, too, have perpetrated  embarrassing acts that made your father wince and your mother cry? Can I get a  “HELL YEAH!” if you’ve partied too much and wound up in the slammer or  slept with someone who looked much better when you were drunk? Can I get a fist  bump from all my fellow “He-Whores” and “Jessebels”? No? What a bunch of prudish  pansies! Like I’m the only one who’s gotten too loaded and told everybody I  could play the bongos with my feet? Don’t act like you’ve never passed out in  public or urinated on the side of a church!

 Like everybody else, I could go on and on, yadda yadda yadda with some  blah blah blah, but I think you get the gist of it. I'm a weirdo; a freak and  geek, but damn proud of it. I am unconventional, controversial, unorthodox and  fascist. Hope that's not a problem for you lol.

 

 


Mr. Popularity!!!!!!


Blog Posted:11/1/2013 10:12:00 AM
I originally posted this in the "Fun & Humor" section of the forum, and since we've established that not a lot of people check the forums (I'm just kidding!!) I decided to repost it here so maybe a few more people would read about my experience ;)

So I have this huge, beautiful, hard-cover book of Poe's collected work (over 1,000 pages!), all black and gold with gold-tinted pages, and I took it with me to the doctor's office this morning. I always take a book with me for a dr.'s appointment, but never have I ever had such a reaction as I had today, toting that big book with me. At first, people thought I was reading the Bible, but when they saw Poe's name on the cover, I had all sorts of people talking to me, and mind you, I'm not a big "talker" (introvert that I am!). First thing this lady said to me was, "I always see people reading at the doctor's office, but I've never seen anyone reading Poe. You must be very smart!". I couldn't help but to smile; that made me feel good. And I had my glasses on so I guess I looked a little "intellectual". So I had people in the lobby talking with me about Poe, then when I saw my doc, I had yet another interesting conversation with him about the book. (My doc and I always discuss the book I'm reading; he's a voracious reader as well). Then, while I waited for my scripts to be filled, another gentleman approached me, and wanted to discuss "The Raven". Poe's very name alone sparks intrigue and interest, and I have never been so popular in one morning as I have been this morning, all because of good ol' Edgar Allan. Suffice it to say that I had a more interesting morning than I had ever imagined.

This happened a while back, but since it's autumn and Halloween has just come and went, it's always my favorite time of the year to read Poe. Inevitably, he always inspires me, either with his tales, essays or poems. "The Poetic Principle" is a great read for every poet. I don't agree with everything Poe has to say on the matter, but overall I do agree with most of it. I'll wrap up this little anecdote with my favorite poem by Poe, entitled "To:______". Hope you all enjoy it as much as I do :)

I heed not that my earthly lot
Hath little of Earth in it,
That years of love have been forgot
In the hatred of a minute:
I mourn not that the desolate
Are happier, sweet, than I,
But that you sorrow for my fate
Who am a passer-by.

When I have terrible arguments with loved ones, I always try to keep verses 3 & 4 in mind; they hold such great truth for me. Anyway, hope everyone had a great Halloween. If you ever feel devoid of inspiration, I suggest reading some Poe to get the creative juices flowing ;)

Thanks for reading! ~Chan aka JTAP

Please Login
 
  1. Date: 11/2/2013 11:57:00 AM
    You're a genius writer. This BLOG was super entertaining and interesting. You are such a passionate and caring person. I admire your work !

    Login to Reply
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 11/2/2013 12:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    *are warming lol
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 11/2/2013 12:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    aWWWWW! Shucks lol. Thanks, Karen. Your words and warming and humbling; I appreciate them so very much <3
  1. Date: 11/1/2013 6:55:00 PM
    Yup I did I saw Ender's Game by Orson Scot Card in my opinion one of the best writers of the 20th century [him & Ann Rice!]

    Login to Reply
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 11/2/2013 8:00:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I <3 Anne Rice; she's one of my favorite authors :)
  1. Date: 11/1/2013 5:39:00 PM
    Tnks for sharing your thoughts and these powerful verses by a great persona such as E.A.P..Halloween was great ..At home with some pumpkin soup..I managed to do an ugly face in it with parsley : )..Some halloween sweets too.Of course i had kids knocking on the door for trick and treating..It was treating : )

    Login to Reply
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 11/2/2013 7:59:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks for reading, Charm :)
  1. Date: 11/1/2013 5:38:00 PM
    this is an excellent blog for our "forum" haha. I mean it though. SUPERB blog very fitting for this time of year. I ought to bring a book by Einstein to some place and look like I am reading it. But no, then they will be asking me all kinds of questions I can't even answer!! It's so cool that you like Poe. He is not a big favorite of mine but I sure love some of his stories, particularly the one where a guy gets cemented in behind a wine cellar wall! /cask of Amontillado? Something like that.

