Poetry Forum

Eiken - all messages by user

12/28/2010 3:34:39 AM
Hi everyone	Hi, I have just signed in - I started writing poetry this year. I am Irish but live in Ireland and Germany and have lived abroad in Europe for many years now. I have posted two poems that I wrote recently but am not sure what to do now. I hope I can read some work also, I will check out the site and hope to enjoy my time here.
12/28/2010 3:36:19 AM
Hi everyone	Hi Liz, I am Irish and hope to find my way around the site here. I just signed in so am saying hello.
12/28/2010 3:48:36 AM
The Saver	I really like this poem, wonderfully crafted and a very enjoyable read.
12/29/2010 2:59:25 AM
Bird thaw morning	Afterthe thaw birds swim the sky wings outstretched, exuberant warmed by a light drizzle falling on pear soaked fields they drink in a saturated land Gliding from Cedar to Spruce great canopies of army green, the gulls alight from a satin sky to branches covered in lichen where pistachio ivy clings Sweeping over a shrouded sea liquorice birds blot the view A silver birch extends it’s arching limbs as blackbirds gather rejoicing on a melting morning edited by Eiken on 12/29/2010 edited by Eiken on 12/29/2010
12/29/2010 11:04:00 AM
Floating	Hi, I liked this poem, very spiritual, dreamy, lofty thoughts with a depth of loneliness that you chose, the mind a prison, a walking corpse, closed off to the world. The whole idea of hibernation comes to mind where there would be no worries, no stress, no thoughts, just peace and sleep but under ice makes it less appealing, just my thoughts. A lovely write and read.
12/29/2010 11:20:37 AM
Rooms and War	Hi Qi, This is a deeply moving poem, very sad, traumatic. I am not sure why you put the words in German there, are they just your personal references to your grandfather (opa). I found they distracted me while reading, I stopped at the opa, Herr Uberlebende and again at Liebling and I had to go back to re-read again and again. I feel it would be best not to have the German in there but just my thoughts. I live in Ireland and in Germany at present and the war is still such a big part of TV in Germany. There are endless documentaries which surprised me when I went to live there at first. I love the description of your grandfather, in fact the whole first verse is wonderful. I recently wrote a piece on remembrance day of my Great Grandfather who died in the Somme and I realised when writing it that it was best that he was blown to pieces for those who survived, lived out the rest of their lives in sheer misery with recurrent nightmares of the shelling, body parts, trenches. "For it would be your death to enter Into those vacant rooms Starved walls" I think these lines say so much and I really love your last lines, wonderful end to this poem. A super write
12/29/2010 3:52:10 PM
Dogma Delivery (ABC Poem)	Wonderful poem, I love it.
12/30/2010 2:18:04 AM
shadows in candlelight	Feeble and hunched over his movement stumbles as shuffling feet echo in the shadows of a candle-lit forgotten church as the old priest performs his sacred rituals to a few faithful followers A commitment to the cloth harbourer of hidden secrets an unclaimed inheritance no longer passed on the last remaining elders keepers of unwanted wisdom take their secrets to the grave
1/7/2011 4:35:10 AM
shadows in candlelight	I would really appreciate comments please.
1/7/2011 4:50:19 AM
ABC form, please critique	An apprehensive Amy Births baby Bob Carefully cradles cries Dons dry diapers Emanates endless emotions Fraught frantic fears Grateful glad greetings Huge happy hugs Innate intuition increases Joyful jaded journey Key kind kin Learner loving lavished Must make money Nurturing new needs Oceans of options Play pray plan Quiet questioning queries Restful rescue remedies Seeking soother solutions Truly tired times Uncertain, unforgettable unity Varied viral visits Warm winter woollens Xylophones xeroderma, x-ray Yesterday youthful years Zestful zoned zoo
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