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Seren Roberts's Blog

About Seren Roberts
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Bloggers PhotoI am just me, laugh when happy, cry when sad, bleed when hurt.







Forgive me these are the last of the funnies , Honest


Blog Posted:1/15/2013 12:02:00 PM

11. 'Doc, I can't stop singing:  'The Green, Green Grass of Home.

Doc says,  'That
sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. '

Is it common, doc?'


'Well, it's not unusual.'


12. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.  'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you
can do for him?'

'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he
picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.  Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put
him down.'

'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?'

'No, because he's really heavy'


13. Guy goes into the doctor's.  'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my
bottom.'

'How's that?'

'Oh, don't you start.'



 

No 14.  What do you call
a fish with no eyes? --- a fsh.


No 15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
'Can you give me a lift?'  I said 'Sure,
you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'


No 16. 

Apparently, 1 in5 people in the world is Chinese.  There
are 5 people in my family so one of them must be Chinese.  It's either my mum or my Dad --- or my older
brother Colin --- or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu --- but I think it's Colin.


No 17.

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your
round.' The second one replies,  'So are
you, you fat bastard!'


No 18. 

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.  They charged one and let the other one off.



 No 19.

 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my
driving today.  They left a little note on the windscreen.  It said, 'Parking
Fine.' So that was nice.'


No 20 .

A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'

The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'

No 21.

 Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this
morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.  Irish search and rescue workers have
recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging
continues into the night.



Please Login
 
  1. Date: 1/16/2013 6:16:00 AM
    Some made me laugh and some were, oh well. Thanks anyway

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/16/2013 12:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I know what you mean Jancarl.. if you have never heard of Tommy Cooper they wouldnt make sense to you. I personally didnt like his comedy... But some were funny
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 9:17:00 PM
    lol... Seren.... lol.... love 18.... and 19.... and # 16 ... got me lmfao..... he he... thanks for the laugh...PD

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 11:50:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hey PD laughing again, thats my claim to fame. ...Seren
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 5:49:00 PM
    Hey, Seren!! You made me LMAO!! These are hilarious! Im printing them! : )

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 11:51:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 6:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Be my guest Ruben, they are Tommy Cooper Jokes.....Have you heard of him ....Seren
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 4:49:00 PM
    Two Nuns getting home from a late night out. Having to climb the wall to get back into the Nunnery, Sister Mary says 'Oh my, I feel like a Commando' Sister Elizabeth says ' Where are we going to get a Commando at this time of the night' ..........

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 6:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    keep them coming James ...Seren
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 3:22:00 PM
    Ahh...the luck o' the Irish!...No. 17 tore me up too!...Good stuff Seren! - Tim

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 3:31:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Tim.....Seren
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 2:43:00 PM
    Enjoyed these laughs as well !!

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 3:31:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Good they did their job then...Seren
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 2:09:00 PM
    Seren ha ha very funny...David

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 2:36:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks david
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 1:49:00 PM
    Smiles and chuckles all the way Seren, xxx

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 2:37:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks Rose
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 1:48:00 PM
    Two Nuns walking down the road. A male streaker runs by. One Nun had a stroke, the other couldn't reach :)

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 2:37:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Haha naughty James lol i am still giggling.
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 1:16:00 PM
    Sure made me laugh Seren, thanks for sharing ;)

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    Fraser Avatar James Fraser Date: 1/15/2013 4:50:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Apparently, if one pulls my ears, the headache goes ;)
    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 2:38:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    mypleasure hows the headache
  1. Date: 1/15/2013 12:22:00 PM
    brilliant love em and you xx

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    Roberts Avatar Seren Roberts Date: 1/15/2013 12:48:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks Mandy