    Login to Reply
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet Date: 11/2/2013 7:59:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks so much, Andrea! :)

My Past Blog Posts

 
What's So Phunny?
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 12:32:00 PM
In Out Up Down
Date Posted: 8/20/2014 1:11:00 AM
Salutations, my dear friends!
Date Posted: 8/9/2014 12:51:00 PM
Trouble-Makers!
Date Posted: 3/26/2014 11:19:00 AM
Through the Looking Glass
Date Posted: 3/21/2014 2:00:00 PM
I'm Ready for My Close Up, Mr. DeMille!!!!!
Date Posted: 3/18/2014 5:22:00 PM
Artpocalypse PentaStar
Date Posted: 3/3/2014 1:28:00 PM
So Mad I Can't See Straight!!!!! : Seeing Stars
Date Posted: 2/20/2014 11:35:00 AM
Inappropriate Laughter: A Series of Short but Embarrassing Memoirs
Date Posted: 2/17/2014 4:22:00 PM
New/Old Collage Art Piece :)
Date Posted: 2/12/2014 12:39:00 AM
More Pentagram/Optical Art
Date Posted: 2/8/2014 4:20:00 AM
You Wanna Know Something that Gets on My Nerves?
Date Posted: 2/3/2014 12:30:00 PM
Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental Ward!
Date Posted: 1/28/2014 10:13:00 PM
Memoir: Crashing "Women's Studies"; Feminists, BEWARE! lol
Date Posted: 1/25/2014 1:42:00 PM
My Pentagram Art; let me know what you think! :) ~Chan
Date Posted: 1/16/2014 6:08:00 AM
THE KING AND MASTER OF POETRY!!!!! KNEEL!
Date Posted: 1/7/2014 12:20:00 PM
Click for a Surprise...!?
Date Posted: 12/31/2013 10:32:00 PM
Do We, As Artists, Have The Right to Change Our Work?
Date Posted: 12/23/2013 11:12:00 AM
Coming Clean
Date Posted: 12/17/2013 5:01:00 PM
Paper-Cup Porsche: Memoir from the Mental Ward
Date Posted: 12/3/2013 8:38:00 AM
Collage Art: Warning, May Be Offensive!
Date Posted: 12/1/2013 5:13:00 AM
More Visual Poetry: Collage Art
Date Posted: 11/25/2013 7:48:00 AM
IT'S A TRAP!!!!!
Date Posted: 11/20/2013 6:21:00 AM
UP IN SMOKE! VISUAL POETRY! IN YOUR FACE, BISHES!
Date Posted: 11/12/2013 5:14:00 AM
From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration?
Date Posted: 11/5/2013 4:54:00 PM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
8/9/2014Grey AreaRhymedark,truth,world,
8/9/2014The Plot ThickensRhymegod,judgement,life,truth,
8/9/2014GlossophobicLight Poetryfear,world,
8/9/2014Only God Knows and Time Will TellRhymechange,god,time,
4/3/2014Anti-PsychoticRhymepain,
3/22/2014Science FrictionRhymespace,stars,
3/21/2014An Exercise in VersatilityVersepoetry,self,
3/19/2014Pas de DeuxRhymelove,
3/18/2014Do Not Read and Operate Heavy Machinery or EquipmentRhymedream,heart,poems,
3/6/2014Inder the UnfluenceCoupletdrink,humor,wine,
2/20/2014PsychomanteumRhymeheart,spiritual,
2/19/2014RosettaI do not know?confusion,nonsense,
2/19/2014What's Weighing Heavy on My HeartRhymelost love,
2/17/2014She Sold Her Soul in a Bathroom MirrorRhymeevil,satire,woman,
2/12/2014The Last SonRhymeart,truth,winter,
2/11/2014What Gets On My NervesNarrativeanger,angst,how i feel,
2/10/2014Surgical BlueFree versehealth,me,satire,
2/8/2014Restless NativesSonnetboat,journey,ocean,
2/7/2014Casting CouchSonnetart,god,life,
2/5/2014Hemlock ValentineRhymedeath,fire,grave,heart,lo
2/4/2014Veracious Vainglorious Vivacious Vixen: Very Virtuous, Very ViciousRhymebeauty,woman,
2/1/2014I'm Gonna Need a TransplantRhymeabuse,addiction,drink,
1/31/2014Assault and PepperRhymehow i feel,
1/28/2014Bionic Betty: Another True Tale from the Mental WardNarrativecrazy,woman,
1/26/2014Nothing's NewRhymefun,morning,poems,sun,wom
1/25/2014Memoir: Crashing Women's Studies- Feminists, BEWARE lolNarrativeart,funny,poetry,social,w
1/25/2014Social ClimberRhymedeath,father,heaven,money
1/24/2014Rubicons and OubliettesRhymeemotions,feelings,
1/23/2014Water BrothersRhymebeauty,brother,death,wate
1/7/2014Poking the BeastRhymeanger,fire,violence,
1/6/2014Humble Pie, AnyoneProsehow i feel,introspection,
1/1/2014Room ServiceLyriclust,romance,sexy,
12/31/2013One-Trick-PonyRhyme 
12/18/2013The FoolRhymebaby,fun,horse,humorous,m
12/18/2013Coming CleanNarrativeanger,conflict,introspect
