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12/17/2022 2:56:01 AM
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Special
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Would another verse redefining 'special' add to the poem and the journey?
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12/17/2022 4:36:26 AM
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Special
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Hi, not to critique yours at all, but I had a play around with some of the words as they echo some of my feelings too. Absolutely keep yours the same, but here's a slightly different version. I'm a complete novice and it's unedited but there might be ideas for extra bits to find with this version or some solace that you aren't alone feeling that way.
Special
Pointlessly shouting to the sky
I want to be SPECIAL
The wind whispered almost unheard back
You already are
No, No, don’t you see
Shouts the reply, fist waving angrily
I want to be SPECIAL
More than just me
Not stopping there
The rant full throttle
Demanding importance and acclaim
I can no longer be unseen
Fame and fortune equating to purpose
And all that goes with it
What do I do, oh what do I do?
To make this happen for me?
The wind soft and gentle still
Waits and bides it's time with loving patience
Waiting for the rant to end
She ever so gently caressed my face
The wind saw me and I heard her
Whispering love full of grace
But you already are
Queen of your existence
The promised contentment eased my soul
Everything gone before serving only to remain as a strong foundation
The fussing and fighting fading
Just a misunderstanding with fate
It’s a mistaken flurry
Born of rush and hurry
That created insecurity
Etched deep within
Early on, reasons untold
Weakness in nurture, planted a seed
Resulting in a reassurance loop need
Ever repeating, ever repeating
But that's based on the insecurity of others
Passed through time
Recognised and seen for what it is
Work in progress to make it undone
Redefine what special means
Recognise the special in me
Know that it's more than beauty or fame
Each of our essence is not the same
When you are not sure
If there's a key to the lock
Of the door to the dream
Then try first a knock
Stepping forward, being true
Breathing in and seeing
What others already knew
The special was always within you
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12/19/2022 4:56:19 AM
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Raw poetic weirdness seeking clarity
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Written as a flow of consciousness but with enough good bits that could be made into something? Which path should this brain dump take? Currently disconnected and heavy editting required. Could be presented in other poetic styles which I haven't yet learnt (or heard of). I particularly like the line about unpicking and getting tangled.
Just the right level of weird
That's the aim
Complex but not unfathomable
Difficult
But worth it
I don't predict I'll be easy going any time soon
"It's been great knowing you" is not the line associated with me
"It's been interesting" maybe
The aim is to like myself
Tricky business that
I wonder how many people master it?
It feels like everyone sails triumphantly over the seas making merry conversations and not being weird
I'm stuck with weird and don't want to be in their boat, although I wish I wanted to be
Organised days, acceptable fun, neat, planned, just imagine
Right now I could be preparing tea in advance but I'm in bed with the dog lay on my feet, he has the pillow too - I can't possibly make tea when the bed now smells of dog, this and other avoidable mini dramas stopping my success
Happy dog days, accomplishment
I need a different tick list
On it I'll write:
Be weird
Be lenient with the dogs rules
Be spontaneous about tea
Be laid back (as literal as required) about housework
I can already tick off eating chocolate for breakfast
Tomorrow can have a tick list
With order and routine
That counts the minutes
And uses them wisely
Today my energy is spent
Long before I rose
I'll rest in several locations today
To summon the energy for tomorrow
I'm not sure if unpicking the weird
Gets you tangled in the stitches?
Patching the weird
Leaves you partially hidden
Chopping away the weird
Results in holes
Too much weird
Leads to combustion and explosion
How do I get to just the right amount?
Perfectly editted this could be a poignant poem
Perfectly editted I could be neat
Perfect edit seeking aim
Trouble is, it drives you mad
Hello square one
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12/23/2022 9:57:24 AM
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Who Are You?
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Hi, I'm no poetry expert so can only talk of my own preferences. Your poem has the right essence but just looks to need a reflective edit. Sometimes I find the rhymes or line orders can be reordered or tweaked to make a real difference.
I think, but I'm not expert, there may be a little bit that can improve the flow but the concept and central theme are put across really well.
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2/6/2023 1:57:08 AM
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Non poet poet entered the building
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Hi, I'm going by the handle Dilly Dally and joined Poetry Soup after getting signed off work for a bit after experiencing (or perhaps acknowledging) severe anxiety after some significant life events. I had done a creative writing exercise as part of some CBT I think and suddenly I was writing poem after poem and finding it was quite cathartic and helped me process my thoughts and feelings. I joined Poetry Soup as I saw there were contests and I'm unfortunately quite inclined towards external validation.
