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About Andrea Dietrich
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Andrea Dietrich grew up in Iowa and now resides in Utah with a spouse and two cats. She has two grown children and three grandchildren. Having graduated BYU with a Spanish major/ESL minor, she has spent most of her adult life teaching. It wasn't until 2000 that she began writing in earnest and discovering her "niche" as a writer of lyrical poetry. The internet opened up a new world for her, and she has spent nearly a decade now participating in poetry clubs, acting as a judge of poetry contests for various magazines and for the website Shadow Poetry, and also, entering poetry contests herself.

Ms. Dietrich has won numerous awards, as well as the title Poet of the Year 2008, from the Yahoo group, Poetry For Thought. In addition, she has won prizes from the magazines Lucidity, Bell's Letters, Art with Words, Poets at Work and SP Quill, the magazine for which she wrote grammar and poetry articles as well as movie reviews and for which she acted as poetry editor for the head editor Marie Summers for six years. Many of her poems have appeared in Shadows Ink, a yearly published series of chapbooks of award winning poetry as well as in numerous other anthologies. Her short stories appeared in many issues of SP Quill and much of her poetry is published in eight chapbooks (the most recent one soon to be published is called Prosies), which can be purchased at Shadowpoetry.com.


POSTING for NIKKO (her worst poetry)


Blog Posted:4/26/2013 5:14:00 PM
NIKKO (AKA: ENN PEE) has asked me post her worst poetry for her since she is no longer a premium member! I was actually going to ask her if the first one was a mistake or not. Then I read her footnote on it. Can you guys make it out without the translation that follows?


4T4k uv d (w0Rs+) Jej3M0n! ((60 f16Ur3 ))

jajajajaja
jej3jej3e
d1s !z gohNna
beEh kUreZzi
j3j3j3j3j3

hayZ
1 D0n\'+ kn0w h0wZ
+0 +yp3 1n j3j3m0n

m3 saDz nhow
m4k3 m3 $m173
Az iNn NowhZ NaHHH

$0 1\'m U$1n6
+h1$ +R4nzL4+0r

60 f16Ur3

c0hmb1n1n6 my 0wn
+r4n$74+10n 4$ w377

60 f16Ur3

1 D0n\'+ +3x+
+h1$ w4y

r34D1n6 +h1$
61v3$ m3 4 h34D4ch3

60 f16Ur3

j3j3j3
+17 n3x+ +1m3
D4 j3j3m0n
4++4ck$ 4641n

jajajajaja
cge nah p0h
Im/'z G0iHN nahhhh!!
j3j3j3j3j3j3j3j3


**************************
!
Worst poem
would be
this

the absoulute
is came out
from my earS

did'nt
cram 'as 'alwyas

No holds barred~
ok i'm lying...

good luck
to those who tried
to figure the above poem

jajajajajajaja!!


*Note: the above note is not a translation of the text above it...
You'd have to read the jejemon-- Jejemon is sort of a trend here (especially from years before) with some people with regards to texting-- typing in words using symbols & numbers to substitute letters to make them look cuter(?!?), & using a slew of H's, Z's...I inserted some more of my own into it jejejejeje (hehehehe)

This was the poem that I entered in
pd's first worst ever poem contest...




grossimus me

Hmm, what shall I reveal
to you about me?

Ok, how about this:
I collect punchers!
Craft punchers that is,
you know those that have
different shapes as holes?
I could, Punch, punch away all day
well not really
since it hurts my hands!

BUT
speaking of punching,
I did sock a jock
in the guts once
don't ask
why though...
haha the reason
eludes me now
wink, wink,
flying away like a bird

speaking of birds,
believe it or not,
*warning*
this is G-R-O-S-S

I actually know
what a baby bird
feels like

That part of
eating regurgitated food that is
Aack.
If you dare, read on...
if not, STOP right here.

Don't tell me I didn't warn
you.

