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5/7/2010 7:49:09 PM
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Just found this section
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Didn't Obama say that Oil Rig's don't leak?
Where's the review of this accident?
What's to stop another Oil Rig from Exploding?
Isn't this the sign that we need to just stop this senseless drilling?
I don't understand how people can just ignore asking those questions?
I believe that animals have the right to live, I mean they want to live.
But think about how many animals died today? And Yesterday...
They die everyday...not just from Animal Abuse but from harmful practices that destroy their habitats.
Sad thing is...most of the murderers get away with it...just like they'll probably get away with the murder of the tens of millions of sea Life and Avian life that are going to perish from this catastrophic oil blunder.
The saddest thing is how many rare species will die before there are none left?
Someone please explain how their deaths are justified.
I don't think we've even covered how this Oil Spill will affect people and their livelihoods.
edited by Apocapus on 5/7/2010
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5/7/2010 8:18:29 PM
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Dreaming
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I lie on ground so bare, as if nothing were ever there, in the effervescent air, dreaming.
Dreaming of a world yet to come, sucking on a sweet red plum,dreaming. I've never dreamt
before, sleep has always been a bore yet I somehow yearn for more, dreaming. A taste of
happiness, taken from a black crow's nest , served on a bed of lettuce, dressed. Watching
mother nature's best, dreaming. I cannot stop lying here, Breathing open air, upon the ground
so bare. Wishing for things that aren't there, dreaming.
- Is there anything I can improve?
edited by Apocapus on 5/9/2010
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5/9/2010 10:33:10 AM
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Dreaming
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Thank you...I may actually do that.
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5/9/2010 4:37:08 PM
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Dreaming
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No I meant it to be this way...I like to read it fast...because how it sounds so wonderful to me...It's one big list...separated by commas, periods or anything in the like.
I can understand your criticism and I take it...but After the last Revision I'm completely satisfied.
I don't know how to classify it...perhaps something of wild verse or speed verse...since I encourage people to really flow into it.
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5/16/2010 1:41:04 PM
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Why Can't I?
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with sad choices,Oh Sad Voices, crying in the night
weeping pain, they cry in vain, they weep in sorrow, why can't I?
Piercing shrieks, they find their peak, within my heart
within my soul, they consume my insides, Consume me whole
Weeping Children, dying night, lives are ending before they start.
I hear their voices, I hear their pain, I hear them reaching for life again, they weep forever, they weep their plight, weeping in sorrow, Why Can't I?
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5/16/2010 1:42:32 PM
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Why Can't I?
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I don't know if it's that good since people ignore it.
I know it's not the happiest poem in the world since I wrote it when I was very distraught.
But Sad or not I still gave birth to something and I really wish to know if this is a joyous birth or a tragic one.
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5/16/2010 1:46:45 PM
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Pay To Breathe
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Pay to breathe
Pay to breathe
wrapped in greed
you cannot see
the meaning of life
before your eyes
stillness captured in your lies
worth a dime
pockets dry
you do a crime
you do the time
then you pay to breathe?
Or you die?
- Not sure about this one...
Anything I can improve on?
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5/17/2010 9:15:27 AM
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When Wars End
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They only need you so long as they can use you...like an empty bottle of water they'll throw you a way.
the living fight on
the dead get honored
the injured get forgotten.
- I cannot say I am not outraged for the treatment of soldiers.
That they have rights. The important reason why people shouldn't throw their lives away recklessly just so someone can profit from your death.
If a soldier dies their death doesn't improve my living situation at home.
In fact I'll barely hear of it.
But I'll be damned if some politician doesn't ride that soldier's corpse to political victory, it is sick and disgraceful and happens all the time.
all the while an injured veteran sits there in a wheel chair, barely living off the few benefits he has.
He fought just as hard as the next guy...
Where's his parade??
edited by Apocapus on 5/17/2010
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5/17/2010 11:07:15 AM
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Why Can't I?
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your revision is interesting...but I can't change it..because those words came from my heart and Lives are ending in sorrow's plight...doesn't reflect what my pain was...it was a direct response to all to all the children dying...I meet some amazing young people online...and it thrills me that they will be our hope...these amazing kids can save this world with their compassion and intelligence...then I go back online and find news that they had died.
It flat out destroyed me.
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5/17/2010 11:12:04 AM
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Pay To Breathe
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Ummm yeah but it kills the symbolism and I had it set to a specific flow.
And when you change the words, it changes what the poem means...this poem had a message.
Maybe if you understood the message...you wouldn't have chosen those words.
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5/17/2010 11:22:48 AM
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Pay To Breathe
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Pay to breathe
Pay to breathe
Your wrapped in greed you cannot see
the meaning of life
before your eyes
The stillness captured in your lies
Is worth a dime
With pockets dry
You do a crime
You do the time
but still the rest of us pay to breathe
Or die
- How's that? Better?
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5/17/2010 11:48:38 AM
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Our Baby: By Rain [Bow] Aka The Lost Poet
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That's depressing and lovely.
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5/17/2010 11:52:31 AM
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To the Gulf Of Mexico (To be renamed)
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The Gulf Of Dead Silence
Sweet Empty gulf farewell
all the animals I've known so well
a drift among the lifeless waves
corroding in the grim sun's rays
the dim murk reaks of death
the odor causes my nose distress
I'll never see the water blue
consumed forever by BP's Crude.
- To every animal that has swam, trot, or flew
I bid thee all adieu
I'll miss you.
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5/17/2010 1:42:09 PM
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Why Can't I?
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The heart may sing the loudest song but it's song may weep the same.
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5/17/2010 1:42:38 PM
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Pay To Breathe
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Still not perfect though?
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5/17/2010 1:52:24 PM
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the nightmare you wish was a dream
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There aren't really any flaws...and the message is very sweet.
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5/17/2010 5:12:51 PM
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Why Can't I?
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Margaret I don't understand what you mean.
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5/17/2010 5:34:26 PM
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Pay To Breathe
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Yeah I like those changes...I might use them. Thanks!!
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5/18/2010 8:39:16 AM
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Pay To Breathe
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Yeah but I originally meant it as a question...I was expressing rage...
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5/18/2010 8:41:40 AM
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Why Can't I?
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Yeah...but a lot of people won't understand ere...I've used it before...but I made this poem as a pure mass of emotion...it probably has some mistakes...but it breaks my heart to change any of it...knowing what inspired it.
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