12/17/2013Perfectly TerribleRhymeanger,beautiful,conflict,
12/3/2013Paper-Cup Porsche: True Tale from the Mental WardNarrativeblack african american,cr
12/3/2013Gardens GreyRhymebeauty,celebrity,characte
12/2/2013Darth ExactitudeRhymecharacter,fantasy,star,wa
12/1/2013All We Have is HopeFree versecancer,conflict,hope,how
11/28/2013Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow FonderLight Poetryheart,how i feel,lonely,l
11/28/2013Twice the ChristRhymechristian,death,god,humor
11/21/2013I Think of You More Than You Think I DoLight Poetryheart,husband,i love you,
11/20/2013Love is a LieRhymegod,heart,love,love hurts
11/11/2013Have My Cake and Eat It, TooRhymecrazy,future,self,vanity,
11/6/2013Damage Control: An Apology PoemRhymeheart,poets,sorry,
11/5/2013From Great Pain Comes Great InspirationNarrativeanger,bereavement,best fr
11/5/2013Tug of WarRhymecrazy,pain,sorrow,war,
11/5/2013Believe It or NotRhymeanger,angst,god,lonely,lo
11/5/2013As God As My WitnessRhymeconfusion,dream,joy,life,
11/4/2013The Throne of Bone and StoneRhymedream,sad,sin,sleep,world
11/3/2013A Rational ExplanationRhymedeath,feelings,life,war,w
11/1/2013HorrorscopeRhymechange,self,space,stars,
10/30/2013Call Me Monday When I've Made My MillionsRhymedeath,heart,kiss,lost lov
10/29/2013An Ounce of PretentionRhymefuture,heart,
10/29/2013Burning ManRhymefire,grief,journey,sad,tr
10/28/2013I'll Have Another, and Keep'em Comin'Rhymeangst,drink,heart,poets,s
10/28/2013Glad-He-Ate-HerRhymeanger,violence,war,
10/27/2013Lazy ManRhymelove,self,
10/27/2013Escape ArtistRhymeheart,hope,lost love,poet
10/27/2013BlackoutRhymedeath,faith,life,sorrow,w
10/26/2013Around in CirclesRhymesleep,truth,
10/26/2013A Journey Through EternityRhymeanger,future,happiness,ho
10/23/2013Exercising My DemonsRhymeevil,heaven,religion,
10/23/2013Knock, KnockRhymecrazy,heart,self,song,sor
10/17/2013Damn You, EveRhymedance,heaven,innocence,lo
10/17/2013Romance the ChanceRhymebeauty,dance,hate,journey
10/17/2013The One Least LikelyRhymeemotions,sorrow,
10/17/2013Try as They MightRhymeart,people,poems,poetry,p
10/15/2013In the MeantimeRhymepain,
10/14/2013It's Hard to be a Rhymer in a Free-Verse WorldRhymeart,poetry,
10/14/2013A God Among MenRhymebody,heart,men,sky,
10/12/2013You Love Me More Than You Love YourselfLight Poetrychildren,grave,love,my ch
10/12/2013Spreading the SeedRhymedesire,fun,lust,sexy,
10/12/2013Burying the HatchetRhymegrief,pain,time,today,
10/11/2013What Would You Take Contest EntryNarrativefriend,husband,lost,music
10/11/2013Run for Your Lives--Them's Fightin' WordsRhymeconflict,fear,friend,pain
10/11/2013I'll Drink to ThatRhymeaddiction,drink,marriage,
10/10/2013Angel in Your Eyes Contest EntryRhymeangel,
10/10/2013Why Can't I Be Young, Rich and ThinNarrativeart,beauty,desire,imagina
10/8/2013Take Two and Call Me in the MorningRhymeangst,sick,
10/7/2013Twenty-Below ZeroRhymetime,trust,
10/5/2013You and I and I and YouFree verseanger,beautiful,corruptio
10/4/2013Leave a Message After the BeepFree verseabsence,dark,death,drink,
10/3/2013Delusions of Grandeur- Bon VoyageRhymejourney,stars,time,world,
10/3/2013The Verdict Is InRhymeevil,time,violence,
10/3/2013Alone with My ThoughtsRhymecolor,death,pain,truth,
10/2/2013PHARM FreshRhymeaddiction,love,
9/29/2013A Happy EndingRhymehappiness,life,love,pain,
9/29/2013No Assembly RequiredLight Poetrydeath,flying,travel,
9/29/2013Come Out, Come Out- Wherever You AreRhymelost,pain,peace,sleep,
9/26/2013Playing with FireRhymeanger,fire,heart,violence
9/26/2013Strange BathfellowsRhymebooks,humorous,insect,
9/25/2013I'll Gladly Pay You TuesdayLight Poetryfood,money,
9/25/2013Meet Me HalfwayRhymelost love,violence,
9/25/2013Thank You Lord, AmenRhymeevil,god,sick,sorrow,time
9/25/2013To Make Matters WorseRhymedeath,dream,friend,love,s
9/24/2013The Truth Isn't Always KindRhymelife,truth,
9/24/2013Hammer to a Concrete HeartRhymefear,heart,writing,
9/23/2013Life is Sweet in Honey-HivesRhymeflower,life,sweet,