I quite quickly started getting placed in contests (although probably get N/A in equal measure!)
I find when I'm focussing on writing a poem my heart rate comes down and I can feel settled for a while.
I'm not sure what poetic style I lean towards as I have no training at all and therefore probably am not aware of a lot of poetry rules. I'm afraid I need to also confess I don't as yet have a favourite poet. But I don't have much in the way of favourites in many things as I think I'm too self conscious to make concrete choices. I'm a mass of contradiction. I'm not sure what makes a poet but it's nice to have somewhere to share my writing and to have the contests so that I don't only explore being anxious and conflicted as a topic. Thank you to anyone reading this who has placed me in their contests or has commented on my poems - it really means a lot. Hopefully I can get more experienced and fine tune a bit more.
edited by adrenaline on 2/6/2023
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2/6/2023 2:42:24 AM
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Sonnet Oz1
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Hi John, I'm not an experienced poet but I don't think studying is strictly necessary. The poem does convey the situation but I think perhaps needs to convey more emotion. It looks written to be a poem rather than written out of feeling. The best advice is to edit and rework until you are happy with it. Sometimes putting it down and working on something else then going back to it. Poetry is very personal, so sometimes others opinions don't matter so much as it is your poem and your thoughts and your rules. Good luck and I hope you are enjoying writing.
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2/7/2023 8:01:31 AM
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I would appreciate your highly rigorous criticism
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I'm no expert but my thoughts are that bright and lightning create a jolt that is an unpleasing meter. I'm afraid I also find it difficult to understand the context or subject.
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2/7/2023 8:11:11 AM
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First peom have no idea if it qualifies as a peom?
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Anything can qualify as a poem.I have some difficulty as the fish you describe isn't widely known as having a beautiful soul and there is no battle for a creature that likely has no sense or regard for its appearance.
There is potential in the description though and forgive me, but I reworked it slightly to demonstrate my points.
Devourer of the depths
Living life alone
Shining a small light visible from afar
Seen by no one
Unknowable and unknown
In the vast ocean
you are in my mind and in my heart
But this is not my reality
Even in my days of worst depression
There is hope
I am known and I am seen
My light is visible in a World of beauty
Tomorrow will be a better day
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2/11/2023 1:57:30 PM
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Hello to Everyone.
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Hello there! I have been here a couple of months. I'm not sure how I held in all the poetry that now is unleashed!
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2/15/2023 2:40:24 AM
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Sup everyone! Time to speak to everyone!
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Hi, I'm not sure how others write but I just write whatever comes to mind, then stare at it a while until is takes a shape. I think it's best to be free to not worry about it being a poem (for me) and feel the emotion rather than be a slave to rhyme. If you like to rhyme, I'd place higher importance on the right words before the rhyming word. As a good rhyme won't save a bad poem.
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2/20/2023 11:17:39 AM
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Hello and Thank you !!!
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Poetry can be a really good cathartic process. I have no experience either and sometimes stop enjoying the whole thing when presented with rules that are too picky although I enjoy the more relaxed ones that encourage trying out new styles. Good luck with your writing 
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2/21/2023 9:24:24 AM
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Time to Come Back
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I'm very new here, but completely understand how difficult everything you describe must be. Poetry can be very powerful to cope with processing big emotions. I hope you find it helpful.
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2/25/2023 11:45:31 AM
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Please kindly critique my poem!
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Hi, I'm not sure it's possible to make suggestions for something so personal. I am inclined to suggest getting a second opinion on the situation though if this is based on reality. Sometimes it's daunting thinking of making big steps to change something deeply engrained, however those offering help on various matters are usually experts who can help with small steps in the right direction instead of staying on a destructive path.
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3/9/2023 3:07:30 AM
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Add MP3 audio without premium
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I'd like to add audio to my poems but I'm not a premium member and I can't seem to figure out the online MP3 way of linking. Anyone successfully done this?
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3/9/2023 2:48:29 PM
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Critique please!
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This reads great to me, I wouldn't change it.
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3/16/2023 3:30:56 PM
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How can I submit my poem
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Just make sure you have checked or written something in all the relevant sections. You need to tick at least one box for description.
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5/31/2023 1:46:52 PM
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Get images to show for my poems?
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Ahh helpful (hopefully)
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