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Ruben O.'s Blog

About Ruben O.
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Bloggers PhotoLadies and gentlemen: my "Sunny Sky!"

 

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To PD and Suzette: How dare you!!
Blog Posted:4/22/2013 9:53:00 PM

 

You two asked for it; here I go:

my worst poem ever!

Im sure Im beating them both

(Mr. McGonagall and Mr. Marzials).

"Sak Vid Pa Kanpe"

The only nation in the world
born of a valiant slave revolt.

The most brutal dark colony
today it's in mere agony.

But Virgine will never know it
Faint girl physically unfit

Baby and Papa Doc among
corruption, dictators, and dung.

Shoving to the sea... the future
dragging wounds without suture.

But Virgine will never know it
cause anemia made its slit.

Undersized for malnutrition.
she can't reach her own volition.

She can't drink clean drinking water
fetid diarrhea slaughters.

But Virgine will never know it
unconcerned tongues watch and spit

Her impoverished  mother's eyes
under the flood had lost her cries.

Her missed youth can carry luggage
and her shy "Mesi" accept bondage.

But her questions will not suffrage
illiterate wounds lack bandage

To "Etazini", her man sailed
his shipwreck and fears are still veiled

Unheard the endless pains and sighs
she sees the arrival of flies.

But Virgine will never know it
cause poverty digs her a pit

Footnote:

Sak vid pa kanpe: "You can't work without food" or "An empty sack does not stand"

Mesi : Thank you

Etazini : (Fr. États-Unis) "United States"


I'm never satisfied with my writing (writing! LOL!) ... but this one is above and beyond revising, editing, or redrafting. I was trying to re-write this poem for Deborah's contest ... but I couldn't!



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  1. Date: 4/25/2013 8:07:00 AM
    I like it....

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  1. Date: 4/24/2013 5:54:00 PM
    Let me chip in my worse I thinks in here, Titled: Souvenir, Unlettered Souvenir it 's lying beside the meadow/ Moving nearer the wind shut the window/ The house lord can now air out a airy state/ What echoes is this that suppresses my gate?/ Stood by the door side she gaze away and wept Like a maltreated child, scolded and un-kept/ She sat on are sofa thinking about the letters/ Perhaps they would rise and speaketh their painters/ Poor land lady soon fidget along the corridor/ she needs to find another Souvenir pack un-abhor. Note: What makes it bad I think is that i break too many grammatical rules. (I dare)

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  1. Date: 4/24/2013 6:35:00 AM
    Second thoughts: I like that you are saying something about the horrible conditions. Your lines obviously need editing, but your intentions? Ah, hon, your intentions should be left as is, Galahad. :) xox

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  1. Date: 4/23/2013 8:56:00 PM
    you know what I like about this poem... besides the offensive odor in the diarrhea... the way you used .... drink clean drinking........... I'm gonna drink a drink of drinking water. LOL.... <---- I will use this line at home. :-)

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/24/2013 8:13:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    At home!! LOL!
    Richards Avatar Suzette Richards Date: 4/23/2013 11:45:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    So, PD... Where is your offering ?
  1. Date: 4/23/2013 3:50:00 PM
    POSTED! Come and get your dung, fresh dung here, lol, actually old dung circa 2000!

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/23/2013 7:01:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Im going, it'll be my pleasure! : D
  1. Date: 4/23/2013 11:38:00 AM
    Ruben!! Ummm, a favor please? Can you please, please make the font a wee bit bigger? It is not friendly for squinty people like me-- not helping either that I have a horrible headache now-- my right eye pounding out of its socket-- but I read it, yes I did! And although I got a bit confused, you have some super gemmy lines here-- will read it again! & again!

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/23/2013 6:55:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I would change the font but ... only if you promise not to read it! LOL! Worst than this one? You're exaggerating!! : )
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 4/23/2013 11:41:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    oh btw, this sort of reminded me of pd's contest before-- "Your Worst Poem Ever"... ummm be scared to know that I won that one! First place, Ahemmm Ahemmmmmm.... ;) mine is worst I think (just my humble opinion)....
  1. Date: 4/23/2013 10:53:00 AM
    Lice was d word :))Now i remember..he taught me..but he s forgetful hehe You re an amazing poet Ruben Your worst can be the.best..i mean it

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  1. Date: 4/23/2013 10:48:00 AM
    Ruben if you call this your wort poem..then Teach me : ) Oki forget the diathes and flies..this poem still carries a message.. Anyways ...i have so too.many worse poem than this..but i leave them there to see if i ve learnt something through the way..still lot to learn.. Im sorry maybe im blind but cant see any bad poems of yours..:-$