My Photos


ps_25129_1363016285693_593611_n.jpg

Fav Poems

Poem TitleFormCategories
The King of SanctimoniousRhymehumorous,metaphor,
I Think of YouRhymefriendship,loss,
A Beautiful LoveFree verselove,relationship,
Death Will Not Come For MeRhymedeath,evil,life,magic,
Leonardo DiCaprioRhymecelebrity,film,for him,ho
ALCOHOLFree verseaddiction,
Chaff vs Wheat - ReliefRhymeangst,goodbye,lost love,r
Fate's OccasionIambic Pentameterbeautiful,beauty,emotions
Heaven For A PoetRhymedream,fantasy,heaven,insp
NevermoreRhymehorror,poetry,tribute,wri
The Dead Of WinterQuatraindark,death,lonely,winter,
Oh Love, Fair LoveRhymeloss,lost love,lovelife,l
William part 2Balladeblack african american,gr
Bending BackwardBallad 
Popcorn MusicRhyme 
Rhyme MasterCouplet 
The Horde's PrayerVerseangel,
Come Sit by My SideTail-rhymefor her,marriage,moving o
DreamingCouplethumor,humorous,poets,
Let my heart be your pillowRhymebeauty,
The Other SideRhymeabsence,allegory,analogy,
Shocks Of Electrifying EmotionRhymelove,romantic,
A Dedication To The ManRhymededication,friendship,
EdinburghFree versededication,hope,life,love
A Stone in the ColdSonnetpassion,
In SearchFree versebeautiful,bible,god,
DUFFY DEANRhymecat,
Stalking The Stalker: Peter Pan CanFree versedark,
Pirates CoveRhymefunny,humorous,poetry,sea

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Karen Anglesey United States Flag United States Read
Allan Koven United States Flag United States Read
Richard Lamoureux Canada Flag Canada Read
Danesh Morgan Singapore Flag Singapore Read
Kelly Deschler United States Flag United States Read
Mustapha Mohammed Trinidad and Tobago Flag Trinidad and Tobago Read
Joseph Matose Zimbabwe Flag Zimbabwe Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Mark Peterson United States Flag United States Read
robin davis United States Flag United States Read
Laura Breidenthal United States Flag United States Read
Sophia Valentina United States Flag United States Read
Caleb Smith United States Flag United States Read
Rick Richardson United States Flag United States Read