Poetry Forum

Gabe - all messages by user

1/6/2015 6:13:56 PM
18 Stoic Faces - by Bob Atkinson	Bob you try to enlighten us with your poetry-- and you do make good points-- but one thing I think you fail to see: people no longer have the patience for long poems. It's like telling a joke...if the build-up is too long, then the punch line is only funny to the teller. Furthermore, after reading your first poem and reflecting on it, it's hard to have the time to understand all the others you add with that. "Brevity is the soul of wit" said the Bard. Poe was write... our attention span is short. In a very long joke...say 'Alice's Restaurant' (and if you don't know that, then maybe you should look it up and the culture of America during the 60's and 70's)... it is horribly long, but it is spotted with little witticisms that keep audiences interested and amused. In children's stories from bygone cultures and times as "Jack and Jill", kids in present-day Greenland would say it to themselves in the language of the vikings who conquered the island centuries before-- though, they didn't know what the words meant, it just sounded nice. The best American political speech "The Gettysburg Address" was first regarded as crap for it was so short, but now it's chiseled on a stone monument in Washington D.C.. You are singing to the choir. Poe is and was write a thousand times over. If you want to write something long, then you need to speckle it with things to hold reader's and listener's attention, not add more poetry to enhance a poem's meaning.
2/2/2015 10:05:17 PM
A hot mess in a tight dress	A hot mess in a tight dress-- Looking as mean as Norma Jean-- Eat you alive. With a glance she'll kill-- Date nothing less than man in Mattell-- Kindness from her, you'll never tell 1/21/'15 edited by Gabe on 2/2/2015
2/2/2015 10:09:23 PM
Emptiness is a void	Emptiness is a void-- Loneliness can fill it-- Darkness too... A space-filled nothing-- It cannot be enjoyed 1/8/'15 edited by Gabe on 2/2/2015
6/11/2015 11:59:40 PM
Jaffe's Girlfriend	What do you see when you look at me-- Your eyes say what they feel, But I need to hear what they'd speak my dear-- Your pupils do bite and tear yet... My ears do not listen to the stares they glare-- And I cannot understand these two mighty holes through me Wondering as I fall, "What are you made of my love?" "Jaffe's Girlfriend" 5/22/'15 edited by Gabe on 6/12/2015 edited by Gabe on 6/12/2015
6/12/2015 12:09:39 AM
To find in words the Beauty	To find in words the Beauty They listen with their eyes, And see with their mind... That is what a poet must do 5/27/'15 edited by Gabe on 6/12/2015
8/19/2015 12:31:13 AM
Darkness to Darkness we may pass	Darkness to Darkness we may pass Never knowing that was our last-- And who should know-- Not I-- A sweet revenge for living a life so long In summary, the first line hits on the point when we close our eyes we die...the second line states that we never know when that will happen...the third asks who does know...the fourth states the narrator does not...and the fifth line simply says it is better to live a long time not to... 8/4/'15 edited by Gabe on 8/19/2015 edited by Gabe on 8/19/2015 edited by Gabe on 8/24/2015
8/24/2015 12:36:36 AM
Elephant Ears	Elephant Ears Hanging low and voluminous too, Try to hide them they do, But always they show-- To fondle them, kiss them, nuzzle them, Ich liebe "Elephante Ohren"... It's a German term 7/29/'15 edited by Gabe on 8/24/2015 edited by Gabe on 8/24/2015
12/28/2015 10:24:55 PM
Christmas In-Laws and Glenns	Where am I Where have I gone Going through Hell to the End This family thing I'll never win edited by Gabe on 12/28/2015 edited by Gabe on 12/28/2015
12/28/2015 10:30:25 PM
When she comes...	When she comes... Hold yours close For Hell froze over and Heaven be a spaceless nothing 11/29/'15 edited by Gabe on 12/28/2015
12/30/2015 12:20:56 AM
To hear the sickle reap	What is it like in that moment before the end-- When the abyss stares at you through and through-- I'd think you'd not know-- For Time makes no sound when the sickle reaps To hear the sickle reap edited by Gabe on 12/30/2015 edited by Gabe on 12/30/2015
5/10/2016 11:40:35 PM
If Life strikes you not	If Life strikes you not-- To cut you in that Fated way-- And you linger till not even an enemy be-- Know then the pain of loneliness edited by Gabe on 5/10/2016 edited by Gabe on 5/17/2016
5/10/2016 11:52:18 PM
The silence does sing	The silence does sing To the emptiness it will bring A darkness to the void To fill the nothingness that cannot be enjoyed edited by Gabe on 5/10/2016
7/9/2016 10:31:49 PM
A hundred or more there were	A hundred or more there were... With their betters they came-- Two then three then six then none-- Never will I be able to stand above him Never My Dad 7/9/'16 edited by Gabe on 7/9/2016 edited by Gabe on 7/9/2016 edited by Gabe on 7/11/2016
1/20/2017 10:56:49 PM
My Heart	My Heart, When I look at you I see as never before-- The silvery hue of water droplets on elephant ears-- A pink dawn of a new-born day-- The beauty of a blood-red dusk in May-- And if you before me go, then I will but surely follow 1/20/'17 edited by Gabe on 1/20/2017 edited by Gabe on 1/20/2017 edited by Gabe on 1/20/2017
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