Poetry Forum

Ibrahim - all messages by user

8/1/2013 6:33:46 AM
Please read and criticize	“What He Got, For Loyal He Remained” A man dead here, A man dead there, A sword fallen here, A sword fallen there. Bewildered, The general looked around, His heart, Beginning to thump and pound. His army was torn, His fighters were dead, And everyone would question, By whom were they lead. His heart told him to stay, His mind told him to go, The face of the king, The face of the foe. The battle would be lost, Not necessarily the war, The confusion of illusion, The wrath of thor. As he stood there thinking, His heart divided in to, His army was fleeing, What should he do. No, he decided, What a coward he would be, If a losing battle, Even he would flee So he picked up his sword, And struck upon the enemy, Turning a losing battle, Into a great, big victory. He didn’t live to see the celebrations, For he was killed by astray arrow, But his achievement was great, For the chances were narrow. His name went in history, His bravery others did crave, And what he did get, Was a decorated grave! Thanks
8/4/2013 4:59:16 PM
Please read and criticize	Ibrahim here, didnt quite get your point. please elaborate. Thanks a lot
8/8/2013 2:53:55 AM
Please read and criticize	Sorry Mel. I looked at the wrong line, but i got your point, and I'll rectify it. Thanks a lot
8/27/2013 9:15:30 AM
Urgent, My Dear Soupers	Hey guys, I'm trying to get a few poems published in the form of a book for which the title I chose is this: "Hurt, Hope & A Touch of Nature" the poems i plan to add in it are: A home in the contryside A walk in trafford square a journey by sea broken axonia angel falls but then he followed his heart faith fire life in reality natures beauty teachers love young sage Please check these out to see if they fit the title. And if you have a better title, pls suggest. Also check out the rest of my poetry to see if any of the others fall under this title, and those from the list above which dont. please notify urgently. Thanks A Lot Ib*
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