Poetry Forum

mefenske - all messages by user

10/24/2015 3:16:57 PM
-Stagnate Pain- Honesty needed. Structure even?	How can I improve on this? What kind of Poem would this be? Does it need more flow? Or more areas that rhyme? I do hope it is okay to work it out here, before posting to "my poems". Thank you in advance. I've watched them struggle with their pain. Unable to help lift them out. This is what I wrote: Stagnate Pain Emotional Pain. Holding On; Creating situations and patterns, to- Keep it close. Afraid of the unknown; Relinquish the pain and anguish? Convinced. Fearful; Of what it's departure could mean; being devoid of feeling altogether? Unable to fathom; The light, The relief, The sheer satisfaction- shedding this pain can bring. It has become your old friend. A constant companion, hidden in your heart- always in reach. Unwilling to move on. It lingers. You've chosen; the gruff, heavy, cumbersome blanket, weighing you down. Your feet are running, yet, never touching the ground. Stagnate pain. © Danielle Fenske 10/24/2015 all rights reserved. edited by mefenske on 10/24/2015 Stanza left out- Does it belong? where?: You've tried to help them out of their pain. Only to watch them choose it again. edited by mefenske on 10/24/2015 edited by mefenske on 10/24/2015
10/25/2015 10:21:45 PM
I'm writting again! After a 15 year dry spell...	Hi everyone. Some of you have read my writing. I began posting last weekend. Thank you so much for the feed back given. I am coming off of a 15 year dry spell. I feel like I have once again found my voice. A bit about me: I had a brain tumor (in my hypothalamus/ rt.Thalamus) at 3yrs old, the size of a golf ball and growing. It was incurable, inoperable. I was given 6 weeks to live. Yet God had other plans. I'm now 40. And my case is considered a "medical miracle". I relearned to walk, to talk, everything was relearned. My slight left sided limp and dis-coordinated left side, is my daily reminder... God's plans are bigger than my own. One of the lasting effects, was said to render me in able to have children... Again, God had other plans, I gave birth to 9 (7 girls and 2 boys)! I see life as a miracle. A privilege. A bonus, each year I am here! Most of my poetry is with those I wrote it for... in my early years I never considered keeping copies. A very few are etched to memory. Those are here. My newest writing thus far is here too. My style usually is positive and hopeful, but recently a dear friend (and many family members) are dying (end stages) from various cancers. Still I trust God and His will...whatever that may be. I appreciate all feedback on my poetry. I welcome ideas, if you see something amiss, or that doesn't quite translate, do not hesitate to bring it to my attention. Thank you for welcoming me into this beautiful forum. Blessings, Danielle Fenske
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