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SaraGiroux

Date: 10/17/2012 1:32:00 PM

Hi Su! Great information about the tanka form in your blog! I wish I had read it sooner because the poems I have been writing as practice for the contest would have been much better! Back to the writing board to see if I can redo the poems to come up with one good one! Blessings ~ Sara

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AndreaDietrich

Date: 10/11/2012 11:39:00 PM

HOpe to do this one soon, my friend.

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TimRyerson

Date: 10/11/2012 2:28:00 PM

Extremely informative, Suzette...I have become fascinated with this form...still practicing and learning! - Tim

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CarolEastman

Date: 10/11/2012 12:49:00 PM

Wow... you can be VERY informative... keep it up.

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Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 1:24:00 PM

lol.... I try. As long as they don't shoot the messenger ;-)

DebbieGuzzi

Date: 10/11/2012 10:23:00 AM

Regarding what I think about whether metaphor adds or detracts:[ observed scene to the emotion/reflection] if we consider part 1 [the first 3 lines haiku] then we stay in objective mode [for me..my decision] with the space left for the reader by the cut between phrase and thought letting the reader have his/her own experience..THEN with part 2 the 2/longer lines where subjectivity and emotion is added by the poet..there I would see no harm in the use of metaphor? Am I making any sense?

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 10:49:00 AM

To clarify: I much rather prefer a statement, "the pill bottle empty// the chemist is closed tonight....", than "my illusions are//thwarted, rainbows are dancing...." as the opening gambits ... :-)

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 10:42:00 AM

A bit like Slap. It falls flat if you do not understand the content matter. A bit like listening to a political debate and you have not kept abreast of politics.... :-)

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 10:41:00 AM

You are making perfect sense, Deb. Although, I might add that haiku came about because of waka (later called tanka.... long story). So, I would rather go with the more modern use of tanka, namely to explore your environment and to reflect upon it. Like all writing (poetry, novels, prose) it is the twist in the tail or the contrasting, yet related element, which gives the WOW effect. I do employ metaphors in my poetry, not only tanka, but it is lost on the audience. You do need to be versed in the subject of the poem, to grasp some of the meaning.

Suzette Crous

Date: 10/11/2012 10:07:00 AM

If you read my poem, Grass, you will see what I mean by using indentation (opposed to centering or having it flush against the left margin). It would not have had the same effect.

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JoannGrisetti

Date: 10/11/2012 9:23:00 AM

Thanks for an informative blog.

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Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 9:33:00 AM

You are welcome :-)

kashpoet

Date: 10/11/2012 9:16:00 AM

Very good blog on the form Tanka.Hope to post a tanka for the contest.

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Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 9:33:00 AM

kash, I am looking forward to your contribution :-)

Suzette Crous

Date: 10/11/2012 7:04:00 AM

Chasing the Dragon// blank eyes staring back at me// my being constrict// the yen become unbearable// illusions only escape// Now would anyone, beside myself, know what the Dickens I am talking about? So, let us keep it simple. There are numerous websites devoted to poetry forms. Love, Su

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 7:24:00 AM

As the meaning might be lost on the reader,

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 7:22:00 AM

Use of metaphors is a personal matter.

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 7:20:00 AM

There is a reason why I used the capital letters. Furthermore, there should be a caesuras (pause) between "illusions" and "only escape"

Suzette Crous

Date: 10/11/2012 6:48:00 AM

Nearly all Japanese syllables consist of a single vowel, or consonant plus vowel. As the language has only five vowels, rhyming is too simple to be interesting, hence Japanese poetry does not depend on rhyme. There are no poetic stress accents, so metre based on stress is not possible, either. Instead, traditional Japanese poetry is given rhythm by writing to a pattern of 5/7/5/7/7 sub-units or sound sets, with varying breath pauses being made when read aloud. Japanese is an agglutinative language which strings together shorter elements to create long, sometimes complex, word and phrase formations.

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 6:49:00 AM

Rhythmically and semantically, 5/7/5 combines unevenness with alternation, thus providing a natural balance to offset its inherent fluidity.Haiku and Senryu are derived from the ancient Japanese poetry form, waka – called tanka after the literally revolution.

Suzette Crous

Date: 10/11/2012 6:46:00 AM

From my blog:"A few variations appear simply to be matters of the poet’s own taste, or purely cosmetic, such as the centering of lines. Other fundamental elements of structure are also at work, creating tension and interplay of form with content. These have to do with cadence, rhythm, accents, or stresses, the use of end-stopped lines or rhetorical line breaks, caesuras within lines and phrases, enjambment, juxtaposition of images, or a pairing of distinct strophe-antistrophe components within the poem. These elements—not the number of syllables in a line—are the decisive elements in tanka structure as written in English. THAT is why I'm keeping it simple.I hope this sets your mind at rest"

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DebbieGuzzi

Date: 10/11/2012 6:25:00 AM

I have been study more on this form and I have not seen any one exclude a particular poetic device, why would metaphor be excluded? metaphor is injecting a subjective opinion on the noted scene. [How about the rest of the devices simile, alliteration, assonance?]

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 9:33:00 AM

Please see my blog: Tanka - a learning curve, as I give and example of a metaphor being used (this is not my fav tanka), but tastes differ.

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 6:57:00 AM

sorry about the "an"... My laptop has a mind of its own :-)

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 6:52:00 AM

Metaphors are not called for - ie it is not an requirement (as seems to be the practice regarding other poetry forms). My thought on the matter: as tanka calls for an observation (not an interpretation) and in the second phrase, an response, I do not see how metaphors can enhance the tanka.... What do you think, Deb?

VickyTsiluma

Date: 10/11/2012 4:11:00 AM

Hey Suzette, just so we're clear - you've explained the importance of the pivotal line - does it mean that in your examples, the line 'splintering shadows' ceases to be the pivotal line in your second example?

Vicky Tsiluma Date: 10/11/2012 7:39:00 AM

Thank you Suzette. And thank you for imparting much needed knowledge on this wonderful form. You are a gem!

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 5:06:00 AM

Thank you for your question, Vicky. Yes, you are correct. In my two example, I have written two different tanka, each with it's own pivot line (third line in each poem), following the same principal that the pivot line must relate to both the first phrase and the second phrase of the tanka.

Suzette Crous Date: 10/11/2012 5:05:00 AM

I illustrated (I hope) that by switching lines around, you may leave a totally different impression on your readers. If you wish to, you may visit my website, Suzette Crous - Poet (web address under my Bio here) and read the extended notes regarding tanka and other poems. Su

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