Flashback grade school days-
me and my friends
enjoying a bag of pork rinds
and vinegar
Me now wanting to eat one last small piece
Ok, this piece is kinda soggy but
the right size

Pop in mouth
Eww too soggy!
No crunch left?! ok, just swallow
the stubborn, chewy piece...
I see my friend searching the bag
Sick to my tummy now

She was looking for that piece
that she chewed on and spit out
oh EWWwww.

fast forward
me at twenty...
family dinner
with my grandpa who loves
to pick his teeth with a toothpick

Almost done with my dinner
Oh!
One last itty bitty piece of
meat left on plate?
Was raised to finish
EVERYTHING on my plate
Pop in mouth--
ugh, cold meat and looked
weird

I glance at Daddy (my grandpa)
I look at his toothpick in hand
He smiles...horrors!!
I sorta get
a tummy ache again.
I never learn.

I never did know for
sure,
but that piece
sure looked suspicious.
*burp*

Speaking of burping,
I can belch REAL loud
I find it sorta refreshing
actually...
well, I'd rather be that
than a fartist~

haha
So what's the point of me telling
you this?
Well I suppose that I can be gross

I hope I'm not the only one!
That and that I tend to think
in a sort of chain reaction way (?)
from punchers to birds to burping
that's gross
go figure.
...now, now
let's not talk about my figure!


**written for a contest about "tell me something I do not know"--
as expected, this didn't win or place...I deleted it soon after, pretty much ashamed
that I actually posted this cringe worthy o_O poem,
but ah yes, I can laugh at myself, & now it resurfaces~!
Please Login
 
  1. Date: 4/29/2013 10:04:00 PM
    This is cute, in a kind of distorted way! Maybe even disturbing if you study it! RAY

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  1. Date: 4/28/2013 4:59:00 PM
    ... and another vote! : D

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    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 4/29/2013 12:49:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ruben, Thank you for liking my poem this much, :) haha ummm is that right? liking is the word for voting for the worst poem? I don't know anymore....
  1. Date: 4/27/2013 10:50:00 AM
    First off, thank you so much to Andrea for posting this on my behalf. I am actually sleepy but I just wanted to say I read all the comments here. I am laughing, haha, thanks for sharing your thoughts on these. Can I just say that the "grossimus me" poem, even if it's one of my worst, cringe worthy yes but I recall having so much fun writing that, that reason went out the window but hmm yeah that info was probably not what the contest sponsor was thinking of at that time...oops!

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  1. Date: 4/27/2013 9:28:00 AM
    Ahh........dear Nikko.....you can do no wrong in my book.........but this came CLOSE !!! lol !! a far cry from our dream weaver's loom of beautiful tapestry! This rug needs a beating !!!

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  1. Date: 4/27/2013 6:35:00 AM
    Im back ... Im voting again for this one! : D !

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  1. Date: 4/26/2013 10:40:00 PM
    Hmmm.... Nope! I dont like the "texting" one. HOWEVER, "Grossimus me" is ... is ... is ... I can't find the words! : D You, dear Nikko, are "absolutely" in the competition!! : D

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  1. Date: 4/26/2013 9:33:00 PM
    You think that is gross? We used to stick our bubblegum (well chewed) to the headboard of our beds, at night - for the life of me, I cannot remember why we did this....The one morning I was woken early by a commotion in my sisters' room. They were fighting over who's chewing gum it was and insisted that the the other one spat it out and return it to the rightful owner. By the time my mother arrived on the scene, the bubblegum had been swapped and each one was happily chewing on her piece. Needless to say, my mother did not only confiscate the offending pieces, but banned bubblegum all together. Till today I do not chew bubblegum - that scene had cured me of the habit. :-) Love, Su

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  1. Date: 4/26/2013 8:18:00 PM
    I kinda enjoyed the gross one....but then...its me we're talking about. Now the first one....well...i've seen such 'code' before but I couldn't catch all of this one. What I did catch was....well....in the running. LOVE YOU NIKKO!!

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  1. Date: 4/26/2013 6:02:00 PM
    lol, I do recall both poems. the poem is definitely in the contest.... Andrea, now I'm wondering if you dare to post one... wink! wink! xox~ pd

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  1. Date: 4/26/2013 5:16:00 PM
    ah yes, I do recall that second one!!! Stunning stuff, nearly on the same level with Chris' vomiticus.

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My Past Blog Posts

 
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