My Past Blog Posts

 
Error on contest results
Date Posted: 2/16/2015 10:04:00 PM
LIFE IS LIKE A MAYPOLE CONTEST
Date Posted: 2/16/2015 9:18:00 AM
Are any of you having to log in continually
Date Posted: 2/10/2015 1:22:00 AM
Cowboys
Date Posted: 5/9/2014 4:53:00 AM
Help Please
Date Posted: 4/4/2014 3:29:00 AM
MY CONTEST
Date Posted: 3/13/2014 4:48:00 AM
Avatar picture
Date Posted: 9/17/2013 8:31:00 PM
HELP
Date Posted: 9/15/2013 1:37:00 PM
I have finalised my contest - What makes you tic
Date Posted: 9/14/2013 7:15:00 PM
NEW CONTEST - what makes you tick
Date Posted: 8/8/2013 11:50:00 PM
Contest results
Date Posted: 7/7/2013 7:42:00 PM
MY CONTEST
Date Posted: 6/30/2013 12:06:00 AM
painting by U.S.A.artist LAURA WHEELER WARING.
Date Posted: 6/19/2013 4:52:00 AM
PICTURE AND COLLAB. POEM
Date Posted: 6/14/2013 3:29:00 AM
CAN ANYONE ACCESS MY OUTBOXES,
Date Posted: 6/10/2013 6:27:00 AM
Thank You for all your Prayers
Date Posted: 5/5/2013 11:00:00 PM
DID YOU KNOW?
Date Posted: 4/13/2013 1:42:00 AM
HELP
Date Posted: 4/7/2013 3:42:00 PM
starlings putting on a show
Date Posted: 3/16/2013 9:20:00 AM
why do Welsh soldiers wear a leek in their hat badge
Date Posted: 3/1/2013 12:41:00 PM
MARCH 1ST,
Date Posted: 2/28/2013 1:04:00 PM
New Poems
Date Posted: 2/27/2013 7:03:00 PM
AVATAR FOR PD
Date Posted: 2/23/2013 11:15:00 AM
warning to parents lol
Date Posted: 2/23/2013 2:23:00 AM
Hope you havent heard this one before
Date Posted: 2/21/2013 8:43:00 AM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
5/4/2015 Sweet Fanny Adams Versesad,
5/3/2015 I am a Daffodil Coupletflower,
5/3/2015 Do it properly - quote contest Limerickpollution,
5/2/2015 Red hot Moon Versemoon,
5/2/2015 Moon Talk I do not know?moon,
5/1/2015 Within you - Rumi Verselife,
4/30/2015 phone number - Chat up line Versehumorous,
4/28/2015 Draining experience - flying the coop contest Free versetruth,
4/28/2015 Twinkle twinkle little star Rhymenursery rhyme,
4/26/2015 Up to date version of an old nursery rhyme lol Rhymebaby,remember,
4/25/2015 You need hands - Limerick contest Limerickhappy,
4/23/2015 Poetrysoup's Jan Limerickanti bullying,
4/20/2015 Sunday not Gumday Couplethumor,
4/20/2015 Whale of a time - dream contest Versedream,
4/18/2015 Written in the Friendship Creed Balladefriendship,future,life,
4/17/2015 Enticing romance Sapphic stanzabeautiful,spring,
4/17/2015 Eating with bigfoot Rhymefantasy,
4/17/2015 Mindful or mindless Limerickconfusion,
4/14/2015 I Icon Rhymecare,
4/14/2015 Seren Versebio,
4/14/2015 HHH - Captcha contest Acrostichope,
4/10/2015 Another memory to keep-First May contest Blank verseday,spring,
4/9/2015 Waiting for the call Senryudeath,
4/9/2015 Regrets Classicismlife,
4/4/2015 The Battle for Tiger Hill Rhymehistory,
4/2/2015 Golden Tale of Yesteryears Rhymeday,family,
4/1/2015 Close to you Rhymeclothes,
3/31/2015 lost at sea - new tanka Tankadeath,sea,
3/25/2015 Illuminating knowledge Lanternebooks,
3/23/2015 Green- the colour of Spring Versespring,
3/23/2015 Tanka 3-Top ten contest Tankalife,
3/22/2015 Memories to Cherish Verselife,
3/16/2015 The moment - tanka 2 contest Tankalove,
3/16/2015 Alone with his memories Sonnetmemory,sad,
3/16/2015 A Penny for your Thoughts Sonnetanger,
3/4/2015 Exhaustion of Living Rhymelife,
3/2/2015 PEACE Villanellepeace,
2/27/2015 Florida Nature Rhymenostalgia,
2/24/2015 A seat to sit and remember Rhymegarden,pride,
2/22/2015 Spring Abecedariancelebration,spring,
2/17/2015 Unyielding Kimomother,nature,
2/14/2015 Everywhere I think of you Rhymememory,
2/10/2015 Beyond the sun- help me name it contest Versedream,
2/8/2015 Ribbons of life Versedance,happy,
2/8/2015 Every breath I take Dodoitsuhumor,love,
2/5/2015 No Not Me - penned by Maurice Yvonne and Seren Versefriendship,
1/26/2015 River of Life Quintain (English)life,
1/25/2015 My fate My life Verselife,
1/21/2015 Steam train to the Sea Rhymetravel,
1/16/2015 Sammy the Snake - humour contest Rhymefor children,
1/16/2015 Stand by me Rhymelife,
1/11/2015 As life unfolds - smallest ant contest Rhymelife,
1/11/2015 Hope Diminished Hexaversehope,
1/11/2015 White Peacock - Visual 2 Cinquainbeautiful,bird,
1/11/2015 Son in Law's Day - Chinese New Year Rhymecelebration,
1/11/2015 War and Peace - Interlocking Rhyme Rhymelife,
1/6/2015 Dewi the Dachshund Coupletdog,old,
1/3/2015 Autumn Rhymeautumn,
1/1/2015 After Auld Lang Syne is sung Rhymebullying,drink,
12/31/2014 Noted - contest Versemusic,
12/28/2014 Loved and lost - Verselost love,love,
12/28/2014 Holiday Goodies Limerickchristmas,humor,
12/27/2014 Loneliness Verseloneliness,
12/26/2014 In the moment Versedog,stress,
12/26/2014 The Puppet Verseimagination,
12/24/2014 Veils of Autumn re-visited - Contest Couplethappy,poems,
12/24/2014 Music is for all Couplethope,music,
12/17/2014 Longing Cinquainhope,longing,
12/13/2014 Arthur Christmas Clerihewchristmas,
12/13/2014 Waiting Versehope,
12/10/2014 Within Reason- Maurice Yvonne and Seren Roberts Verselife,
11/26/2014 Santas many helpers Rhymechristmas,
11/22/2014 Frozen in Crystalline - 3 Crystallinewinter,
11/22/2014 What's up with Santa Coupletchristmas,
11/19/2014 Black Opal Rhymedesire,
11/16/2014 Great Majestic Ball Rhymedance,desire,dream,
11/10/2014 What a todo Limerickfunny,
11/8/2014 Friend or Foe Diamantenature,rain,
11/7/2014 Sequence Cinqkufirework,
11/6/2014 Spring waters of delight Rhymebaptism,love,passion,
11/5/2014 Hopalong Cassidy - Pets Contest Sonnetdog,
11/3/2014 Dust from the Past Rhymehope,house,
10/28/2014 Cascading Emotions Versebeauty,
10/24/2014 Children helping children Rhymechildren,
10/23/2014 The unicorn and the puppy fable Rhymelife,
10/21/2014 Just not as rehearsed -c'est la vie Rhymelife,
10/19/2014 Kiss Loneliness Goodbye written by Tim Smith and Seren Rhymeloneliness,lost love,
10/16/2014 Loves Tableau Verselove,
10/12/2014 Around the corner Rhymelife,
10/10/2014 Cowboy Hoe Down - Maurice Yvonne and Seren Rhymecowboy,dance,
10/9/2014 Love a pie day Coupletfood,
10/6/2014 November Dreams Sedokaart,autumn,
10/4/2014 Locked Within - chopped contest Ethereememory,
10/4/2014 Heaven Sent - Tim Smith and Seren Rhymesensual,
10/3/2014 Tilly and Ossie Rhymegoodbye,
9/30/2014 Summer Acrosticsummer,
9/27/2014 leafy road to happiness Triolethappiness,life,
9/21/2014 Passion Rises as Water Falls by Tim Smith and Seren Roberts Rhymelove,water,
9/19/2014 The not so friendly mirror Rhymemirror,
9/19/2014 The Lighthouse - Lighthouse Rhopalic Verse Contest Versesea,

