Poetry Forum
izzelaw
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all messages by user
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12/23/2016 7:50:23 AM
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Please comment on this.
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I think it can make a very nice poem, but it needs a little editing. As commented earlier it needs to be changed to flow a bit better, and if you want, you might add a few more creative, descriptive words or synonyms of what you have now, to make it more interesting and fun to read.
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