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Mandy Tams The Golden Girl's Blog

About Mandy Tams The Golden Girl
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I don't want you to get bored looking at me and hubby in the garden last year, so I'll show it to you in the daylight, my refuge where the foxes wander.
There is not much that many of you don't know about me now, I enjoy a good laugh and if I can find one I will. If I can make someone smile my day is complete. I enjoy people and people watching but do not suffer fools easily, mainly because my dad told me I would be one when I grew up, and I think he may have been right.
I was born in Yorkshire and the extended family are still there but we now live in Staffordshire, we being my husband of 33 years and our two sons, well one of them has left and lives with his partner a girl whom we love dearly.
My latest hobby is writing and from this I am learning a great deal from and about people, that write.
My latest, latest thing to keep me occupied is making myself a nice new fleece top, it's getting cold and my old one; which must be 12 years old has had to be sent to a better place and I miss it already RIP>

 

Most Recent Blog Post


Toilet Humour
Blog Posted:7/16/2013 4:50:00 AM

 

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked: 'WW', 'WA', 'PP' and 'ATR'. 

Making the mistake so many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him. He carefully pressed the WW button and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom. He thought "Wow,these gals really have it nice." So a little more boldly he pressed the WA button and body temperature Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably. "Aha" he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services." So he pushed the next button PP with anticipation. A soft disposable Powder Puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc. "Man, this is great," he thought as he reach out for the ATR button. 


When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off. Confused, he buzzed the nurse to find out what happened. He explained the last thing he remembered was intense pain in the ladies room on the plane. The nurse explained, "Yes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the Automatic Tampon Removal button. By the way, your penis is under your pillow."
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  1. Date: 7/18/2013 1:42:00 PM
    - Mandy ........... (I was almost embarrassed) ....... lol!!! Love you! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

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  1. Date: 7/17/2013 6:23:00 PM
    omg Mandy this is too funny..and speaking for the menfolk out there..OUCH!!!!

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  1. Date: 7/17/2013 6:30:00 AM
    lol Mandy ...Seren

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  1. Date: 7/17/2013 2:50:00 AM
    Mandy dear....this was SO funny! I kept wondering what would happen and I never saw that punch line coming! :) Thanks for bringing a smile...hope you are recuperating well. Hugs!!!!!!

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  1. Date: 7/16/2013 2:34:00 PM
    Thank the good lord I don't press strange buttons!

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  1. Date: 7/16/2013 10:54:00 AM
    this one left me in stitches ..nice one Mandy

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 7/16/2013 1:51:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    you didn't press the button did you Joseph ..ouch xx

My Past Blog Posts

 
LOL
Date Posted: 3/1/2014 1:16:00 PM
IS IT THE SECOND COMING?
Date Posted: 2/16/2014 10:57:00 AM
PHILOSOPHY IMPORTANT
Date Posted: 1/15/2014 3:36:00 AM
Get Well Soon Frank. mummy style humour for you
Date Posted: 1/11/2014 8:31:00 AM
LOOK CAREFULLY
Date Posted: 1/5/2014 4:17:00 AM
MY CHALLENGE PEACE ON THE EARTH AND GOODWILL TO ALL MEN
Date Posted: 12/31/2013 4:07:00 AM
Onions and Christmas Trees
Date Posted: 12/9/2013 6:46:00 AM
Flow Chart Managment
Date Posted: 11/15/2013 5:47:00 AM
LOL
Date Posted: 11/14/2013 4:50:00 AM
Hi
Date Posted: 11/11/2013 5:39:00 AM
My reaction to Spiders too
Date Posted: 11/4/2013 4:08:00 AM
Rules for dating my sons
Date Posted: 11/3/2013 6:33:00 AM
The moment you realise it's ony Tuesday.
Date Posted: 11/1/2013 7:20:00 AM
Thoughts and Thanks
Date Posted: 10/15/2013 8:45:00 AM
Cool yae or nae
Date Posted: 10/3/2013 6:48:00 AM
Hi
Date Posted: 9/12/2013 5:47:00 AM
Hi
Date Posted: 9/7/2013 3:33:00 AM
Pull Buddy Pull
Date Posted: 8/15/2013 7:38:00 AM
When A Woman says 'what'
Date Posted: 8/13/2013 7:39:00 AM
Finally found a good plumber
Date Posted: 8/5/2013 1:31:00 AM
Yes and Eys
Date Posted: 8/2/2013 10:08:00 AM
HAPPY YORKSHIRE DAY
Date Posted: 8/1/2013 12:36:00 AM
ONE TOO MANY
Date Posted: 7/30/2013 11:36:00 AM
Fancy Cooking
Date Posted: 7/23/2013 1:02:00 AM
Toilet Humour
Date Posted: 7/16/2013 4:50:00 AM

My Poems

12345678
Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
4/20/2014April 15 Ninety Six and RisingQuaternmemory,
3/28/2014Robin HoodQuatrainhistory,
3/26/2014From The TowpathSonnethistory,
3/23/2014Whitby 2012Versefantasy,
3/19/2014JamesOde how i feel,
2/3/2014YesterdayAcrosticboyfriend,
2/3/2014The FatesSonnetlove,love hurts,
1/30/2014The true story Of Fanny LynesOde history,
1/16/2014Meadow SweetSonnetlove,
1/10/2014Portrait of a LifeSonnetlove,
1/8/2014KintsuroiRhymehumor,
1/8/2014YellowVersedream,
1/1/2014PEACE ON THE EARTH AND GOODWILL TO ALL MEN CHALLENGEVerseinspirational,
12/19/2013To DawnRhymededication,
12/16/2013Christmas Is ConfusingRhymechristmas,
12/11/2013My Turn will ComeRhymemetaphor,
12/10/2013A Kiss Under The MistletoeQuatrainkiss,
12/10/2013Three Sure Signs Of Christmas repostRhymechristmas,
12/7/2013EmmanuelLyricsong,
12/3/2013From John Johnson to Guy FawkesRhymehistory,holiday,
12/2/2013A Vampire's kissRhymeevil,
12/2/2013Behind Every CloudQuatrainimagination,
11/26/2013The Death of A KingVerseimage,
11/24/2013The Sweetest WordsFree versewords,
11/24/2013On An Ordinary DayVersehumor,
12345678

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