My Photos


ps_boat on sand.jpg

Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
Centipedes I do not know?funny,
INTO NIGHTSCAPE Rhymeadventure,dream,mystery,
Riding Horses with Dad Rhymedad,father,sky,
You Caught The Wind Free versedeath of a friend,nostalg
My Guitar Light Poetryintrospection,philosophy,
Pointe Coupee Parish Free verseculture,death,
I AM Lyriclife,longing,love,philoso
old gnarled bench - choka contest Chokadream,
The Pathway I Will Lay For You Versefor him,romantic,
S O S - THREE HEARTS ONE CAUSE Rhymeearth,nature,
giving thanks Rhymehappiness,thanksgiving,
A Quickie Light Poetryfun,
Within Reason- Maurice Yvonne and Seren Roberts Verselife,
If I Could Free versegiving,
Organic Ecstacy Free versenature,
I'm Vinyl Baby Free versemusic,
THE BELLE OF THE BALL Rhymedance,romance,
Loneliness Verseloneliness,
Loved and lost - Verselost love,love,
After Auld Lang Syne is sung Rhymebullying,drink,
For One Pass Of Your Breath Free verselost love,love,love hurts
Je suis Charlie I do not know?allah,angel,angst,bereave
A Sea Of Love Quintain (English)water,
No Not Me - penned by Maurice Yvonne and Seren Versefriendship,
Hidden Beauty Free versebeauty,
I Think Of You - Ground Zero - 1 Free verseintrospection,
I Think Of You - But I - 2 Free verseintrospection,
I Think Of You - Upon Reflection - 3 Free verseintrospection,
I Think Of You - Where You Bloom - 4 Free verseintrospection,
I Think Of You - After The Fall - 5 Free verseintrospection,
I Think Of You - An Alternative Universe - 6 Free versebest friend,cute love,des
A Long Loud Sigh Free verseintrospection,
Plato and Socrates Ekphrasisappreciation,beauty,humor
Hot And Cold Comes The Night Free versedepression,heart,introspe
A Tulip Grows Under An Evergreen Shapebeautiful,beauty,earth,li
PAINTED DANCES Lyricbeautiful,dance,desire,de
FALLING HARD AND I CAN'T HIDE Lyricbeautiful,beauty,desire,d
Reflections on a window Free verselife,

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Jack Ellison Canada Flag Canada Read
Richard Lamoureux Canada Flag Canada Read
Suzette Richards South Africa Flag South Africa Read
Lynn Glover United States Flag United States Read
Seren Roberts United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
arthur vaso Canada Flag Canada Read
Lyric Man United States Flag United States Read
Tim Smith United States Flag United States Read
Maurice Yvonne Canada Flag Canada Read