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/23/2013 6:59:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    No, I dont remember the "lice" poem. You two (Charmaine and Nikko) are so generous with my humble poems. There is nothing I can teach you, but a lot to learn from you two.
    p.iNk Avatar binibining p.iNk Date: 4/23/2013 11:36:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I want to be in that class too!! I so agree with you Charma on how Ruben has such wonderful poems (as do you!) Can you both be my teachers?? How are you??? :D
    Chircop Avatar Charmaine Chircop Date: 4/23/2013 10:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I meant.diarheas..btw i still remember once someone posted a haiku or tanka about leiches?those onsects on people's hair when unclean and then erased it..Do you remember that?lol : )
  1. Date: 4/23/2013 8:25:00 AM
    Dear Brother Ruben,Hope this finds YOU and YOURS Healthy and High in the Spirit. This is why I do not call myself a POET. I thought this was A great POEM. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS and FOREVER YOURS, YOUR LOVING Brother...HG

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/23/2013 9:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hi, my brother Harry! It's nice to see you ... great? read it again! : D
  1. Date: 4/23/2013 8:21:00 AM
    okay this is the worst line ever ----> She can't drink clean drinking water fetid diarrhea slaughters..... Ruben, thanks for picking up on the dare. I honestly thought you were gonna post another flop flop Tragedy poem, but you are right "" A Tragedy by Theophile Marzials,"" sounds a bit better ATM. LOL.... pd

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/23/2013 9:00:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Wwaaaaa hahahahhahhahaha! I love your honesty! Yes, Mr. Marzials' poem sounds a bit better! This is so embarrasing ... but funny!
  1. Date: 4/23/2013 5:41:00 AM
    ROFLMFAO. Ruben, honey, this reminds me of the day I gave birth to my daughter... ahem... everything exposed, unable to hide parts I'd rather only show, er, a VERY select few. God love ya! I must hunt down a stinker, too, I have drawer-fulls! AND yet, I see that all poetry serves purpose, to learn, to grow, to heal, even just to provide space to bounce about, moon the world, wink and howl. PS... You had me at dung, you sweet talker. PPS... I think we should all post our ... er... growing pains! PPSS ... you are so CUTE. :)

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/23/2013 9:01:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Come on, Cyndi! You can do it! LOL!
    A  Avatar Poet Destroyer A Date: 4/23/2013 8:24:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    if not I'm just gonna post this word.... CHICKEN ---= ...-==...-== every time I run across a comment, blog, or poem by you. It's what I call the ''billy the kidster treatment. :-)
    A  Avatar Poet Destroyer A Date: 4/23/2013 8:16:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    okay, now I dare Cyndi to post post her worst poem ever on a blog.... this has to be good....... I wonder if she even has one... now there's your ROFLMFAO. <---lol...... from the WILDCARD
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan Date: 4/23/2013 5:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    pick... lol....PICK... oh roflmao again, Virgine... pink...surrender the pink (you'd have to read Carrie Fisher to get that! Oh, ya made my morning.
    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan Date: 4/23/2013 5:42:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    PPPSS- Hunt is a misnomer. I have a hundred on soup, but just have to pink the "pongiest" of the lot.
  1. Date: 4/22/2013 10:46:00 PM
    It is..... different.....

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/22/2013 10:48:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Waaaaaaaa hahhahahhaa!

My Past Blog Posts

 
:/:/:/:/:/:/: How to Copy and Paste Comments
Date Posted: 2/4/2014 4:52:00 PM
Two New Entries in "Haiku" Form (No pun intended) ... Nature Will Take Revenge
Date Posted: 4/28/2013 9:38:00 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen: Charmaine! ... Beware!
Date Posted: 4/28/2013 4:41:00 PM
Soupers,The Competition is Getting Harder (Fanfare Music): "Vomiticus Gramaticus"
Date Posted: 4/26/2013 6:58:00 AM
To PD and Suzette: How dare you!!
Date Posted: 4/22/2013 9:53:00 PM
Condolences
Date Posted: 3/25/2013 11:38:00 PM
::::::::::::::::Helping TPS
Date Posted: 3/21/2013 7:48:00 PM
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Date Posted: 3/13/2013 4:39:00 PM
? .................(Easiest Version)
Date Posted: 1/9/2013 3:43:00 PM
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Date Posted: 12/2/2012 12:12:00 AM
John Heck Needs Our Help
Date Posted: 11/4/2012 4:30:00 PM
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-PD...I Dare You
Date Posted: 8/29/2012 12:54:00 AM
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: -:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- :-:-:-:-:-Cyndi...I dare you!
Date Posted: 8/26/2012 11:25:00 AM
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- Let's Sing to Celene!!
Date Posted: 4/26/2011 10:03:00 AM
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- :-:-:-:-:-:-:- :-:-: -:-:-:-:- :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:- HAPPY 2011 !!!
Date Posted: 12/27/2010 10:28:00 AM
Guess What?
Date Posted: 10/19/2010 7:25:00 PM
...Me!!!
Date Posted: 8/20/2010 8:28:00 PM

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